


Wasteland, Baby

by eilharts



Series: Cyberpunk Judy/FemV Stories [6]
Category: Cyberpunk 2077 (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Bisexual Panam Palmer, Dynamic Characters, Explicit Language, F/F, Fluff, Humor, OCs based off characters you might know, Petty Drama, Smut, Thoughts of Suicide, also this one is darker and more serious than the rest of the series, but V will survive I swear, gonna explore death, hello can I interest you in, lots of references, mushy lesbians, post Star ending, serious scenarios that will probably make you cry, some mantis blades action, stupid scenarios, the gonk needs a kick in the ass, there is one suicide attempt
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-21
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-13 07:54:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 19
Words: 83,626
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28899993
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eilharts/pseuds/eilharts
Summary: V and Judy finally leave Night City behind and join the nomads. They are still outsiders, though. Both need to truly earn their place, bond with the community, and deal with the burden of V's condition.My Avocados are a bunch of stereotypes and high school bullies and won't accept V as easily as Panam. Expect some drama and more focus on the characters.
Relationships: Judy Alvarez/Female V
Series: Cyberpunk Judy/FemV Stories [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2095428
Comments: 201
Kudos: 248





	1. A Rough Start

**Author's Note:**

> I stole another Hozier-themed fic name. Go me! >:D

The heat was pleasant on her skin. The intense sunlight attacking her eyes was not so nice, though. Judy rarely ever got see this much sunlight without a proper shade of megabuildings in sight. It definitely took some getting used to, even with proper sunglasses.

The nomads drove in a mass of vehicles, all of them somehow moving like one to an imaginary beat of a war drum, accompanied by the never-ending chatter on their shared frequency. They debated everything from the weather to how some dude named Cassidy once saw a really big pear shaped like a butt.

Judy held onto V’s hand through all of this in comfortable silence, both lost in their own thoughts. The techie felt a mix of excitement and fear. She has finally left, and had no loose ends that would pull her back; everything she needed was right there with her. Except these nomads were still strangers with even stranger culture and behavior. She wasn’t one of them like V, and even that gonk was a newbie in their ranks. Both of them had a lot of work cut out for them if they wanted to fit in without feeling alienated.

But this felt good. Odd, but good.

She looked over at V and felt her stomach drop as her eyes scanned the bruises and cuts left on that pretty face by that fucker Adam Smasher. Even more damage was done to the rest of her body. Judy couldn’t see the bandages under the regular grey t-shirt, but she knew they were there, wrapped around several broken ribs and a serious gunshot wound. Despite the injuries, V looked calmer than ever as she drove the black Thorton. There was something enchanting in that image, considering how much it contrasted with the way V entered her apartment right after Mikoshi.

She cried back then; fell into her arms, bloody and barely patched up, trembling and spitting out every little detail with brutal honesty. Six months. Maybe more if they got lucky. Everything went to shit just so they could have a little more time together.

Judy has never seen her cry before – V was always strong for her, always showing vulnerability through other ways, so seeing those tears damn near broke her. What hurt even more was that she gave her an out. She could have left. Who the fuck would even want to stay by the side of someone who could not be saved? Well, Judy would have none of that shit, and she would have given her a good shake if the girl wasn’t so weak at the time. No, she would stay. They were in this together to the bitter end and no amount of rambling about how she was just a copy of the original that died by Alt’s hand would change that.

She closed her eyes and tried not to recall that scene again, or the city for that matter. All that existed in her world right now was the warm sun on her skin and the gentle hand holding onto hers. And the chatty nomads, of course.

“…and so I said, ‘Penguins mate for life, but they can’t tell the difference between male and female penguins, so that’s why gay couples used to be so common. They are just that clueless…’”

“That’s really cute but I’m gonna have to stop the penguin trivia for a sec.” Panam shut the guy down. “V! How you doin’, buddy? All good?”

“I’m not driving the panzer, Panam.”

The nomad made a frustrated sound. “Come on, you know how hard it is to be synced up with Mitch for _hours_? He keeps wanting to puke.”

“Ain’t my fault this thing isn’t properly weighed down!” he defended himself weakly.

“I’m sure you’d like me and my various injuries even less, Panam.”

“Oh pshh, I’m not that sensitive. I can handle it! Isn’t sharing the pain the entire point of friendship?”

Judy opened one eye and peeked at the radio. As if the nomad could sense her sudden interest, she quickly changed the topic. “Hey, Judy! We haven’t really talked yet. I once drove your output to your date, did she tell you that?”

“No, she forgot to mention it,” Judy replied, shooting V a playfully accusatory look. “Tell me more.”

“Well she called me out of nowhere about needing a rescue. Then when I arrive, I end up pulling her fancy butt out of a trunk of a car and she is all beaten up – you know, the usual – but then I see the stockings poking out of this elegant skirt and—“

“Yes, yes, she saw me, Panam. Don’t need you to retell this particular story to the rest of the clan,” V quickly interjected.

“Look, I just wanted to say… she talked real sweet about you, Judy,” Panam’s tone changed from teasing to a tentatively warm one. “And I want you to feel welcome! You may not be an official Aldecaldo yet, but you get special kudos for putting up with the gonk for this long.”

“I’m turning this thing off.”

“Keep the frequency open, woman. Chief’s orders!”

V retracted her hand and muttered something under her breath. Judy, who was genuinely touched (but also a bit suspicious), thanked her for the warm welcome, not knowing what else to add. Luckily, Panam didn’t mind the awkwardness.

“No problem. Cassidy, what did you do with that pear? Wait, actually, don’t tell me.”

They both turned their attention away from the radio chatter. V decided to mute it on their end before Judy finally asked about the kidnapping.

“Not my proudest moment, but I didn’t want to ruin the outfit.”

“And that’s why you got our ass beat and nearly killed?”

V gave her a guilty smile. “Worth it, though.”

Judy dragged her palm across her face, unable to form a proper response to that. Meanwhile, V unmated the radio and spoke directly to Panam.

“Hey, chief. Need to take twenty away from the group, will meet you at the town ahead.”

“What, why? Are you sneaking off to make out?!” A cacophony of loud boos and cheers poured from the radio. “Don’t you dare, V. Can’t you wait for a bit longer?”

“I gotta pee.”

“And you need twenty minutes for that?”

“Trust me, I do. Off I go, byeee.”

“Wait—“

V turned the radio off as she veered off the course, separating from the group. Judy watched her in amazement, wondering what her output had planned.

“Drank too much?”

The merc pointed at the full water can in the drink holder. “I just thought we need to unwind a little before we make camp with those losers. Trust me, they won’t let us rest until we turn in for the night. Won’t have much privacy until then.”

Judy eyed her knowingly. “I’m not making out with you. This car doesn’t even have a backseat.”

“Not what I had in mind. We didn’t exactly leave in style and I’ve always pictured myself departing for good wearing this big, stupid smile on my face with a hot babe right next to me as we entered the open road. And uh, so far there hasn’t been much smiling, or rejoicing. Imma fix that.”

She opened the sunroof and quickly set up the autopilot, locking the wheel in place. The terrain was perfect for miles ahead, even without a proper road. There was an occasional bush or a cactus here and there, but they had no chance against Beast.

Judy watcher her output stand up and stick her head out of the sunroof. “V? This ain’t exactly safe…”

“Come up here, you coward.” The merc raised her hands up and laughed. “WOOOOOOOOO, FUUUUCKK YEEEAAAAH!!”

Judy snorted and joined her. “You’re a goddamn clown.”

“Raise your hands, Jude!”

She humored her reluctantly, but found the rest of her will to protest break as the wind ruffled her hair, pleasantly caressing her heated skin. It felt good. Really good.

“EAAAT A DICK YOOORINOBUUU!!” V yelled with passion. “NOOT GOOONA MISS YOOOU REGIINAAAA!!”

“NEEVEEER LIIIKED THE FOOOD ANYYWAAAY!!!” Judy joined in on the Night City roast. “NO MOOOREE POOOORN FOR MEEEEE!!”

“SOOO PROOOUUD OF YOOOUUUU!!! Pfff, bleh, sand. There’s sand in my mouth.” V ducked back inside, accompanied by Judy’s hearty laughter, but even she gave it up after a good mouthful of the stuff.

V parked the car under a large rock cliff, hiding in its shade. The merc groaned and tried to return some feeling into her legs them by doing stretches and kicks. Judy watched her with interest, creeping up behind her to spank her ass.

V straightened up and backed away from her, pressing her back to the car to protect herself from further onslaught. “Goddamn butt pirate. Fuck, don’t touch the car.” She pushed away from the scorching metal. “I need to repaint her, otherwise she’s gonna catch fire in this desert.”

Judy knew they needed the wheels, but she didn’t trust V not to set it on fire eventually. It was inevitable. “She’ll go anyway, knowin’ you.”

“Not this one,” The solo said like a proud car salesman. “This one can – ouch, fuck, hot.” She slapped the hood and cradled her hand like it was sawed off. “Point is - it’s indestructible. Trust me.”

“Kinda hard to believe that,” Judy said, taking V’s burned hand to inspect it. It was prosthetic under the synthetic skin, but it didn’t mean that the material wasn’t sensitive. When she made sure everything was okay and the merc was just overdramatic, she turned to face the never-ending desert around them.

It was empty. Devoid of life. There were no holographic billboards in sight, no traffic, no crowds. Just silence and draught.

“Charming, isn’t it?” V said sarcastically. “I keep thinkin’ I’ll see a skyscraper around every bend.”

“Same. It’s like I never left, yet here I am. It still fuckin’ looms over me like a bad dream.” She snuggled into V when the merc pulled her close to her side. “Not sure how I’m gonna assimilate with this new lifestyle.”

“You’re telling me, I hear they eat bugs. Eating locusts is one thing. Eating scorpions and spiders is another.”

“Scared of creepy crawlies?” Judy let her hand sneak under V’s shirt. Her fingers mimicked the movement of a spider across the free patch of skin that wasn’t bandaged, but much to her dismay, V didn’t even bat an eye. Too bad, she would have liked being the spider-killing woman in their relationship.

“I just don’t want them in my mouth.”

“You’ve just opened yourself up for such a bad joke—“ Judy felt a hand press against her lips.

“Do not.” V whispered in a warning.

Judy pulled the oppressive hand down. “Stop sayin’ shit like that, then.” Her fingers came crawling up V’s neck. “Heard there are real big ones out there.” Going higher, she tapped one finger against V’s lower lip, daring her to open up for her. “You know what they say- eight spiders a year, slurped up in your sleep.”

V was not amused, neither was she willing to take the bait. Judy batted her eyelashes at her, drumming gently against V’s lip with her two fingers. “No? Nothin’?” She sighed and pulled away. “I always wanted a cute girl who’d be really scared of those things.”

“Oh, I see. Well, in that case, I can fulfill your fantasy.” She cleared her throat and gestured for Judy to do the spider crawl again. “One more time, then. I swear I’ll do my best to- _AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!_ ”

The high-pitched, girly scream echoed through the desert and suddenly the merc was gone, jumping over the car and scrambling for cover.

Judy was shocked at first, but couldn’t help the laughter that started bubbling in her chest. She never heard her scream like that. Well, she would give credit for that, she definitely knew how to lift her spirits and distract her from depressing thoughts. Come to think of it, she really needed a break from the nomads as much as V did. And as nice it was, it might be wiser to end it right there. “Alright, you’re cute. C’mere, let’s get back.”

“No.” V pointed at the cliff looming above them. “I wanna climb that.” When she caught herself, she immediately shot Judy a glare. “I know. Shut up.”

“You’re injured, ya gonk. Don’t…and there she goes.”

Judy watched her output climb up the protruding rocks like some kind of a cyber goat. She got a good hold and began climbing, showing no signs of pain or weariness. Luckily, she didn’t go all the way up, deciding that the nice platform ten meters below the lip of the cliff was enough. Judy followed her up, albeit more carefully.

They sat there, mildly disappointed with the view. Just more sand and cacti. No coyotes or wrecks in sight, either. It was as if the place had no tangible history to people or animals.

“Enny for your thoughts?” Judy asked into the silence.

V embraced her knees. Her expression grew undeniably somber. “I kinda dread going back to the clan. I never wanted to become a part of the family, to be honest. Just fell into it. You try to deny that honor when your friend gets all teary-eyed as she gives it to you.” Judy hummed, encouraging her to continue. “I didn’t want to drag them into this mess, but I ran out of options, or better yet, I didn’t like my other options at all. Don’t really know how to make it up to them, Jude. Only a handful of nomads actually wanted to help out of the goodness of their heart, others just followed their leader and died for it. For me.”

“Not true.” Judy scooted closer until their shoulders touched. “Pretty sure they had ulterior motives, V. Arasaka tower is like a candy factory to these guys, the tech they are haulin' with them is worth millions. Those drones Carol tinkered with had top grade cloakin’ and smart targeting. Literal killer drones with light, but hardly penetrable armor, perfect for long distance missions. You would sooner shoot ‘em down with a tank than your little talking pistol.”

“Saw them too. And Saul made sure to tell me that, yeah. He helped me because of politics, but at least he was upfront about it.” She absent-mindedly touched the red cut on her cheek. “It’s all fucking politics, Jude. We might have just signed up for another shitshow, just not with corpos this time around.”

“Guess we’ll have to wait and see, won’t we?” Judy kissed her cheek to bring her out of that gloomy place. It worked like a charm.

“Guess we will.” V smiled, taking a moment to admire how the sunlight bathed Judy’s colored hair in a golden glow. “We should probably go back before Panam sends a search party.” She helped Judy up and dusted her off.

“Um…how do we get down?”

Few minutes later they were helping setting up the camp at an abandoned town. Only few houses were available and those were quickly claimed before V and Judy had a chance to make puppy eyes at the nomads. Whole families packed themselves inside, so it wasn’t like the space went to waste.

Putting up a tent proved to be a hassle on its own and V shamefully admitted that Judy was the only one who knew what she was doing. They gave them a small single bed, which was still more merciful than two sleeping bags, but it definitely wasn’t too ideal.

As they unpacked their belongings, V snuck up to Judy’s side with a gift-wrapped box. “Surprise!”

Judy smiled tentatively, trying to remember what was the occasion. “Eh…thanks?” The box was slightly heavy. When she opened it there was a brand new DPI-350, well, as new as unused ancient tech could be. It looked to be in tip-top condition, matching the same model as the one they found in Laguna Bend. Besides the heavy camera was a stack of blank polaroids waiting to be used.

“I know we could just take stills with our phones and optics, but…” V kicked her feet nervously. “Wanted you to have something more tangible. The lenses are a bit crap, though.”

The unspoken intent lay heavily between them. Making memories while there was still time was a sweet notion, but the thought of what this meant for their future gave Judy pause. She shook herself out of it and closed the distance between them, wrapping her arms around the merc as gently as she could.

“Thank you, V.” She kissed her cheek, careful not to touch injured or bruised skin. “I—“

“Okay lovebirds, I got a job for y—“ Panam froze as she entered the tent. “Oops. Oh well, sorry to interrupt.”

They parted reluctantly, embarrassed by the ruined moment. Things needed to be said, yet the conversation obviously could not be revived with the chief present.

“What’s the job?” V asked, folding her arms on her chest as carefully as she could.

Panam smiled apologetically. “I just thought you guys could help unpack the food supplies. We’re sticking around for a day or two, there’s even running electricity!” Her excitement didn’t really reach the two street kids. “Okay, you just wait. I’m giving you a month before you get so desperate for electricity that you’d use the remaining juice from your car battery for your night lamp.”

The nomad chief then approached Judy, extending her hand with a friendly smile. “Glad to finally talk face to face. I’m the big, scary chief, but you can call me ‘boss’ if you want to.”

Judy shook the offered hand, surprised at how odd it was to have such a contact with anyone besides V. She was so used to her gentle touch that Panam’s firm grip caught her slightly off guard. “I’ll just stick to ‘Panam’ for now.”

The nomad turned to face V who was watching them tensely as if she expected them to start exchanging embarrassing stories on the spot. “You have a cute output, V.”

The merc huffed. “I know. Now where should we go to help out with the unpacking?”

Panam put a hand around V’s shoulders and walked her out of the tent. Judy didn’t expect the woman to be so…chummy.

They had them unpacking equipment and food for what felt like forever. What was not used for lunch had to be packed again to prevent the nomads from eating more than their share. Panam and Mitch watched from the distance and laughed quietly as Judy struggled to get rid of a strip of the powerful military-grade tape. It kept clinging to her fingers no matter how violently she flailed her hand around. V chose to liberate her from that burden by pulling it off, only to have it stuck to her own fingers. More angry flailing ensued until the genius decided to step on it to remove it. Now the tape was stuck to V’s shoe and she was too irritated to do anything about it.

Lunch was some strange variant of odorless Kibble. The stuff looked like pet food at best of times, but the nomads transformed it into a mashed mess that was hard to swallow. Dinner was no better. When the cook asked them how they liked her recipe, the two women proved how terrible they were at acting by praising it like it was the food of gods while trying not to gag. Amazing. Breathtaking. Scrumptious! The cook had a mean smirk on her face by the time she was done interrogating them. When her back turned, the two shoveled the food back into the pot.

After working relentlessly for the remainder of the day, they were delighted to simply sit around a campfire once the night fell. It got so cold that they had to get a blanket, huddling close for warmth.

“Is that your stomach growling or mine?” Judy asked quietly, barely keeping herself awake.

“Hard to tell, honestly.” V yawned. “We should probably turn in. Mitch said that the clan wakes up pretty early.”

“Mhm.” Judy nodded weakly. “I’m wiped, though. And this fire is nice.”

Mitch and Panam decided this was the best time to give them a basic rundown of nomad life. The two struggled not to nod off as Panam talked about sparse usage of electricity and water and how there was nothing odd about finding two or more nomads cuddling under the stars for warmth. She presented them with spray bottles filled with water and soap for “showers” and watched in delight as the two women felt the sharp loss of the most basic commodities. Mitch helpfully said that the best thing to do is to forget about hygiene altogether and embrace the stink, since it was inevitable. Just one look at the state of his jumpsuit was enough to make the women whisper conspiratorially about leaving the nomads in the dust and running off on their own. Panam always seemed tidy and nice-looking though, so V thought that keeping up appearances was definitely possible.

After that merciless exposition dump, the two quickly made an exit for their tent. They changed into their night clothes and hurried to get under the blankets together.

Judy was happy to finally have some time alone with her girl, even if they were both too tired to pick up the conversation Panam had intruded upon. They exchanged sleepy kisses and snuggled close. Even in her lover’s warm embrace, Judy still couldn’t sleep. She felt safe, yet the world outside of their little bubble seemed hostile and alien. That could have been just the homesickness talking, though. Ugh, she never thought she’d miss the place. How ironic.

“V?”

“Can’t sleep?”

“It’s too quiet.” They could hear muffled conversations and laughter of the nomads, but it was still nothing compared to the roar of Night City.

Much to Judy’s dismay, her woman-shaped heater disentangled from her and left the tent. Couple moments later, she came back with a radio and loaded up a station at random. The volume was kept relatively low as not to wake up the other nomads, but it was enough to do the trick and dupe their brains into thinking they were back in their familiar apartments. She crawled back into bed and the two drifted off soon, forgetting about their fears for few precious hours.


	2. Confessions

Next morning started off with someone banging two pots against each other right in front of their tent. And of course that someone was the very impatient chief who needed V in what she called the ‘command center’.

While the merc was gone, Judy took a moment to realize where she even was. She has never felt this disoriented when sober. She brushed her teeth, noticing the dark circles under her eyes and the messy hair. Well, there was nothing she could do about that. In this draught, she wouldn’t be able to comb it without hurting herself.

V was even worse for wear. She found her sitting on a bench near the burned out campfire nursing two cups of coffee. Judy sat down and leaned against her as she took her cup, eyes still puffy with that sleepy, distant look.

“Mornin’…” she murmured into V’s neck, not caring one bit who was watching them.

“Morning, sleepyhead.” She felt a kiss press into her hair. “Dunno about you, but I barely slept. Some fly kept buzzing near my head. For a while I thought you started snoring funny, but no. Just a dumb insect.” Her jaw nearly unhinged as she yawned and took a moment to keep herself awake. “My body will prolly shut down if I don’t inhale this coffee right now.”

The nomads were passing coffee among themselves, chatting loudly. They showed so much energy that Judy began thinking they were all androids. Even the Moxes could barely stand guard in the front of Lizzie’s at this ungodly morning hour. Rita would sooner keel over and snore than yap endlessly about the weather to everyone around her. And god, what a topic. Didn’t these people have anything better to talk about?

She took a mouthful of the mysterious brew and nearly spat it out. She turned her attention to her output and saw that V was making a face as she sipped hers.

The same cook from yesterday approached them with a kettle. “Aren’t you two just adorable? You definitely need that coffee. Refill?”

Judy looked down at the black bean juice in her cup, then back at the woman serving it. “You have some soy milk? I don’t take mine black.”

“I could go for some sugar,” V said.

The cook shook her head, clearly enjoying their suffering. “I’m sorry, those are the two things we Aldecaldos literally fight over. Sugar is very scarce, honey, and the milk is usually reserved for children. I’m afraid you’ll have to take it black. Oh, and here are some protein bars for breakfast. Hope you can work up an appetite, because I’m serving sour beans for lunch!” She shuffled away, humming _A Like Supreme_ like it was the most relaxing tune under the sun.

“Beans?” V’s stomach growled. “No, I think it’s time we started cooking what we brought. For ourselves only, of course.”

Judy rather liked the idea.

They barely managed to finish their protein bars when they got pulled away by Carol and Panam. Judy gave V a brief kiss before following the fellow techie to her workstation. When Carol noticed the cup in her hand, her lip curled up in disgust.

“You’re seriously drinking that swill?” Before Judy could protest, the nomad slapped the cup from her hand. “Forget it, Lucy’s coffee is for psychopaths. Don’t worry, I got you.”

Carol plugged her tiny coffee machine into the electric socket and brandished a box full of flavors. “I’m a very generous woman, but if you pick Latte I will kick you out of here and never speak to you again.”

Judy smiled and chose and a caramel-flavored goodness that had her licking off her coffee mustache like a cat licking her chops after a good drink of her milk. “Carol, you’re my new best friend.”

The older woman scoffed, but looked pleased. “Let’s see if you keep thinking that after I put you to work, Jude. There’s a looot that needs fixin’. I know that city brats have sayings about how tech-savy nomads are, but this family ain’t it. Also, please tell me you didn’t eat anything Luce cooked up yesterday.”

“Didn’t know refusing was an option,” Judy frowned. “Hol’ up, is there another way to get food around here?”

“Oh god.” Carol massaged her temples. “This ain’t a school, girl, and Luce ain’t your lunch lady. You can either chow on your own supply, or form a pact with other nomads and cook with them. Better doin’ it that way, trust me. And since I’m already taking you under my wing, might as well take you into my group. We’re having chili later.”

Judy gaped at her. “Wh…what?”

“There’s a whole lot of hidden systems in this community. You better learn how they work on your own, though. Fast.” Carol patted her shoulder. “Also, my protection only stretches so far, so no, V is not invited.”

Judy knew this was too good to be true. She shrugged the hand off and stepped back. “Then forget it. I’m not leavin’ her to deal with it on her own.”

Carol sighed theatrically. “Fiiiine. Though I wouldn’t worry if I were you. She has Panam wrapped around her finger, so she won’t be eating sawdust and diggin’ latrines like the rest of the family. Unless she pisses her off.”

A weird, territorial feeling settled in her gut. She trusted V, but this was totally different from whatever happened with River. Judy gave the guy a lot of shit, but she never inherently believed he would ever steal V from her. He’d keep his distance, but his feelings? Yeah, those would not go away for a long while. Panam was a whole different type of danger.

Judy liked to think that the nomad was something like what Evelyn was for her; a woman she adored and trusted with her life. Evelyn was a distant, unachievable dream, though. That’s practically what drew Judy in – the woman could beckon with her golden finger and then disappear like a ghost for weeks. Judy knew Panam only briefly, but she could already tell that she was the exact opposite - like a puppy that was all too happy to tackle its owner to the ground if they were separated for longer than ten minutes.

She thought about it relentlessly as Carol put her to work. After few hours of tinkering with software diagnostics, she moved on to fixing someone’s heavily tuned-up car. As she opened the hood and saw the mess inside, she looked at her hands and decided to find some gloves.

“What are you doing? Scared of little motor oil?” Carol teased.

“Look, you people won’t even shower normal and I don’t want to lie down next to my output with this gunk all over me.”

Carol swore and shouted at Mitch to come over. “Did you and Panam try to scare the newcomers again with the hygiene horror story? Let me guess – you made them swear off electricity, too.”

Mitch rubbed the back of his neck. “Eh, you know how it is. Gotta test the new blood, see if they won’t run off first thing in the morning for some minor inconveniences. Sorry, Judy. All of that was false outside of shortages - we keep hauling those solar panels and generators for a good reason. Also, see those two big water trucks?” He pointed at them over his shoulder. “One has clean water, the other collects whatever we put into it and purifies it. Once it’s filled and clean, we switch things up. Simple. You can also take a shower near the clear one, there are faucets and everything. Won’t need to use that now anyway, we turned the water on in the houses. You can go crazy while we’re stuck here.”

Judy folded her arms, glaring at the man. “Great. You better tell V, you hear?”

“Aight, I’m gonna do just that,” he saluted sarcastically and left.

Still not too eager to get the oil all over herself, Judy pulled on protective gloves and started fixing the engine. The work was fun, actually. Doing something other than tuning virtues all day was a welcome change. When the car’s owner came around to collect it, he shook her hand and was so happy that he gave her small pack of sugar as payment. So Lucy was right about that at least, Aldecaldos would not part with their sweetener so easily. It was a bloody form currency around here.

“Hey, Jude.”

A pleasant shiver ran down her spine when she heard V’s voice. She didn’t realize how much she missed the woman until she showed up. Just to spite her new co-worker, Judy rushed to the merc and kissed her long and deep, pulling at her shirt to keep her there until she was satisfied. V was all too happy to oblige. Judy could tell that Carol was probably gagging and trying to mind her own business.

“Hey, yourself,” Judy said in a sultry voice, already hungry for more kisses. Carol would probably not let her eat with her friends if she did that though, and chili was chili.

V pulled away with a pleased smile, brandishing her Samurai jacket. “It’s gonna get cold in the evening again, so I brought you this in case you keep busy until then. Actually, I want you to have it. Permanently.”

Judy knew how much V liked that thing, but she understood why she’d switch it for the Aldecaldo jacket. “Damn, you’re givin’ me that? You sure?”

V made a _tsk_ sound, shaking her head. “Why wouldn’t I give it to you?”

“I dunno, because it’s pretty snazzy? And I know you like glowy things?”

“Listen, it’s very simple. I love this jacket, and I love y- yeast.“ Backpedalling like crazy, she willed her expression into a calm poker-face. “I want bread.”

Busted.

Judy could see the corner of her mouth twitching and she wasn’t blind to the evident panic in her eyes either. There had to be a lot of internal screaming going on in that head of hers.

Smirking, Judy took the jacket from her. “Well, I love yeast, too.” V’s eyes widened and Judy leaned in to peck her twice on the lips before pulling away.

The merc was dumbfounded. Color was pooling into her cheeks and she opened her mouth to say something, but decided to shut it, gesturing incoherently before she gave up on that too. “I…I need a moment to process this information,” she finally managed to say and walked out, struggling to keep a slow pace. Shorty before she disappeared out of sight, she broke into a run, arms flailing in the air.

Judy was mighty pleased with herself. She put the jacket on and felt V’s perfume waft from it and cling onto her like a ghostly embrace.

“You two are so fucking weird…” Carol muttered as she angrily typed something into her computer.

“What?”

“She just refused to say the big words and you’re here all giddy like it meant nothing. If I were you, I’d smack her for that.”

“You don’t understand…”

She knew why V held back. And by all means, she wasn’t blind or deaf to her previous slip-ups either. V always made her feel loved, even if she didn’t say those words directly.

Judy never felt too comfortable with this mushy stuff. She could get absurdly sweet via other methods than talking – that was generally much easier than putting each other on the spot with loaded confessions. This was different, though. It needed to be said and it was high time for it to be out in the clear since both of them could scarcely hold it in anymore.

It felt much less scary than Judy first expected. Truth be told, she fell for the girl hard even before they got together. Laguna Bend really did put things into perspective; Judy planned it to be the last day in Night City, one final goodbye to the place, something she kept postponing forever just because she couldn’t find the right person to go down there with her. She’d confront the darkness and resurface as someone new; free, unshackled. But the merc had other plans and ruined it for her, pulling her back by giving her what Judy had been pining for.

But even back then she wanted more than just romantic commitment. She was willing to go into insane lengths for V and demanded, or hoped, that V would do the same for her. She knew she wanted too much too soon, but she threw herself into V’s world without a second thought, entering the fire that burned around the merc and holding her hand through it all with the intent of pulling her out once there was an exit in sight. It would be only fair if V was willing to do the same for her.

They spoke about leaving many times, and Judy was pleased to hear that V wanted to leave the city behind again, despite her getting burned in Atlanta. No matter how many times she promised it, though, a small voice in the back of Judy’s head kept doubting her. V thrived in this city, whether she liked it or not. Hell, she was a living legend by the time they left. Judy always feared she would do something stupid thanks to that cursed engram of hers, like blowing herself up at Arasaka Tower, just like the old rocker. Blaze of glory. What a waste…

But now…now they actually left the place behind. For good. V fulfilled that promise, even though the price she paid for it still haunted her. Just knowing this made Judy feel happier than she’s ever been, despite the shitty circumstances. No amount of sweet words could ever unite two people as much as bold actions of devotion.

While Judy was on cloud nine, humming and pestering Carol as they went back to work, V was panting as she breached into the command center, which was the big truck loaded with tech and ripper equipment. “Panam, holy fuck!”

The woman jumped in her seat, spilling her beer all over her jeans. “What the- did something happen?”

V took a moment to catch her breath. “I need help with something. It’s urgent.”

The chief was by her side in the blink of an eye, hands planted on her shoulders as she looked her over in fear. “You’re not feeling a seizure coming, right? You do look pale.”

V chuckled nervously. “No, I’m alright. Sorry, didn’t mean to worry you.”

“You ass, you scared me half to death!” She punched her shoulder and went back to her seat. “I swear, woman, one day you’re gonna be the death of me.” Still, there was no malice in her voice. “So, what’s up?”

“I need that building on the outskirts cleared, STAT. Until we leave town.”

Panam looked puzzled. “Why would you…”

V pulled her own chair and sat down in front of her. “Here’s the thing. I promised Judy a date before Mikoshi.”

“Ah. I see where this is going.” Panam grinned. “You wanna snog in private. God, V. You couldn’t keep it in your pants for even a day? Do you want me to drive you there for old time’s sake?”

“Shut it. If I wanna have a chance at preparing this in time, I gotta start now. Tell the couple occupying that spot to kindly fuck off. Also, I need a cake. You, uh, don’t have one of those around by any chance?”

Panam narrowed her eyes at her. “You want me to drag a bunch of teens out of their little hidey-hole for you? And sure, I got a cake in the fridge, just waiting for the right occasion.”

“Really?”

“No!” Panam rubbed at the wet stain on her jeans. “Fuck, now it looks like I pissed myself. Real nova, V.” She grabbed the beer and splashed some across V’s cargo pants, immediately feeling better about herself. “There we go. An eye for an eye.”

V wiped off the droplets that fell on her face. “Forget it, I’ll get it done myself.”

“Atta girl!” Panam raised her bottle. “Use protection, you crazy kids!”

The merc did her comical angry walk out and drove her car to the small shack. She approached the door cautiously, fearing she’d hear some weird noises inside. Who knew what teens were doing in their free time these days, other than…well…the obvious and drugs.

She knocked four times out of habit and had the door slam right in her face. A latino youth with a buzz cut opened the door, looking at her with hostility. “You that merc we hit Arasaka for? My dad broke his arm because you, cunt.”

V wiped the blood from under her nose. This little moron nearly broke it. “So sorry to hear that.” She spotted a young blonde panicking behind him as she looked for a shirt. “Listen, choom. I need this place for the night. I’m sure you and your girl could find a nice little spot literally anywhere else.”

“Why don’t _you_ go anywhere else, huh?” he asked, slamming one fist into his palm.

V had to laugh. This little fuckboy was trying to intimidate her with his little noodle arms, acting like hot shit. Hearing her laughter made him nervous and all that bravado went out the window.

“Sam? Who is that?” The girl finally joined them outside. God, she looked so young. Her lips were twice their normal size, teeth filled with fake gold.

“It’s that stupid merc.”

V finally composed herself and grabbed the guy’s arm, pulling him forward. When he lost balance, she put him into a choke hold, only applying minimal pressure to keep him in place. “Your ink is crap, by the way.” She looked down at the images of the Lady of the Holy Death. “No authentic Valentino would ever have a tattoo of Santa Muerte next to a naked chick bending over the hood of a car. Never heard of the sanctity they are so obsessed with? Really. You haven’t ever even set foot in Night City, have you?”

She released him, pushing him on the ground just in case he’d try to fight. The boy was too shaken to do that, though.

“Sam?” The girl eyed him with distaste. “You said you were with the Valentinos.”

“Seriously?” V hid her face in her palms, wondering what Jackie would have said about this little poser. “Listen, you’re barely growing facial hair. The Valentinos would sooner recruit a hooker from Jig Jig street than a kid. True, they can prepare you for the role, but they won’t give you tats, jobs, or guns until you turn into an adult. Now scatter, both of you. Won’t say it again.”

They scrambled like their lives were in danger.

“My father will hear about this!” the boy yelled over his shoulder.

V watched them go, hoping the youth would wise up one day. “I feel so old all of a sudden.” She wiped the rest of the blood off her face and walked into the small space, then immediately ran out . “Nope, nope, nope…not touchin’ any of that.”

But heck, this was for Judy.

After two hours of ardent cleaning and disinfecting, the place looked nice and cozy. V pulled the old mattress out and set fire to it, thinking it was for the best. She climbed back into Beast and returned to the camp, doing the impossible by trying to sneak away with a whole bed tied to the back of her pickup truck. It fell off twice on the short way to the shack. Thankfully, Judy was still at work and didn’t see her struggle with the task.

Next step: candles. Preferably scented. The nomad requisition person was – surprise , surprise – Dakota, who still didn’t forgive V for wrecking her tech.

“No.”

V pulled out a credit chip. “I’ll pay you ten times the price, just please… give me all the candles you have. My love life depends on it.”

The woman crossed her arms. “Money won’t buy you anything among the family, sister.”

“Then what do you want from me?” She was just about done with these people. “A foot massage? A new rig? Maybe a nice compliment? How about this? I like your shoes, Dakota. They look very nice.”

Both women looked down at the tacky cowboy boots. Dakota wasn’t so easy to bullshit, though. “Enough.” She produced a box from her truck and set it on a desk. “I can spare three unscented candles. That’s all you’re getting.”

V clapped her hands together. “Thank you! Wait, what’s the catch?”

The fixer pulled out each candle, carefully setting them aside. “The usual, kid. You do a job for me when the time is right.”

“I already owe you big time,” V reminded her. “I don’t know what you’re playing at, Dakota, but I hope you won’t demand the impossible from me, or put me on the spot. I ain’t fighting with Panam for some fucking candles.”

“Do you want them or not?”

V grabbed them and left, praying that the old Aldecaldo had a smidge of actual kindness for her somewhere in her heart.

Next step: some lights to set up the mood.

She didn’t expect to get them without a fight at this point, but she wasn’t prepared for the open death stares from the oldest Aldecaldo in the family.

“Like hell you’re pulling my fairy lights down!” The man yelled angrily. “I’ve had these lights for fifteen years and ain’t no city brat takin’ them away from me. No, sir.”

“This city brat will _return_ them in top shape. You won’t need them anyway, the whole place will be lit up at night.”

“Fuck you! My lights stay where they are!”

 _I’m about to throw hands with an eighty-year-old,_ V thought. _Well,_ she rolled up her sleeve, _first time for everything_.

Reading between the lines, the old man put up both of his shaky fists. “Do your worst, punk!”

“Robert, right?” V rolled up her second sleeve, taking her time. “Is there a misses somewhere in that RV of yours? Wouldn’t wanna make her cry.”

Bunch of Aldecaldos stared at them openly, but no one stepped in.

“Ain’t no misses. Been alone for sixty years, I don’t need me a woman. En garde!” He punched her side, since that was all he could reach from his wheelchair. The spot was still healing from Smasher’s gunshot and it took immense amount of control not to keel to the ground.

“Well, I do, though.” V straightened up, blocking the second angry punch. He had surprising strength. She stepped back, forcing him to pause and push himself forward. “And I know those fairy lights of yours would make her real happy. Except, hey, you wouldn’t know anything about that, would you?” She kept backing away from him and dancing just out of reach. “Don’t mean to drag you, old man, just stating the facts. Maybe if you had a misses, you wouldn’t be so damn grumpy all the time.”

The old man was winded, barely able to move. She came up to him, asking those who stood around for a can of water. He accepted it reluctantly and let V take him back to his RV. She knelt by his side, whispering so others wouldn’t hear, “You’re not very popular, are you? Don’t make that face, it’s fine, I actually sympathize. Few moments ago I was threatened by an angry teen and a shady fixer. You lot really don’t like outsiders much.”

He still refused to talk. And no one bothered to step in, despite not knowing what was happening anymore. It was kinda heart-breaking.

“Let’s make a deal, then. I’ll borrow the lights, and you can ask for a boon of your choice; from one outcast to another. What do you say?”

The old man pushed her and made her fall on her ass. He chuckled victoriously, delighted by her angry glare. “I win! Knocked you down, you asshole! Who the fuck fights an old man?”

“I didn’t fight you, I merely antagonized you. Big difference.”

“Well, fuck it. At least now I can boast about it. Take the damn lights and come back sometime for a rematch. Now leave me alone.” He used his remaining strength to go inside of his RV and slam the door like a proper drama queen.

V picked herself up and climbed up on the roof of the vehicle to pull the lights from the tiny hooks that held them in place. Her stomping made Robert angry, but hell, once a deal was made, it should be respected, no? She still ran like hell from there just in case he’d change his mind.

Final step: cake. Technically, their date also lacked the actual movies, but V was certain that Judy wasn’t in the mood for that.

There had to be some variant of cake that could be made from synthetic egg replacements, right? No baking involved. It wasn’t like she even had time for baking anyway.

Lucy was smoking a cigarette in front of the vehicle the clan used as their food truck/kitchen. V asked about the cake and got an earful about how she missed lunch.

“Don’t worry, honey, I saved you some.” She slammed a pot down on the hot plate to reheat it for the latecomer. “I will make you a nice chocolate cake while you eat.”

V watched the pot as if the woman was boiling rats in it. “Well, I’m not really hungry, you should save that for—“

“You will eat it, or I swear to god…” Lucy slammed a cake pan against the counter, then boinked V over the head with it. What was essentially a teasing touch that barely hurt gave a dull ringing sound as if V’s skull was empty. “Ahem. Just be patient. It’s ready when it’s ready.”

V regretted her decision to involve the stupid cake. She kept turning around, fearing that Judy would catch her doing these things before everything was ready. Lucy was a chatty type. Within ten minutes she retold the tale of her childhood in Wisconsin in the most boring way possible, despite the fact that she was raised by a family of powerful netrunners. She never had the gift for that kind of a thing, so she ran off and joined several nomad clans, including the Bakkers, until eventually settling down for the Aldecaldos.

“Fascinating story,” V felt like her brain had been scooped out after having to sit through it all. “But uh, how is the cake doing?”

“First, you eat. You’re too skinny, you won’t last very long once we hit a shortage.” The woman put a plate of beans swimming in what looked like synthetic tomato sauce. Ash was floating in it, along with a strand of hair.

“I feel kinda queasy all of a sudden…”

“EAT.” Lucy leaned in and tried to feed her a spoonful of ash. The merc refused to open her mouth. “Oh for fuck’s sake, my kids were less problematic than you. Come on. Open up, or forget about the cake.”

V thought that perhaps it wasn’t as bad as being beaten up or cleaning after two horny teens. She let the woman feed her, swallowing the food before her taste buds could register what was going on.

Lucy grabbed another spoonful. “One for uncle Mitch…”

V sat through it all, secretly plotting murder. The woman seemed to have adopted her for some reason. Once the whole plate was cleared, V excused herself and ran off to throw it all up in a bush to avoid food poisoning. One vigorous tooth-brushing session later, she was sitting by the food truck, admiring the impressive chocolate cake and checking for ash or hair. It seemed okay.

“Thank you, Lucy.”

“You’re welcome, honey. Come back for dinner, okay?”

V would not be doing that.

She brought the cake to the shack and set up the lights and candles. She had to take a moment to calm herself down. The whole ordeal had her so exhausted that she wasn’t even sure if she could pull this off without breaking down, or falling asleep. And the cake was probably a biohazard, why did she even take it anyway?

She put some romantic tunes on and despaired some more when all that was available was either elevator music or straight up porn beats. She threw the radio through the opened window, thinking Johnny would be all over this. Fuck, he would never let her live this day down. She missed that bastard.

V climbed up into the car and drove back to the heart of the camp. By then it was nightfall already, the air was chilly and filled with the smell of whatever horrible thing Lucy cooked up for dinner. It smelled greasy.

She found Judy by Carol’s side. They sat behind a table, playing cards with Cassidy, Bob and Mitch. Judging by the number of chips Bob had piled before him, Judy was losing big time.

“This how you spend your hard-earned eddies, Jude?” V teased, looking her over. Her hair was a bit wet and her nose was adorably pink from the cold. Wait, did they fix the water in the houses? Were the showers running? Shit.

“There you are.” Judy reached out and took her hand, pulling her into her lap. “Was lookin’ all over for you. Wanna tell me why the bed is missing?”

V put her arm around Judy’s neck, smiling coyly. “A wizard did it.”

“Mhm.”

Carol cleared her throat. “I heard something very interesting about Robert earlier.”

V made a cutting motion across her throat when she was certain Judy was busy laying down her cards. Carol showed her the middle finger, but kept her mouth shut.

“Who’s Robert?” Judy asked, adorably oblivious. V wanted to kiss her so bad.

“An old, grumpy guy. He hates everyone and in turn everyone hates him. Gets real cranky when he doesn’t get his medicine,” Mitch made a circling motion near his temple. “Threw a molotov into my tent once. Toasted my goddamn toes and never even apologized for it.”

The chat continued and the nomads momentarily forgot about the two lesbians gazing at each other like they were magnificent works of art. The tension between them reached a high peak when Judy touched V’s knee and moved higher to squeeze her thigh.

V jumped off her lap and ran off without a word. Judy wanted to follow, but knew it was a bad idea. When V got this weird, the best action was inaction – just let her do whatever she needed to do.

The merc came back twenty minutes later with her hair dripping wet. It would have taken less than that if she didn’t need to redress her damn bandages. “Alright, Jude, I’m ready.” She reached her hand out invitingly and was pleased to have the girl grab it without hesitation. She pulled her up and started walking to their car.

“Where are we goin’? Could’ve told me about the shower thing,” the techie scolded her as they got inside. “Was worried I scared you off.”

“What? By trying to seduce me?” Out of all the ridiculous shit she heard today, this was probably the most nonsensical thing for sure. “Jude, that’s never gonna happen. I lo-goddamn it, I love it when you do that. Seducing me, I mean.”

Judy’s ears perked up. “Were you really gonna say that?”

V gripped the wheel tighter and accelerated. _Not here, not now. Didn’t set it all up just so I could say it in a fucking race car._ “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“Jeez, V. We already made that step earlier, can’t we just—“

“No. Please,” V’s voice came out strained. “Just wait a little longer.”

They stopped at the shack and V ran off to start the generator. The place lit up. V took Judy’s hand and led her inside.

The bed was in the middle of the small room with a red blanket thrown over the old mattress. Candles burned on the coffee table and fairy lights hung over their heads. A delicious-looking chocolate cake with a tiny heart drawn on it sat there, waiting to be shared.

Judy took it all in, smiling from ear to ear. “Now I see what you’ve been up to the whole day. Could’ve told me, I would have helped.”

“Wanted this to be a surprise.” V pulled her down on the bed and took her hand. “I’m so sorry for running away from it for this long, I just kept thinking…” She stroke the skin on Judy’s slender wrist, biting down on the words that would definitely kill the mood. “I don’t wanna mess this up.”

“You can’t, V.” Judy cupped her cheek. “You’d have to do something extremely stupid to ruin this.”

“Like not saying what’s on my mind day and night?” V leaned into the touch. “You deserve more than that.”

Unable to take it anymore, Judy pressed her forehead against the merc’s and squeezed her hand reassuringly. “I love you, you gonk. I know you care, and I know that you’re scared, but please don’t hold back because of that fear. We’ll make this work.” She kissed her then, slow and sensual. It should have felt different somehow; intense, like some kind of a storybook kiss that could break the vilest of curses, yet it was oddly similar to those first kisses they shared in the cabin near the dam. It felt like a touch that has been forbidden for far too long.

They pulled away and gazed at each other longingly, both amazed that they had this after all the shit they’ve been through.

V realized that her plans were kinda sorta ruined with Judy spitting it out first. She stood up and started pacing angrily. “Why did you do that?” She finally stopped and pointed an accusatory finger at the techie. “You knew I planned this and you beat me to it.” She started laughing at the absurdity of it all, sinking down to her knees at the foot of the bed. “Fuck, even now I’m lagging behind. Okay, lemme just. Ahem.” She took Judy’s hand again, looking up at her like a devotee at the altar. “I had a whole speech planned out, but I can’t remember after those kisses.” She pressed her lips to the tattoo on the back of Judy’s hand. “I love you, Jude. I felt it for so long…Damn it feels good to finally say that.” She smiled up at her, seeing how Judy’s eyes watered a little bit, shining with so much adoration that V wished she could have captured that moment forever. “I love you.”

Judy pulled her up, gently laying her down on the bed. “Never even dreamed someone would get mad at me for saying ‘I love you’ first.” She pulled V’s shirt off, then her pants. “You have some gall.”

“You still like me, right?”

“The jury’s still out on that one.”

V’s hands quickly got to work too, and soon they were both naked, soaking each other in as their hands glided up and down the exposed skin. V kissed a path up Judy’s chest while tracing heart patterns on the techie’s lower back with her fingers. 

Lips and tongue mapped every inch of skin, every touch aimed to savor, eliciting goosebumps and moans. They didn’t talk past that little exchange, instead communicating through a heated battle of absolute, sensual bliss. And underneath it all was fragile, but undeniable happiness. It swelled in Judy’s chest as she toyed with V’s ruffled hair as they were drifting off to sleep, knowing that this was perhaps the first time that a new stage of her life didn’t start in a shadow of doubts, greed, gangs, or betrayal. It started under the desert sun, with a lover who would walk to hell and back for her, in a family she was slowly starting to care for. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Judy: I bread you.  
> V: *internal pterodactyl noises*
> 
> Hope you enjoyed it, I'll introduce more characters as I go along.


	3. Stir-Crazy

V got back to camp, smiling dreamily like an idiot. The only regret she had about last night was ever involving that stupid cake since it ended up being ignored (which was probably for the best). All cakes were lies anyway.

Panam was on her the moment she appeared, looking at her in disapproval.

“You fought a disabled old man for fairy lights?!”

V finally snapped out of her daydreaming. “What? No. I just made a deal with him while he tried to punch me to death. If anything, you should be mad at him.”

Panam dragged her into her tent and forced her to sit down on the bed while she made them coffee. “Look, you’re here only a couple days and I’m already hearin’ shit about how you shake up teens and antagonize the elderly. Feel like I’m a school dean and the counselor in one.”

V was used to doing so much worse when the situation called for it. Someone refuses to talk? You gotta get creative. There was no need for physical torture, but taking that step towards it loosened the tongues quicker than pleading or bribing.

She took the coffee cup, resolute to take it whichever way Panam made it for her. “I’m not a model citizen. Or well, a _nomad_ for that matter.” The word still felt odd.

“Me neither,” Panam sighed and sat down next to her. “Sometimes I wonder how I even keep these heathens in line. The kids are the worst, though. They don’t listen to their parents, so getting them to listen to me is impossible, and you know how I get when my patience runs out.”

“Yeah, you can be pretty scary sometimes.” Poor kiddos.

“Says the cold-hearted merc.” Panam clinked their cups together. “Well, we’re stuck with each other. Here’s to being _model_ nomads!”

V raised her cup and took a mouthful of the foamy stuff. Then another, and another until the cup was half-empty. She looked over at Panam with guilt shining in her eyes as if the senior nomad had to pay an arm and a leg for this amazing brew. “You…is this from your personal stash?”

“Of course. Being the chief has its perks. And being the chief’s second-in-command definitely helps up the quality of life, too.” She smiled, wiping the foam off the corner of V’s mouth.

Clearing her throat, V chose to focus on something else than the gentle touch. “Second-in-command, eh? Don’t remember agreeing to that.”

“That’s because I’m telling you now. And you technically can’t say no, because, fuck V, I need your help with this circus. Judy’s too. I hear she has already been busy with repairs.” She gulped down the rest of her coffee and put the cup on the desk. “So? Can I count on you?”

“Of course you can,” V agreed, bumping their shoulders together. “What’s the plan for the rest of the week?”

Panam filled her in on how they’d move south-east to hide for a bit in what used to be a national wildlife refuge. Corpos were on their tail, and the nomads needed a more solid fighting ground to shake them off. It would be tough, but they were ready. Then they’d hurry to the next closest town to resupply and move on to Tucson.

“Don’t wanna waste too much time playing tag with our pursuers. I know Alt said six months, but we don’t need to wait until it gets critical.”

“Don’t rush it, Panam.” V put the cup away and walked to the flap of the tent. “Family first, yeah? I’ll be fine.”

Hurrying out before the discussion could turn sour, V returned to the tent she shared with Judy and found a shard set on the desk. She ran it through a thorough malware check before she slotted it into her head and stared blankly at the short message.

_GET OUT OF MY CLAN._

She threw the shard in the waste basket and walked out to inspect the nomads. The kid from yesterday was smoking while perched on his dad’s car, shyly avoiding eye contact. Nope, couldn’t have been him. Old Robert would have no problem saying it to her face, so not him either. The girl with fake gold teeth didn’t give a rat’s ass about V, and Lucy was now her adoptive mother. Whoever left the shard had to be someone else. Or maybe it was Carol pulling a prank.

Since Panam had no real work for her yet, V tried to be useful however she could. She put the lights back on for Robert, cleaned the kitchen for Luce, and went to ask Dakota and Carol about doing netrunner jobs in the nomad mainframe. Naturally, she was shut down.

 _I’m fucking useless to these people,_ she thought as she squatted on the ground, watching the family go through their daily routines. She missed Judy. She even missed Johnny. At least he would provide fun commentary about the terrible yoga class happening not far from her. It was led by a nomad who kind of reminded her of Misty – her name was Sabrina, she was a woman in her forties who believed in higher powers and did divination for fun. She sported heavy spectacles and had no tech on her, as far as V could tell.

Out of pure curiosity and boredom, she joined the yoga class and someone was even kind enough to lend her a yoga mat.

“Release your inner tensions,” their teacher commanded as they sat cross-legged on their mats, breathing in deep.

V let out a primal scream and acted offended when the yoga moms looked at her funny. “What? You said release your tensions. I got a lot of that to spare.”

After a brief moment of deliberation, Sabrina tilted her head back to scream as well. More nomads joined into the cacophony, attracting far too much attention, but at the end of the session each of them left with a relieved smile.

“Interesting approach,” the spectacled woman said once they were alone. “Funny, it never occurred to me to scream. Would you like to come to my tent for a cup of tea?”

Well, why the hell not?

Her tent smelled of dried herbs and was pleasantly decorated with vibrant colors. They sat on the floor as Sabrina poured them tea and V looked around, noticing a stack of paperbacks.

“You’re free to take a look, dear.” Sabrina gestured towards the books. “Why don’t you tell me what’s troubling you? It will stay between us, I promise.”

V went through her impressive collection as she spoke. “I’m not really interested in a therapy session – no offense. I would like to hear your opinion on death, though. Cheerful topic, I know, but as you might have heard already, I’m dying. Got six months, maybe a little more if I get lucky. I would love to spend that time just doin’ whatever the hell I never dared to do before, but something is holding me back. Let’s pretend you’re in my shoes right now. What would you do with that time?”

Sabrina calmly offered her a stress ball with a pitying look on her face. V took it, unsure of how to respond.

“Your burden is truly enlightening.”

“Huh?”

“It’s until we are backed against the wall that we truly wake up to our full potential.” She looked down at V’s hand. “Squeeze the ball. It’s good for your nerves.”

The merc reluctantly did as she was told and cringed at the awkward squishy sound in that complete silence. It was nice, though. Before she could stop herself, the tent was filled with the sound of aggressive squishing.

“Let’s see…if I were you, I would simply focus on what impact I can have on those around me rather than focusing on myself. You will always be disappointed, my dear. Every sweet treat eventually turns bitter and distant when it becomes a memory. Ah, I see you found Aristotle. I knew I liked you for a reason, Valerie.”

The ball fell down to the floor of the tent. “What did you say?”

Sabrina looked at her funny as if she didn’t understand her. “What? You can have Aristotle, he is my favorite. Wait, did I say something else?”

V sniffed the tea and scanned it just in case. Well, she didn’t need drugs to actually see or hear weird shit. She collected the book and excused herself, thanking her profusely.

After dealing with that, she decided to pester Judy. She entered the opened tent and found her output sitting in a chair, poking around a dismantled engine.

“Juuuddyyy!” V approached the chair from behind and wrapped her arms around her girl. “Pay attention to me.”

The techie chuckled and put her gear away. “God, you’re like a needy cat. See the irony here, _kitten_?” She patted her legs and V made herself comfortable in her lap, smiling victoriously. “What’s up? Did you hear yelling earlier or was I trippin’?”

V nuzzled into her neck, sighing contently. “Think you were tripping, love.”

Judy caressed the merc’s back. “Pretty sure you were behind it now. Spill.”

V told her about the yoga class. What happened in the tent wasn’t really something she wanted to explore, however. She wasn’t even sure how to approach such a subject, especially when Judy still didn’t know about her birth name.

“So you’re going a bit stir-crazy here, huh?”

“You have no idea,” V admitted, tracing the tattoo bellow Judy’s collarbone with her finger. “If it was just us on the road, it would be so fucking different. We could go wherever we wanted, do whatever we pleased. Find some real cakes, for starters.” Judy chuckled at that. “Oh, and by the way. Did you see someone sneaking around our tent earlier?”

“No, why?”

“Someone funny is trying to bully me into leaving the clan,” V could barely say that in a serious manner. Judy on the other hand didn’t find it funny at all.

“You mean someone’s been threatening you? Alright, here’s what we’re gonna do. I’m gonna install motion sensors near the tent and hook it up to a spy cam. Then we’ll catch the damn gonk and pull them behind our truck next time we’re on the move.”

V patted Judy’s cheek. “Honey. My dear. What if it’s an old lady? I might have been accidentally responsible for her husband’s death and now she is itching for revenge.”

“Do I look like I care?” Judy scoffed. “Anyone who has a problem with you has a problem with _me_.” After making sure that her point got across, she pulled V closer for a kiss.

“Gross, you’re at it again,” Carol said as she entered the tent. “Do me a favor and get a room. Or send a request to Panam to have your own separate workstation, thank you very much.”

Judy toyed with V’s shirt, a devious grin forming on her lips. “Maybe I should do that…”

“Alright, V. Out. You are distracting my colleague, and I have to put that engine back before nightfall. Scat.” The veteran made a shooing motion as if she was trying to scare off an annoying pigeon.

The merc blinked at her dumbly and nuzzled back into Judy’s neck, making her girlfriend laugh and hug her close. “Dunno, I like it here.”

Carol took a spray bottle and got both girls in the face with it. “Out.” After more spraying, V gave up for Judy’s sake and left the tent.

“So, this is what you do all day, huh?” she asked as she lay on the floor of the command center few minutes after Carol kicked her out of the nerd station. “Sit around and play games on your phone?” She looked up at Panam who was tapping at the display of her cell as if it owed her money.

“Oh, shut it, V. I have so much work sometimes I can’t stop until I’m beat and drop right into bed.” She put the game away and rested her head on her palm, looking down at her friend with amusement. “You’re such a weirdo, you know that? Never had Saul lose his mind like that when he was left idle for too long.”

“Does Sabrina have any optic enhancements?”

“Pfff, you do know why people used to wear glasses, right? She’s totally blind without them. No tech on that girl, she’s a bloody technophobe. Why?”

“She just said something weird. Would have made sense if she had a scanner.” V picked herself up and pushed Panam out of her chair.

“Hey!”

“Come on, we’re getting wasted tonight. Race you to the bar!” V ran off without even knowing where the bar truck was parked. Panam caught up with her in no time, nearly tackling her and shepherding her towards their destination.

They cracked open their first bottle and clinked it together for a short toast.

“To… whatever, honestly, I am too tired to think.” Panam said, raising the bottle to her lips, emptying a good half of it in one go.

“To whatever, then,” V shrugged and chose to drink like a normal person. “Can I say something?”

“I don’t want you to.”

“Okay,” V made a carefree grimace. “Sure. We can just sit here in complete silence and I’ll watch you do your throat acrobatics like it’s a circus performance. Go you, Panam. You perverted alcoholic.” The dreadlocked nomad was caught off guard and had to put her bottle down. “Twelve-step program, who? Never heard of her.”

Panam flicked the beer cap directly into V’s face and it bounced off her forehead. The merc touched the hurt spot like it was bleeding and now she had a massive concussion. “I’m seein’ double all of a sudden.”

“Uh-huh. What did you wanna say?”

“There’s something I’ve noticed you people do. I keep finding socks everywhere I turn- on the tables where you eat, fuckin’ hanging from a bush like it’s a tacky Christmas tree decor, or just randomly lying around on the hoods of your cars. I saw more naked ankles in my time here than a Victorian gentleman in his entire lifetime.”

Panam acted like it was totally normal. “And?”

“What do you mean, _and_?” V was incredulous. “It’s gross, and my output started doing it too! Now she’s missing a sock from one pair and guess who has to suffer the consequences for that huh? Me.” The other woman chuckled. “Funny, huh? I like my socks, okay. I bought expensive pairs and now she’s gonna be wearin’ them around, filling them up with sand and then drying them on our car like a savage.” V had to pause and take a mouthful of her drink. “Unbelievable. You know I can get behind the food rationing and stuff, but this is a direct hit on my personal well-being.”

“Oh my god, V. You’re a hygiene freak?” Panam laughed long and hard. “You’re not gonna last long here. Buuut…I could definitely use someone as passionately concerned about our surroundings as you to clean up the camp. Regularly. I’ll give you a mask, some rubber gloves and a cute little apron, it will be great.”

“Fuck off.”

“Listen, if you managed to find the many –and let’s be real, probably _stolen_ \- missing socks around the camp, people would instantly like you. That’s how you win over a nomad.”

“Like a little house elf?” V snorted. “Adorable.”

“I would totally skip second base for a good sock detective,” Panam said with a dramatic, dreamy look on her face. “The hero we don’t deserve, but the hero we all need.”

The merc nervously looked at her beer to avoid eye contact. “And you want me doin’ that?”

“Sure! Minus the second base skipping.” Panam could see the visible signs of relief on her fellow nomad’s face. “I would straight up marry you.”

V dropped her bottle and Panam caught it in mid-flight, casually putting it back on the bar. “Kidding, kidding. I’m just messing with you, don’t worry. My missing sock is red with white polka dots on it, by the way. Find it, and I will reward you with riches and boons.”

The woman sure loved to mess with her. V was used to the ceaseless teasing and playful shoving, but these jokes would give her a heart attack one day.

“Alright, V.” Panam drummed her fingers against the bar. “Let’s play truth or dare. I know it’s elementary school bullshit, but I’m bored. Drink up, I need you properly buzzed for this if I want to make you do questionable things for my amusement.”

V paused and debated her options. A very riveting book awaited her in her tent. She could spend the night with Aristotle ( _teach me about rhetoric, mister Greek man_ ), or keep staring at nothing at the command center. There really was no other option, was there?

“Fine, but I will go first.” What to do, what to do… “Truth or dare?”

“Truth, I’m not drunk yet.”

“Why did you lie to me about the basics when we first made camp? I was scared someone would tackle me for pouring myself a cup of water to brush my teeth with.”

“Ah, you’ll get over it.” Panam waved her hand dismissively. “Consider it a mandatory scare that everyone goes through when they first join. But if there’s a shortage, the horror story becomes true. Sorry, girl. My turn. Truth or dare, V?”

“Gimme the truth.”

“How do you people do it?” Panam made a scissoring motion with her fingers and V spat out her beer. “Like, do you even feel anything, or is that just getting off of the intent?”

For a moment, V thought she misunderstood. She wished to ignore the question altogether, but the woman’s stubborn interest was hard to deny. “One word: angles.”

“What?” Panam wasn’t buying it. “Well, that’s still rather obscure, but whatever. Shoot me with your question, and yes, I will pick truth again. I’m only on my third beer.”

Well, two can play the game. V gestured something poking through a hole. “This ever got you going? Like all the way?”

Panam pursed her lips into something closely resembling an angry pout. “Are you mocking me for liking dick right now? Hey, I asked you a scientific question, I wasn’t mocking—oh stop laughing, this is serious.”

“So did you, or did you not?”

“I don’t know?” Panam shrugged in frustration. “I think so? Oh I got you now. Pick dare, V. Chief’s orders.”

V shook her head drunkenly. “You want to dare me into a dare to dare me to streak and make a fool out of myself? I dare say…no.”

“Okay, you’re with me on the panzer for the rest of the way to Tucson.” V whined and face-planted into the bar. “And you’re on a strict Kibble diet from now on. I will be monitoring you, young lady.”

“Ask me anything instead. Ain’t doin’ dares for you.”

“Aw come on, what are you, chicken?” Panam taunted her like the devil tempting a nun to sin. “I won’t make you streak, I promise.”

After some more whining, drinking and grumbling, V agreed.

Big mistake.

She had to shuffle all the way to the engineering tent that was restricted for the military vehicles like the panzer. Mitch gawked at her as she began to climb the tank, nearly dragging her face along the metal as she made her slow way up. Whatever the nomads were drinking, it couldn’t have been regular beer. It occurred to her that maybe the residue from the meds she took in the morning could have played a role here, but she was too far gone to care.

“V? The girl’s powered down, won’t respond to commands.” And for that matter, neither did V. “Did you fall asleep?”

She whipped out a pink marker and began drawing dicks. Mitch didn’t intervene, even though she secretly wished him to stop her from this act of vandalism. She drew a stick figure with her name written above it, screaming in fear as her dot eyes watched the dicks flop around her. Without a word, she slid down the tank like a sloth falling from a tree, picked herself up, and wobbled away.

Panam was waiting for her nearby. She applauded her and shook her head, sniffling. “Beautiful. There’s so many layers, I can just mmmwah.” She gestured a chef’s kiss. “I love the central metaphor.”

“Why is it always dicks?” V complained, thinking back at the time she found a questionable sticker on her Porsche. “They keep creepin’ up on me, man. Hey, Panam. I’m getting more dicks than you.”

Panam dropped the charade and pushed her. “That’s fuckin’ rude!”

Tripping over her own feet, V landed on her ass and decided that this was a sign from god. This would be the place where she would sleep tonight. She curled up on the ground, ignoring the insects buzzing around her head.

The chief realized that she was in no state to carry her all the way back to the heart of the camp. “Ah, shit. Mitch! Hey! Don’t ignore me, choom!” The man put on headphones and pretended he was alone.

“Okay, V. Stand up. Coyotes pee on that ground, you know.” She knelt down and shook the merc’s shoulder, thinking she was just being dramatic. Well, she wasn’t. Not this time around. Just in case, Panam checked her pulse and sighed in relief. How would she explain this to Judy if she was the cause of V’s untimely death? And god, what a way to go. What legacy she would be leaving behind as her final message…

Panam took her by the hands and began dragging her, only realizing how it looked like once they reached the first houses. She scooped the girl up into her arms by hugging her hips and dragging her that way, staying in the shadows as if the NCPD were on her ass for committing murder.

What if Judy was already in their tent, though? Scratch that, what if Judy was _waiting_ there for her? She didn’t know V’s output well enough to just dump the unconscious woman into her lap and wish her goodnight without it making her look all kinds of shady. A bad influence to be sure. And if she saw the panzer…

Well, no helping it, the body had to be stashed in her tent for the night. But then again, wouldn’t that look even weirder? Judy would still come looking for her.

“V?” She tried tickling her side and even gave her cheeks a gentle slap, but the woman simply shut down. Shit, now she was beginning to worry.

She dragged her over to the ripperdoc, sneaking from building to building until she found the man’s chosen abode. She knocked loudly while supporting the seemingly lifeless form with her free arm.

“Open up or I swear to god…”

The man appeared at the door, mildly annoyed. When he saw V, he moved aside to make room for them. “Put her on the couch, please.”

She put her there and began pacing around as the man checked her vitals and ran several diagnostics. The door slammed open and Judy walked in, pale and wide-eyed. “Oh, thank fuck.” She collapsed by her side, helplessly grabbing at her hand.

“No need to worry, she is just sleeping. The meds and exhaustion got the better of her,” the ripper said patiently, even though it was obvious he was eager for them to leave since it was not an emergency. “The residue from the meds I gave her triggered a flood of melatonin in her system when she induced alcohol. She will be fine.”

Both women relaxed and instead chose to aim their frustration at the sleeping gonk. “Did she know about the side effects? Or is she dumb enough to go drink herself stupid when she is still on the meds?” Judy couldn’t believe she’d be so careless.

The ripper gave her an airhypo. “Use it if there are complications. I know I said she should be fine, but in her condition…”

Panam bit her lip and stepped up. “Sorry, Judy. I guess it’s my fault, too. I didn’t realize a few beers would do that to her. We just wanted to unwind a little—“

“And now she’s unresponsive. Great job, _boss_.” Judy refused to look the woman in the eye. “Just help me get her into our tent.”

Panam took her hands and Judy took a hold of her legs. They got her out of the house and waited for the ripper to bring out the stretcher. As they stood there, Panam knelt down beside the merc.

“I feel awful. I don’t know, just seeing her like this scares the crap out of me - and this is just a result of us foolin’ around like a bunch of teens.”

Judy sat down on the ground next to her, tucking V’s hair behind her ear. “She’s not even snoring, that’s why. She got like this when she came home after a whole day’s worth of fighting. Out like a light, couldn’t wake her up even if I tried.” She produced a cigarette out of her pocket and lit it. “Sorry I chewed you out like that, I know she was bored and I wasn’t there for her. In a way, I’m more responsible for this than you.”

“Cut the shit, you two are more solid than all the couples in the family.” Panam looked over at the green tents around them. “Staying close together day and night makes some of them…distant. You’re experiencing the exact opposite for now.”

“If Carol handled having her with me all day I would happily let ‘er stick around, put her to work. Hell, even teach her if she was willing,” Judy said, puffing on her cigarette before flicking it away. “Since we got here she has been constantly tryin’ to make me feel better, and all I do is push her away.”

They got the stretcher and carried the merc into Judy’s tent, laying her down on the bed.

“I’ll take care of her from here,” Judy said to the chief, already fearing this would be a sleepless night.

Panam nodded. “Alright, but call me if you need me, okay? Get some rest. And tomorrow we can teach the gonk a lesson about how to sit still.”

Judy smirked. “Think I got a few ideas. But afterwards we find her something to do and keep an eye on her.”

“You mean you wanna take turns babysitting?” She looked down at the calmly sleeping woman. “I don’t know man, she’s a handful. Think I prefer her this way.”

Judy definitely understood where she was coming from. Panam patted her shoulder and wished her goodnight, leaving her and V alone. Judy sat down beside her and listened to her breathing before curling up next to the solo, thanking the stars that they didn’t have to deal with any serious health issues yet. She’d save her before it could go that far, though. She had to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally turned V into a Levi. Poor clean freak is gonna lose it with these savages.
> 
> Also, no, there will not be a poly relationship between Panam/V/Judy, but that will not stop me from making them a little gay for each other. Did I mention there will be drama?


	4. The Fool

She felt like she was suffocating as they drove through the desert. Not because of the heat, but because of the persistent, passive-aggressive silence between her and Judy. V’s head was pincushion full of needles and she feared she’d puke every time they hit a bump. Despite having slept longer than usual, she was still only half-awake and couldn’t shake it off for hours.

Once the Aldecaldos broke quick camp for lunch, she went to take a walk around the place, kicking rocks and letting guilt eat away at her for giving Judy such a scare last night. Panam probably didn’t deserve it either, despite the panzer stunt (which was mercifully cleaned before anyone could see it).

Mitch went to collect her once the food was ready. “Luce made her special for you today,” he said. “A light veggie soup; trust me, it’s edible. She probably heard about the rumors saying that Panam tried to bury your body last night and concluded that she must have drank you under the table –which she technically did.”

“That sounds pretty great right now,” she said as she walked back with him. “Prolly the only act of kindness I’ll receive today.”

She picked a table that was unoccupied and free of socks, or grime. She ate her soup, carefully inspecting it for cigarette ash.

Noticing that she was sitting alone, Sabrina came to join her. “Hello, sister.” V only nodded her head as she ate. “Heard you nearly died last night.”

“No, I just took a really long nap,” V corrected her. “Ever used your divination skills to find out other people’s names? Like mine, for example. Try me.”

The woman scratched her cheek and watched V eat as if every little action could give her a clue. “Well, if I have to be honest, I never tried to use my talents this way. Your chakras are all…dark, so I would say… Vanessa?”

V chuckled in relief. “No, that ominous name does not belong to me. One more try?”

“Hm…I see you would make a good Vincent if you were a boy… Perhaps in another life…”

“Shame I’m not a boy, am I?”

“How can you know?”

V froze up and looked down at her crotch. As far as she knew no ripper has ever done her dirty like that, but she heard about cases of total memory wipes and unwanted transplants. “Pretty certain that I’m not a victim of implant swapping, Sabrina.”

“Then why have a trans flag on your car? I’m onto you.” She picked up her soup and left when she saw Panam and Cassidy approach.

“Hey, V. Feeling any better?” the chief asked, looking her over with concern as she sat down right next to the merc. “People are giving me looks like I tried to commit murder last night.”

V patted her hand briefly. “I’m okay, don’t worry. Will set people straight myself, your integrity as a leader will not be compromised on my account.”

“Ain’t the first time something like this happened,” Cassidy pointed out after slurping the soup directly from the bowl.

“Do tell.”

“Do _not_.” Panam pointed her finger at him. “We are not bringing up Scorpion’s drinking contest. Ever.“

“The way it happened, you'd think she drank the man into a coma,” Cassidy continued as if he hadn’t heard a single word Panam said. “Passed out in a pool of his own puke and our great leader started panicking because the ripper was out gettin' supplies.” He ignored the boot kicking him under the table. “So Saul finds out and gets pissed. The two of ‘em then perform a very amateur stomach pump procedure to save the guy, bickering like a married couple all the way through. The entire clan was certain Scorpion was done for.”

“Well, he wasn’t.” Panam folded her arms, sulking. “And I would never hurt V on purpose, you know that.”

“Whoa, hey, no one accused you of that!” V patted her hand some more, hopelessly trying to comfort her. “It was my fault, alright?”

“It sure was.”

They turned and saw Judy observing them with her hands on her hips, eyes focused on the touching limbs. “You done eating?” She gestured to the soup bowl, arching an eyebrow. V quickly slurped the rest of it and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, rushing to get to Judy’s side.

She guided her to a sunny spot at the outskirts of the small camp where a plastic chair awaited. Near it was a small table with a book on it. “Sit.”

V could see it for what it was – an obvious trap. Yet one look at the black circles under Judy’s eyes was enough to break the intended protests and she sank down on the chair with an air of fatal defeat of one sinking down to stick their head into a guillotine.

_Click!_

“Why am I not surprised?” V looked down at the black steel cuff around her wrist.

“You need to learn how to amuse yourself, so we can prevent last night from ever happenin’ again. It’s for your own good, calabacita.”

“Want me to write you an essay on what I read, too?”

Panam caught up with them, brandishing a yellow dunce cone with a plastic pom-pom at the top. “I had the kids make this for you.” She plopped the cap on top of the merc’s head, smiling in satisfaction. “It really suits you. Hopefully that will teach you not to mix medicine with alcohol.”

The two torturers looked their victim over, looming over her as if they hoped to see her struggle. V was too tired to bother, and she knew they would need to leave within an hour, so heck, what kind of a punishment was this anyway? Just sit around while everyone starts packing? Not bad at all.

Other than noticing their evident enjoyment, V realized that the two seemed to have bonded over their frustrations with her. This could only mean trouble in the future.

“I’ll go deal with the scouts. Only call if it’s an emergency,” Panam said and left.

“And I’ll be over there, holler if you need anything,” Judy pointed at the tent nearby where they parked Beast to hide her from the sun.

V played a sad violin on her phone, hoping that would bring her girl back, but Judy kept ignoring her attempts as she started air-blowing the sand from the car.

The book was as entertaining as writing about giving speeches could be, but V couldn’t really focus. She wanted Bug to read it to her, and then tease her about it. As the time dragged on, she found herself staring at nothing, one leg bouncing in a nervous tick she could not stop.

Being idle wasn’t as much of a problem as not being useful. She kept working alone for so long, there was never really a case where she found herself drifting thanks to her position in the community – since, hey, there was no community to begin with. Mercs always stayed out of each other’s way and only street cred and word-of-mouth ever mattered in moving up or down on every fixer’s list. She was damn good at solo work, there was no need to even pretend to be humble about it, yet out here? It meant nothing, for as long as no one besides Panam was willing to give her a chance.

Not having Johnny around was another problem that plagued her. Some time ago she would have called the quiet in her head a blessing. Now she felt more alone than ever.

She was parched. Jake came around to gave her some medicinal water that tasted like crap and made her want to vomit. First good meal she had in this clan, and it was being threatened. She definitely planned to keep it down. Despite the horrible taste, she thanked the man for even thinking of her, wondering if his kindness was an attempt to repay a debt for the kidney transplant, or if it was truly just a genuine way of expressing concern.

Well, there had to be something better available, she just needed someone to fetch it for her.

“Hey, kid,” she whispered to a little three-year-old girl playing nearby. “C’mere for a sec.”

The chubby-cheeked child thought she looked funny so she didn’t feel too scared to approach. She looked up at the pretty pom-pom at the top of V’s hat and giggled, one small hand shooting up in the air and making squeezing motions.

“Ah, yes. Sadly, I can’t let you have the hat. You see, I could get a sunburn without it.” And Panam would kill her. “What’s your name?”

The girl kept smiling at her, blubbering incoherently.

“Can’t talk yet?” Well, that was kinda suspicious. Most kids she knew had a small vocabulary by then. “But you do understand me, huh? See this bottle?” She shook the clear plastic container for emphasis and the kid nodded. “Well, it’s full of nasty things. You know what I mean?” She held it out away from her and made a face. “Ew.”

The girl laughed and shrunk away from the bottle too as if it could bite her.

“Yes, that’s right.”

Judy noticed the two and watched them intently with a small smile spreading across her face.

“I can’t drink this, but I’m reaaally thirsty and the mean ladies won’t let me have anything else. Can you find me something, please? Will give you a candy bar later, I promise.” She held out her pinky and cautiously hooked it around the child’s tiny finger.

The girl then ran off, leaving her alone. V sat back in her chair, certain that the attempt was futile. Ah well, at least she killed some time and someone actually bothered to ‘talk’ to her. Most nomads just laughed as they busied themselves with packing, amused by the wild tales of last night. The kids who made the cone gawked at her from the distance. They were lead by an older girl with black hair tied into two braids who had the look of a gang leader about her. The girl’s silent stare was kinda creepy. Luckily, the kids lost interest in her pretty quickly.

V closed her eyes and dozed off, only to wake up moments later when someone kept tugging at her pants. She looked down and saw the little girl from earlier. She had a small juice box in her hand. V thought she would cry.

“Oh my god, you’re an angel.”

But the girl didn’t give it to her. She was dead set on opening it for her by herself and she struggled with the plastic wrapping around the straw while making angry faces. V reached out, offering to help and the kid reluctantly let her rip it open with her teeth. She still gave the straw back for the kid to open the drink for her.

“Go on, pierce it. No, not there, the silver area right there,” V instructed, watching the sloth-like motions with more patience than she felt. “Imagine that box is a big baddie and you need to defeat it before it can hurt someone. That’s the attitude! Now, we know its weak spot, don’t we?” V tapped at the top of the box.

The kid let out a battle cry and punched a hole through the opening with her metaphorical spear. Then she gave it over to V like it was a sacred trophy.

A sudden flash of light blinded the merc for a split second and she looked up to find Judy smiling at the polaroid in her hand. “Yep, that’s a keeper.”

The kid ran off, giggling.

“Never expected you to be this good with kids,” the techie said as she showed V the picture of her accepting the juice box from her little savior. “First one for the collection. Not bad, right?”

V gave it back, smiling boyishly. “I think I taught her something that might have ruined her innocence. Can I get a kiss, please?” She tapped her cheek.

Judy gave it to her without protest. “Will let you out soon. Be good, mi amor.”

V watched her go, somehow feeling calmer than before. The leg bounce was gone and so was the thirst. Come to think of it, those juice boxes weren’t bad at all. Damn, kids get all the good stuff these days while adults drink their watered-down bean juice like junkies.

She gave the book a second try and sure enough, the words pulled her in and time slipped by in a blink of an eye.

A cough made her pause and look up from the yellowed pages. “Can I help you?”

They guy standing before her had a broken arm and a really unpleasant mean look about him. Funnily enough, one of his big arms was significantly smaller, as if the arm kept being broken repeatedly and weakened due to the lack of exercise. This opened him up for so many inappropriate jokes…

“V, the merc of the hour. The legend of Night City,” he said dramatically as if he was introducing her to a crowd. And there was one. A bunch of veterans circled them like vultures with Sam among them. “I thought we could finally chat, seeing that you’re not occupied at the moment with that hot chick of yours.”

Someone whistled suggestively. Knowing that these creeps were watching them made V want to short circuit their pea brains.

“Dad, just get it over with before the chief notices.” Sam nervously looked around.

“What, you aim to beat me up?” V didn’t bother to put her book down. “I’m still busy over here and I haven’t finished my juice. Come back later.”

The man laughed. “Please, I ain’t here to be that savage. Let’s be civil.” He spat into his hand and offered it to her, grinning confidently. “Nomad life ain’t pretty, so our social conducts should mirror that. Put ‘er there, champ.”

V maintained her unimpressed charade while secretly wondering where Judy disappeared to. She could either beat this guy’s ass and antagonize his entire little gang, or try to be diplomatic to avoid drama.

 _Doin’ this for you, Pan,_ she thought as she spat into her own free hand and grabbed the offered limb. The wet contact and the vice grip were everything but pleasant.

“Knew you had a brain in there somewhere,” he said, letting go and wiping his hand in her clean shirt. V’s eye twitched. Fucker had one more strike, then she’d stop caring about playing nice. “My boy told me you threatened him and influenced Xenia to break up with the poor lad. Couldn't keep that big mouth of yours shut, eh? That’s not very nice, especially comin’ from someone who is in a happy relationship. What would you say if I appeared at your tent while you and her were makin’ love and made you leave? And then maybe banged her myself?” He turned to regard his fellows and flash them a mean smirk.

His smile didn’t last long, though.

V put all her strength into one might kick, aiming straight for the guy’s balls. He toppled to the ground with an animalistic roar.

“I’ll get you for this!” His son went for the gun on his dad’s belt, but one of his friends pulled him back.

“Hey, man. Chill. We can’t kill her without getting the boot.”

The non-symmetrical hunk of muscle climbed up to his feet and grabbed V’s shirt, pulling her up and out of her chair. “You damn cunt. Can’t take a joke?”

The dunce cone titled backwards as V angled her head up and spat into the guy’s eyes. “Social conducts ain’t pretty, right?”

She was thrown to the ground, toppling over the plastic chair. Her injuries would never heal if everyone and their grandpa wished to physically hurt her. In a blink of an eye, the guy was on her, his fist pulled back and ready to strike, only stopping short when he felt the tip of her mantis blade touch his Adam’s apple.

The two stared at each other, knowing how it would end. Can’t beat the new kid without having the chief kicking your ass from the clan, but she could kill him and talk her way out of the harsh consequences because Panam listened to her. That’s the power of politics, baby.

“You and your goddamn nerve,” the man growled, fist shaking in anticipation. “My friends died during the raid. Nearly bit a bullet myself. All of us followed Saul because he knew what it meant to lead a family, while your little friend was willin’ to make her own people die for _you_. And we don’t give a rat’s ass about a walking corpse that doesn’t know it’s dead yet!” The fist flew in the air and got her in the chin, splitting her lip in the process.

V was fighting all of her impulses that told her to push the blade deep into the vulnerable flesh. Adrenaline flooded her system and she realized how much she missed it – how this was exactly what was absent from her everyday life.

“GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM HER, KYLO. NOW.”

The man was pulled off of her. Panam stood protectively in front of the merc, eyes ablaze with barely controlled anger. “You touch her one more time and I’m gonna break that arm of yours again, but I won’t stop until the bone is shattered into dust. What the fuck were you thinking?!”

The man brazenly held her gaze. “You’re playin’ favorites, chief.” He spat at her feet, cringing at the sound of guns being loaded in the background. “Your little plaything cost us too much. And for what? She is still gonna bite it sooner or later.”

Panam’s hand got the veteran square across his cheek, the slap leaving him dazed. “You shut your mouth, you hear? V is a part of this family and I will not tolerate any of you treating her, or Judy any different. And yes, we did get something out of it – look around you.” She pointed at the armored vehicles and plentiful supplies around them. “Used to be that we didn’t have enough tents or food for everyone in the family. We fought over scraps while Saul made deals with the corps, which got us nothing in return until we took it by force. After the ‘Saka raid, we got everything we needed and then some; our names are written in history books, Kylo. And more importantly, we got this gonk more time to live, which is - and always will be - worth more than a few war toys and eddies.”

V was stunned.

Mitch came forward, putting a hand on Panam’s shoulder. “What she said. You might not like it, choom, but nothing good ever comes without a little risk and sacrifice. Besides, we don’t believe it was all for nothin’.”

“We’ll find out once we reach Tucson,” Cassidy chirped in as he lowered his shotgun. “Until then you boys better behave yourselves.”

A plastic table thudded against Kylo’s head, making him turn and glare at the furious techie behind him. His eyes widened when she whipped out a gun at him. “I walk away for five. Fucking. Minutes.” Judy touched the gun’s side to activate the interface and Skippy greeted her with a smile.

“Good day. I appear to be kidnapped once more. Return me to my owner, please.”

“Stop yapping and lemme shoot!”

The Aldecaldos watched in shocked silence.

“I repeat: RETURN ME TO MY OWNER!”

Judy huffed in defeat and looked down at her beaten-up girlfriend. “How the fuck do you stand it?”

“Finally, some action,” Robert said when he wheeled himself into the fray. “Why did you stop? Come on, it took me forever to get here. Kill him!”

“Shut it, you bloodthirsty hyena,” Luce reprimanded him.

Panam turned her attention back to Kylo. “Any suggestions about what we should do with you and your associates? I’m all ears.”

“You can’t exile us, we’re in the middle of bumfuck nowhere!” Kylo looked over at Sam. “My son…consider his well-being, Panam. Saul would never—“

“Well, I am not Saul, am I?” Panam snapped. “You got one more chance. I better not see you anywhere near V for a good couple of days, got it?”

He agreed and waddled away quickly before anyone could pour more gasoline into the fire and make the situation escalate.

Judy helped V stand up and freed her from her prison. She threw the damn dunce cone to the ground and cupped her cheeks. “Goddamn it woman, why didn’t you fight back?”

V looked over at Panam and the chief understood. She smiled thankfully and joined them, patting V gently on the back.

“We really can’t leave you unsupervised, can we?”

“Thank you,” V said nervously. “For…what you all said. I appreciate it.”

“Shut the fuck up,” Panam waved her off and turned to leave. “Don’t get all mushy on me. Get your butts into your respectable vehicles, ladies and gents. We’re leavin’.”

They made camp in the evening and Judy made sure to cut her work hours short to spend more time with V. They sat outside of their tent, synced up to play a game of Connect Four on a single holographic interface invisible to everyone but them.

Judy covered the girl’s eyes and cheated, ending the game in a few seconds.

“Who the hell cheats at this game?” V protested once she freed herself. “I demand a rematch.”

Judy held her close, idly tracing patterns across V’s jacket. “And I demand we switch things up. Why do you wanna play these ancient games?”

“Because it’s domestic as fuck, and I want to be domestic with you.” V kissed her forehead. “And you can’t play for shit, it’s amusing.”

“Know what else is amusing?” Judy loaded up her photo gallery and picked a picture of V with her mouth full while she was holding a sandwich. She zoomed in on it and drew a mustache above her lip, adding a thick unibrow for good measure.

V made the picture disappear with a swiping motion of her hand and loaded her own picture of Judy with the woman passed out in her chair, legs prompted up on her desk. She was still wearing her BD wreath which cast a blue light across her face.

“When the hell did you get that?” The techie watched in horror as V enhanced the still, focusing on her opened mouth. “V, consider carefully what you draw in there.“

The solo quickly drew a long tongue poking out of her lips, dripping with drool. She added a set of cat ears and whiskers.

“Okay, my turn again.”

Judy found the still of V with Us Cracks and animated a pair of derpy eyes on her. She also swapped V’s clothes for a trash man’s jumpsuit (very similar to Mitch’s outfit) and put a mop in her hand. It looked like she photobombed the singers by accident.

V gave a slow clap. “I never looked better.” She found a pic of Rogue and loaded it up. “Do your worst.”

“Hm, dunno if I wanna mess with a fixer’s face. What if she finds our data cashes and orders a hit on us?”

V was already drawing, though. Rogue looked pretty good with an afro and raccoon eyes. Judy animated a pair of tiny hands rubbing together in front of her portrait.

“It still looks like she is plotting to kill us,” V remarked as she saved the pic.

Judy decided it would be cathartic to find a picture of Carol. The two gave the woman a mighty make-over, removing her glasses and touching some purple blush on her cheeks. V minimized her lips until they looked like they could eat small candy one at the time. Judy cropped her out of her surroundings and placed her near a window inside of a hotel room.

“Give her a spray bottle.”

“What do you think I’m doin’?”

She put the spray bottle in one hand and aimed it towards the window. The second hand wielded a pink dust cloth.

Something wasn’t quite right about that, so they got rid of the surroundings and put her on a poster, facing the camera directly. The spray bottle now aimed at the viewer and V wrote _Lesbian, be gone_ above her as a slogan. Judy turned the spray bottle into an actual product with the name _Holy Water 2077_ and its description said it could purge sinners from the plane of existence.

“What are you two giggling about?” The veteran caught them on her way to take a shower, looking at them skeptically.

“Nothing,” they both said in unison, sputtering behind their hands.

Carol threw her towel over her shoulder and called them idiots as she walked away. The masochist of a woman really didn’t seem to care about freezing to death in the night and was dead set on giving herself pneumonia. No other nomad even dared to shower at this hour.

Taking a break from the drawing, the two watched the stars. It was still strange to see them this clearly at night.

“When I found you lying on the ground all bloodied I almost had a heart attack,” Judy said quietly. “Don’t scare me like that, you hear?”

“Sorry, Judy. You do know that Skippy is locked into non-lethal combat, right?”

“Yeah, but I didn’t care at all. Wanted to bust a knee cap or two to make a point,” Judy admitted a bit coyly. “I know it was rash, it’s just…It reminds me of what happened to Evie. People kept doing shit to her, dragging her from one extreme to another, abusin’ her… I know you can take care of yourself, V, but you’re pulling your punches. I’d rather be exiled with you alive by my side than have you hurt trying to be nice so Panam doesn’t have to deal with drama. We won’t fit in that easy, V. Not with your rep.”

“Gee, thanks.”

“You know what I mean.”

“Yeah…”

A blood-soaked merc sitting atop a mountain of corpses won’t ever wash that blood off, no matter the cause behind it. She killed to protect those she cared about, killed for revenge, for money, hell, even for fame; not to mention all the deaths she has caused indirectly. Death walked in her shadow, whether she liked it or not. “Maybe I left too much chaos behind, Judy, and now it’s coming around to bite me in the ass.”

“Well, goin’ by that logic, I left a bunch of dissatisfied joytoys behind, too. And now that they won’t have it easy making their living scrollin' virtus for me, they might end up at Fingers’ clinic and—“

“Stop.” V kissed the corner of her mouth. “I get it. I’ll drop it. Shitty karma for both of us, though you're still an angel compared to me.”

“Perhaps. But know what?” V looked at her quizzically. “I don’t care. Can't solve every problem, even if you try your damn hardest. Sometimes, you just have to run away from it all. I just realized… I wanted Evelyn to come with me, but she would never get used to this life. She would leave eventually, go back to that sweet honey trap, and I wouldn’t be able to follow. Not anymore.”

V hugged her tighter. “Well, I’m not goin’ anywhere.” Judy smiled. “No matter who beats me up and threatens me. My home is right here with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I refuse to yield Skippy, the gun is staying with V. Fuck you, Regina.


	5. The Stranger

They got into the wildlife reserve and for a while the skirmish with Kylo has been forgotten. The generous amount of water all around them had lifted everyone’s spirits and showers were all the rage after a week’s worth of driving through the desert.

V had accidentally seen more naked men in that small period of time than she would have liked to. The nomads did not care – the men would never be denied the freedom of feeling the sun on the parts of their bodies that normally see none of it.

While V was cowering by the water truck wrapped up in a towel, trying to quietly sneak away from the men that appeared in tens, Judy later had the pleasure of being stuck showering right next to Luce, who kept telling her that she looked too thin and needed to change her diet.

After that, V spent her time flying one of the killer drones, scouting for enemies that kept creeping forward day by day. Arasaka did not give up that easy. As she sat in the command truck, she felt someone plop down into her lap and pluck the control shard out of her port.

V blinked a few times and was delighted to see Judy clad in boy shorts and her tank top. “Stealin’ my clothes again?”

“ _Our_ clothes,” Judy corrected her. “Was thinking you could fly that drone over the lake. Find us a spot for diving.”

V had no objections. She slotted the shard back in and flew the drone in the opposite direction, thinking one little setback didn’t hurt them when there were two other drones patrolling the area. While she was busy, Judy wrapped her arms around her neck and rested her chin on her shoulder for a short nap.

Panam entered the vehicle and immediately retreated in fear of intruding upon something more than just a cuddle.

“Found it,” V said after a while. “Leads into an underground cave…Wait.” She zoomed in on the lonely figure standing thigh-deep in the water, arms spread wide as his lips moved in what had to be a passionate song. “I think I found Jesus.”

“What?” Judy took the shard from her and looked for herself. The man was spinning around, splashing the water in absolute glee. “Eh…”

“Tell me I’m not going crazy. You saw him, right?”

Judy took the shard out and put it away. “He’s not one of ours, I would remember such impressive hair.”

“That’s what got your attention? The hair?” V wanted to mock her but she had to admit that he looked good. None of the nomads had the same rugged, but handsome aesthetic. “Well, I wanna have whatever he’s on. I’ll tell Panam, we can bring him in.”

Fast forward two hours later after a very short diving adventure, and the mysterious man was an honored guest in their clan. He had nothing on him besides his modest clothing and his only other possession was a guitar. The nomads were both enchanted by him and seriously suspicious. Most women were all over the guy while guys like Teddy and Robert were a moment away from chucking bottles at him for his constant singing.

Judy and V were neutral, despite being the ones who found him. He came up to them with a cheerful smile, shaking their hands and wishing them well.

“Didn’t catch your name,” V said despite her urge to just call him Lord.

“It’s Marco,” he said, bowing playfully. “And you are the sweet lady to whom I owe a debt of immense gratitude.” Judy’s danger senses were tingling.“If it had not been for you, I would be forced to dine alone tonight.”

“You don’t even have supplies with you, though,” The techie pointed out. “Where do you want to get your dinner from?”

“I eat what nature provides.” He shrugged. “Believe it or not, but there are actual fish in the lake. Pardon me, but I need to speak with your chief now. Hopefully we will speak with each other soon,” he smiled directly at V, taking one of her hands and planting a kiss on the back of it.

Judy was just about ready to give him a piece of her mind, but her irritation soon turned into amusement when she saw V rub her hand vigorously against her pants once the guy turned around.

“We saved a nice guy.” The merc then inspected the skin if she expected to see blisters.

“Some people fall in love with Jesus,” Judy teased in a singsong voice, “and some have Jesus fall in love with them.” V was horrified by that notion.

Judy noticed a small figure sneaking up on the merc from the back. V’s lifestyle honed her perception into a rather deadly, razor-sharp edge; there was no way in hell even a small girl could ever hope to catch her off guard like this. Nevertheless, the woman played oblivious as the kid bent down by her chair and left a juice box by her foot before she spun around and ran off in a small cloud of dust.

V smiled and raised the drink up, happy to see that the straw was already poking out of it. “Guess my lesson stuck,” she said proudly as she put the straw up to Judy’s lips to take the first sip.

As they sat on their blanket, munching on toasted marshmallows, there was a sudden movement as something big fell down onto the fabric. V paused mid-bite and looked around for the culprit who threw the damn spider at them. Judy poked the big thing with a stick to make sure it was dead, but as it turned out, it was pretty much alive. And prone to jumping.

Judy squealed and watched in amazement as V casually slapped the spider away mid-flight as it was going directly for the techie’s face. It rolled away and scrambled, burying half of its body in the sand.

She looked over at her girl, still a bit shaken. “Not a word, V.”

The merc was trying hard to suppress the laughter building up in her chest. Instead, she gave Judy a kiss on the tip of her nose and returned her attention back to her marshmallows as if nothing happened. Then she noticed the small note that wasn’t on the blanket before. The message was a bunch of letters snipped out of comic books saying:

_You ignored our warning. You have 10 hours to leave, or else_

A picture of a dead pig was drawn underneath in a pink marker. V showed the note to Judy, unbothered and even amused. “Looks like I’m gonna be assassinated tonight.”

“This has to be a kid’s work.” Judy frowned and looked around. “What kind of a sick little—“ Her eyes found the girl with braids watching them silently from the distance. She stood up and dusted her hands off on her shorts. “Alright, I’m gonna have a talk with the brat.”

“Jude, sit down.” V patted the blanket, looking at her with pleading puppy eyes. “You can’t fight with an eleven-year-old.”

“And you can do that to an old man for some tacky decor?” When she heard the hurt gasp that escaped V’s mouth, Judy knew she fucked up. “Sorry, calabacita, no, don’t –“

V put her hand over her heart, thinking this was the worst betrayal she has ever experienced in her entire life. “Mister Marco, yoohoo!” She stood up and waved at him. “I am now single and very eager to mingle!”

Judy wrapped her arms around her waist and started pulling her towards their tent. “Stop it, I didn’t mean it, V. Come on, I love you.” She kissed the shell of her ear and felt the girl’s protesting limbs slacken in her grasp. “Lemme show you.” She pulled her into the tent and backed her into the bed.

“Those lights are amazing,” V insisted stubbornly. “I got beaten up for them, Jude. It hurt,” she bitched while she watched her output undress. Even in such a short time, Judy has managed to get herself a nice tan.

“Told you I didn’t mean it.” Judy swaggered over to the sealed box she brought from home. “Watch this, V. I’m gonna rock those cute little socks off.” Her amused stare fell down on the skateboarding pug design on the mentioned footwear.

She pulled out the strap-on with the shard for the neural link. V felt both excited and terrified. “I see. I’m gonna die, aren’t I?” Last time she let her insert that shard her body experienced such intense pleasure that she couldn’t walk normal for days.

Judy smiled devilishly as she began undressing the merc. “I just wanna give you the best fuck of your life.”

“You’ve already achieved that. About the lights…”

“Shhh.” Judy kissed her and pulled the rest of her clothes off until the merc was naked and completely at her mercy.

“If you give me that shard I will be anything but quiet.”

Judy smiled upon hearing the excited quiver in V’s voice. As much as she liked to protest, she definitely enjoyed it last time. “I’ll keep you quiet.”

She set the toy into place and began grinding against it, enjoying V’s expert touches as her hands glided all over her body. Soon her mouth joined in, closing over a breast and Judy had to bite down on her lip to trap all the sounds that threatened to escape from her mouth. They could hear singing from outside and both stopped momentarily, wondering if this would be a distraction for them or the rest of the nomads.

As much as Judy disliked the idea of having sex to a soundtrack with lyrics that praised ancient tombs of Egypt and mushrooms eating corpses of lovers, she had to admit it was convenient for now.

She took the toy in and felt herself shiver in anticipation. V gently guided her up and down and soon she had a good pace going, kissing the merc like her life depended on it.

“Take the shard…” she said breathily as she pushed the solo onto her back.

“No.”

Stubborn gonk.

“I wanna see you enjoy yourself,” Judy bent down and hid her face in V’s neck. “What’s the point of me gettin’ off when you don’t get to feel it?” While the merc was busy listening to her sultry voice, she grabbed the shard. She pulled away just enough to watch the girl’s face as she pressed it teasingly against the skin next to the port.

“Ah, fuck.”

“Oh yeah.” Judy laughed and slotted it in. “For me? Please?”

As she waited for it to sync up, V nervously grabbed at the blanket under them. “Not hundred percent this time.”

“It won’t kill you.” Judy resumed her motions, dead set on maximizing V’s enjoyment. “There’s safeguards for that. Trust me. Let yourself go and lemme have it…” Her tongue flicked over V’s lower lip and she sealed her mouth just in time to capture a deep moan as the toy came alive.

The merc was a panting and whimpering mess in no time. Her hands were gripping the bed frame, hips bucking into and away from the damn warmth that kept on consuming her time and time again as she shuddered underneath the greedy woman. By the time they were done, both were sweat-slick and ready for another shower. Thankfully, no one would mind.

They retreated to the water trucks, both satisfied and relaxed. Even as they showered, V’s legs were still atremble and Judy had to support her on their way back to the rest of the clan.

Panam rushed to their side. “What is it? Is she feeling alright?!”

“Pfft.” Judy caught herself and shook her head. “It’s not what you think, Panam.”

V only blushed and looked away. The chief backed away as if staying in their proximity was physically bringing her pain. “Oh. Right. _Damn_.”

Judy couldn’t help but feel smug as she set her output down on a chair and sat down next to her. A harem was gathered around Marco and his amazing hair. V recognized all of the yoga moms and embarrassingly enough, Luce wasn’t immune to the guy’s charm either, especially because he appeared to like her cooking. V had a sneaking suspicion that the guy was so used to eating fish that even the overcooked, dirty mess on his plate looked pretty appetizing.

“Are you truly alone out here?” Mitch asked, unable to stop himself from gravitating towards the guy too.

Marco kept plucking at the strings as he replied, “Afraid so.”

“That’s odd…” Mitch turned to whisper to V, “Someone has to keep bringin’ him shampoo. Look at him. There’s no way that’s natural.”

“I know, right?” V whispered back, eyes glued to the shiny locks. The man noticed her staring and smiled. Mitch thought that the reaction was aimed at him and smiled back, making Marco laugh as kept playing.

Judy left the group and chose to survey their tent. She had a bad feeling about leaving the place unoccupied when the kids probably planned on wrecking it. She wasn’t really joking about the spy cam and traps – Carol even helped her get those ready just in case. Kylo’s perverse gang was seen sniffing around as well, so it went without saying that the traps needed to be set, there just wasn’t a proper opportunity until now. She just hoped V wouldn’t be dumb enough to waltz into one.

“Hello?”

The techie turned and saw a chromed-up Vietnamese woman standing outside of the tent. Her forced smile and unblinking eyes made Judy nervous. “Uh, what’s up?”

The woman reached out to shake her hand and Judy looked down on it in dismissal. She could already tell this one was trouble.

The smile faltered a little and the hand retracted. “I see. Not the friendliest kind, are we?”

Judy snapped. “What do you want?” This was about V. It had to be.

“I couldn’t help but notice your output hanging around my child,” she said, grabbing her phone and showing Judy a still of the juice box girl. “Tam is a very shy girl – she usually gives everyone a wide berth, but now your psychopath of a woman somehow brainwashed her into liking her. Could you please tell her to back off?”

Judy crossed her arms, looking down at the woman as if she was a bug she could squish under her foot. “The only psychopath I see here is your unblinking ass.”

The woman winced as if she struck her. “ExCUSE me?”

“You ever think your kid might be lonely? That she needs attention? I haven’t seen her in company of adults, or other kids since we joined this clan.” Not to mention her not even being able to utter a single word yet. “You come after my girl again, and I’ll smear that cheap lipstick across your face with my hand. Got it?”

The woman opened her mouth in shock, then closed it. “I’m telling the chief!”

Judy watched her go with a mean little smirk on her lips. This woman had to be scared of confronting V face to face and thought that Judy was a sweeter, more harmless victim for her barbed words. Well, she was dead wrong. V gave too many fucks about appearances. Judy couldn’t care less.

She went back to the ongoing concert, disappointed when neither V or Panam were present. She sat down next to Carol who was calmly tapping away on her laptop.

“Whatcha doin’?” She peeked over at the screen and saw pictures of the man singing his heart out.

Carol closed the computer shut. “Nothing.”

“He’s a literal water nymph.”

They turned and found Sabrina seated on the ground behind them. Carol groaned. “Not this shit again.”

“They all fell for his tricks already,” Sabrina said, looking at Carol pointedly. “You want to run away with him, don’t you?”

Judy cackled, unable to help herself. Carol gave the back of her head a gentle swat. “You keep your mouth shut. ‘ _I love yeast, too’_ , my ass. Your new lesbian slang spoiled bread for me, so don’t you _dare_ givin’ me shit right now.”

“Speaking of,” Sabrina scooted closer to Judy, eyes sparkling with curiosity. “I am sorry for being this forward, but… your lover…”

“Yeah?” Judy was suddenly eager to extract herself from this conversation.

Sabrina twiddled her thumbs, nervously looking around for V. When she was certain she was not listening in on them, she whispered, “There are no…protrusions…down there, right?”

Judy narrowed her eyes at the woman. “Were you watching us earlier, you perv?”

The nomad was suddenly on her feet. “I KNEW IT! I TOLD EVERYONE AND NO ONE BELIEVED ME!”

Her outburst was overshadowed by one of her yoga students yelling at her child. “PREGNANT? YOU’RE SIXTEEN, XENIA, YOU GOTTA BE SHITTING ME RIGHT NOW!”

Judy and Carol watched silently as the middle-aged woman dragged her daughter by the ear right into the middle of the crowd.

Marco stopped playing, looking at the girl with fake gold teeth in confusion. “Pregnant? Oh, congratulations! Such wonderful news!”

Carol pushed a bag of chips into Judy’s hands. “This is gonna be good.”

The mom glared at her daughter. “Which one of them was it, huh? Whose child has been sitting in there for three months?”

Xenia touched her belly on impulse. “It’s none of your fucking business, mom. I don’t want it anyway!”

Marco made a sour face. “Pardon my comment, then. Terrible news, what tragedy.”

“Too late for regrets, now!” The mom was on the brink of tears. “Who did this to my girl? At least have the decency to come forward and look me in the eye.”

Sam was busy looking at his phone. His father looked up at the pretty clouds. Mitch came forward and got slapped the moment he opened his mouth.

“You old pervert!”

“It ain’t mine, calm the hell down,” he said, touching his jaw to smooth out the sting of the slap. “I just wanted to say that this changes things. You know we can’t possibly afford to race towards Tucson with a pregnant girl in our clan. Panam should be here for this discussion, but until then I suggest we all calm the fuck down and—“

Lucy came up to Sam, towering over him with a pan in her hand. “I think I got the culprit right here, Trisha.” She whacked him over the head and the boy shot up to his feet with a yelp. “You two thought you were sneaky? You both sound like dying seniors with your _Aaaaahhhhs_ and _Oooohs_ , moaning like you were falling asleep. Well, I couldn’t sleep for weeks because of you little shits, so this is very cathartic for me. Man up, you idiot. It’s your kid.”

Kylo grabbed the pan out of her hands. “Mind your own business, woman.”

She pulled the pan from his hand with ease and whacked him over the head too. “You shut the fuck up. I haven’t even given you a piece of my mind for what you did to V, yet.”

Judy was beginning to like the woman.

“Fiiine, it’s mine.” Sam approached his ex-girlfriend, reaching out to her only for Xenia to stump on his foot as hard as she could. “Ow, you bitch!”

“He promised we would run away together,” the girl cried out, now fully bawling. “He said he had a good spot with the Valentinos in NC, we were gonna elope together. Now I know why he hesitated for so long…”

There was a moment of silence. Judy came up and approached the girl awkwardly. “Listen, in my biz, this type of shit happens all the time when the girls don’t have proper implants.” She rubbed at her nape, uncomfortable with being in the spotlight. “I just wanted to say…if you need to talk to somebody, I’m here.”

Damn, she opened her mouth before she could think this through. She had nothing helpful to offer outside of small bits of advice, but seeing this made her feel like she needed to step up and help somehow.

The girl looked at her as if she was seeing her for the first time. She sniffled and turned away, mom and ex-boyfriend right at her heels. Judy felt like a gonk and went to join V in Panam’s tent just to escape the curious gazes boring into her back.

When she came in, she found a bunch of scouts and Cassidy sitting around with them. “Sorry, can I…?”

V took her hand and guided her into her lap. “Of course you can. We were discussion the strategy for tomorrow, or, well, tonight, for that matter.”

“We’re hitting their camp at nightfall,” Panam said. “Gonna have to borrow your girl for that, hope you don’t mind. It’s probably gonna save her from that assassination attempt she told me about.”

Teddy laughed at that. “Sure know how to make friends, V.”

“We ran a background check on our singing beauty, by the way,” Cassidy remarked. “Dakota says he’s clear. Not a spy, as far as we know. You didn’t notice something odd, have you, Judy?”

The techie had nothing to add. “He seems alright, just…weird.” As weird as a water nymph can be.

V struggled to keep her hands to herself when Judy’s legs were so exposed in her shorts, but she was all too aware of Panam’s reprimanding stares. “Sorry, Jude. I’m afraid you’re gonna have to sleep alone tonight.”

Judy smiled. “Are you kidding? I can finally stretch my legs and have the whole bed to myself? Nova.”

“Says the blanket thief,” V muttered.

Taking their banter as a sign to end the discussion, the nomads exited the tent, only leaving Panam with them. “Uh, Jude? You might wanna cover up those legs of yours.”

“Why?”

Panam started counting on her fingers. “Let’s see, consider snake bites, accidental cacti leans, spider bites, horny men drooling at the sight of your tats, a horny V doing the same.” The merc made an offended sound. “Then we have the mosquitoes, a very angry old man who loves to attack people’s ankles with a stick, the sun is also a problem if you don’t have enough lotion—“

“Yeah, I get it now.” Judy made a gesture for her to stop. “I’ll wear my overalls and hope the snakes leave me be.”

“Alright, I’ll give you a minute say your sappy goodbyes. I’ll wait for you by my Thorn, V.”

When Panam left, V hugged Judy closer and rested her chin on her shoulder. “I got a bad feeling about leaving you alone here.”

“No offense, but I’m takin’ my Mox shotgun back. Your sassy gun wouldn’t help me even if I was being mauled to death.” Judy felt the arms tighten around her a little. “Relax, V. I’ll be fine. You be careful too, okay?”

They rode out of camp by daylight, but by the time they got close to the Arasaka’s camp it was midnight already. They exited the vehicle and grabbed their gear, walking to the tall cliff overlooking the enemy base.

“Your car is filthy,” V looked back at the dust-caked vehicle and the many dead bugs squished on the windshield.

“If that’s an offer to clean it, I’ll take it. Come on, race you to the top?”

“I can jump up no problem,” V boasted, trying not to think about how expensive the upgrade actually was. “You and your little legs will have to try real hard to keep up with me.”

One little leg planted itself onto her butt and sent her stumbling. “I got my own cyberware, you goose, and I can totally jump higher than you.”

The two raced up the cliff and V was happy to win their pointless competition, even though she won by a millisecond. Her graceful landing at the top had her fall right on her face while Panam ascended in a beautiful arc, landing on her knee.

“Woo, superhero landing!” V clapped once she sat up. In her defense, she was carrying a heavy sniper rifle with her while the chief only had a small backpack. Not to mention her shaky legs. Judy really did a number on her.

They set up their gear and sat on the ledge as they observed the big camp. V could see their expensive-looking armored vehicles as she inspected the base through her binoculars. No AVs, that was good. Those vehicles would be a secondary concern, though. They needed to take out the netrunner and the commander first. Without those two, their pursuers would be prone to making mistakes as they rushed into battle.

“I heard an interesting rumor before we left.” Panam’s tone was too mischievous to V’s liking. “You never told me you have, or had a…thing…”

“What thing?”

“You know, the art you left on the panzer. One of those.”

V looked at her as if she was losing her mind.

“Okay, but is it true or not?” Panam insisted. “Because it would make a lot of sense if you did.”

“What the hell does that mean?!”

Panam anxiously scratched her cheek. “Look, you’re giving off certain vibes that are kinda hard to ignore. Like this weird swagger you do for no reason, or your mannerisms, the way you dress sometimes…” She remembered the stockings and the high heels and felt her stomach do a funny flip. She chose to ignore it, though. “I will support you, you know. I’m your bestie, I’ll totally draw a trans flag on my car for you!”

V put her binoculars away and turned her full attention to the fidgeting nomad. “You know what? It’s all true.”

Panam’s eyebrows nearly left her face as she watched the perfectly calm expression on her friend’s face. “You’re shitting me right now, I thought it was a joke. H-how is this…why didn’t you tell me?” She thought she would punch the idiot for being this secretive about it.

“Well, I’m telling you now. We cool?”

Speechless and infuriated, the chief threw her hands up and looked away. “I guess?! Fucking hell, V. I thought we trusted each other.”

V let the woman seethe in anger and confusion and brought the binoculars back up to her eyes. The chief didn’t notice the small smirk on her face.

“You got something to say since we’re already dealing with loaded confessions?” V tested the waters. “Like…aren’t you curious about something? Maybe I could shine some light on more angles and stuff.”

For a moment she feared that Panam would just hop off the edge and her hand instinctively went to grab the back of her jacket.

“I’m good, thanks,” Panam barked out and looked at the time. “Sheesh when will they finally leave their tents? Don’t they ever need to pee?”

V pursed her lips together and bit down. When Panam finally noticed, the merc nearly wilted under her wrathful gaze.

“Hey, V,” the chief leaned closer. “You’re secured, right?” She tugged at the string attached to the merc’s belt. “I wonder what would happen if I just…pushed you down. You’d probably whack your head against the side of the cliff and dangle there forever until someone merciful would pull you back up.”

“Please, don’t.”

“Oh it’s a bit late for playing nice,” Panam put a hand on her shoulder and pushed a little. “Down you go!”

V instinctively pushed herself back from the ledge. “Okay, okay, sorry. I was just messing with you.” Not like the woman didn’t deserve it after all the clueless teasing. “No, I don’t have a dick. Never had one, don’t want one either. Although…”

Panam rubbed her temples. “Please, just shut up and let’s focus on the mission.”

V sighed and reached out to touch Panam’s shoulder, but retreated last second. “Alright, sorry. And just so you know, I’m always willing to talk to you – without bullshitting, I mean. About anything.”

The senior nomad huffed. “Thanks.”

They didn’t talk past that. When the time came, V swiftly lowered herself down from the cliff head-first until she was in a good position to take out the netrunner. The man was stumping impatiently in front of a portable toilet and V wanted to smack him for not standing still long enough for her to take good aim. When he finally reached for the door handle in an act of pure, savage desperation, V squeezed the trigger and zeroed the guy before he could traumatize whoever was inside. The gunshot was silenced, but as soon as the body hit the ground, the enemies started to leave their tents to check on what happened. Luck had it that the commander was literally in her sights moments later as he exited the toilet. Another shot, another dead body on the ground.

V tapped her earpiece. “Job’s done, let’s go back.”

“I’m already on my way, girl. Bye.”

“Panam, I’m exposed over here.”

“As you should be!”

Despite her anger, the chief pulled her back up.

Meanwhile in the camp, Judy was enjoying her first night alone. As much as she grew to love V, Judy has always been an introvert, so this was definitely a nice change of pace. She was watching a movie on her laptop, bundled up in a blanket. Her fun was interrupted by the gentle vibration on her wrist piece that announced that someone was walking around the tent. She switched over to the spy cam and a saw a bunch of kids carrying a large bull skull, dumping it right at the closed entrance. One kid shrieked as his legs got wrapped up in a silicone rope from one of the traps Judy had set up.

“Man down. Retreat!” The girl with braids had the rest of her gang run off, leaving the poor child behind.

Judy exited the tent and looked down at the wiggling boy. “The hell is this?”

“They made me do it!” The boy moved away from her like a caffeinated worm. “AAAAAH, mom!!! Pfff, I got sand in my mouth.”

This kid somehow reminded her of V.

“Quit yellin’.” She bent down and undid the rope binding him.

The boy spat out some sand and rubbed it off his tongue with his dirty hand. Judy cringed, but said nothing. “Um. Thanks? I’m Jax, by the way. Don’t tell on me, please.”

Just now she noticed the pentagram drawn with what looked like ketchup on the boy’s forehead. She pointed at the skull. “Where did you get that?”

“We found it. I wanted to keep it, but mom would never let me.”

“I don’t blame her.” Who would want to drag that with them through the desert? Thing looked heavy. “But it does look pretty cool,” Judy said, smiling at the thought of ever giving this to a child and having them rejoice like it was the most brutal thing ever. “Won’t tell on you, kid, just…don’t do this again, alright?

The boy smiled back. “Right? Oh, well. I’ll leave it here, then, thanks. You’re a nice lady.” He gave her a thumbs up and turned on his heel, walking back to his tent.

A gentle laugh caught her off guard and she realized that Marco was standing nearby the whole time, guitar hoisted over his shoulder. “Looks like we end the evening on a rather wholesome note, you and I.”

Judy shivered, already missing her warm bed. “Yeah. You leavin’?”

“That was the deal,” he nodded. “Your chief would only let me stick around for so long. Besides, you got a big battle coming and I’m not really a fan of bloodshed and gunfire. That being said, I hope you and V make it out okay.”

“Thanks.” Judy felt a stab of guilt for ever feeling a bit hostile towards him. “Good luck out there. You sure you don’t want any food? Think V doesn’t need to hoard as many crackers as she does already.”

“No, I’m good.” He gave her his signature bow and smiled. “May we meet again.”

Judy retreated into her tent, wondering how he wanted to just walk the desert in the middle of the night. She returned to her flick, unaware of the mutiny that was brewing a few tents away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sure the reference police will never catch me on this one.


	6. Blood and Sand

The road ended in the shallows of the lake. They sat in the Thorn, awaiting the masses charging right at them from the distance in a giant cloud of dust. The sun was slowly rising on the horizon, shining light on the oncoming bloodshed.

V handed the detonator over to her companion with a mischievous smile. “Your turn to push the red button, chief.”

Panam smirked and accepted it, thumb pressed to the top of the smooth surface. Her heart was beating wildly as she measured the required distance. And then…

All went out in a roaring explosion of water and sand as the armored vehicles started to cross. They didn’t expect the charges to be in the shallows –and who in their right mind would? Panam isolated the mines and dynamite charges in expensive sleeves that protected them from the elements and made them all the more deadly when they were hoisted out of the water when Panam pushed the button. The mines attached themselves to the bottom of the vehicles and blew them into smoldering pieces of metal.

The charge stalled the Arasaka soldiers, giving the women ample time to retreat.

“Fuck yeah!” Panam punched the roof of the car and whooped in excitement. “I love it when a plan works out!”

“Got your back, girls,” Teddy echoed from the radio as the scouts appeared by their side. “Drones incoming!”

V jacked into the Thorn, taking control of the turret. The radar picked them up even through their impressive cloaking, but Judy was right when she said nothing could pierce those fuckers easily. Thankfully, V wasn’t twiddling her thumbs either during the last 24 hours. She created a daemon with a little help of the Voodoo Boys tech – the drones and their impressive ICE protection were nothing but flies in her web. One by one, they sank into the sand in sparks of electricity and fire.

When the faster cars caught up with them, V leaned out of the window and let Skippy do her job for her. Though non-lethal, the accuracy of the head-shots was 98%. And even an unconscious driver was often as good as dead, taking others down in their wake as they lost control of the cars.

The scouts took out their rocket launchers and crippled the tanks, though it wasn’t enough to destroy them. More explosives were thrown out and Arasaka resistance was slowly weeded out.

“How are things on your end, guys?” Panam asked into the radio as she switched the frequency to the one of the people they left back in camp. “Can anyone read me?” Silence. “Shit!”

The radio hissed with static, then the sound cleared. “’Hi? Sorry, Panam, I forgot to unmute…” Jake's voice quivered. “Also, we are kinda, sorta getting murdered over here.”

“WHAT?” Both women shouted in unison.

Meanwhile, the camp was being held up at gun point. Judy was kneeling on the ground, hands held up above her head as the new clan surveyed the captured Aldecaldos. Most of them wore holographic masks displaying different types of emotions. Their chrome was rusted over and their mannerisms held that unmistakable hint of madness, but a different kind than the one signaling cyberpsychosis.

“Boss, hey! They have hoes!” One particularly bright snowflake was waving around a hose attached to the water truck. It was the filthy one though, and what he sprayed on his boss was the residue of dirty laundry, modest wipe-downs and dishwater.

The man shook in disgust. “You goddamn primitive, you got the wrong one! Oi, Handy Man!” The tall leader of the mysterious clan gestured to his crotch with a jerking motion of one hand, laughing derisively at Kylo’s frown. He touched his significantly smaller arm on an impulse. “If you and your lot wanna join, we better take some nice ones with us. To keep us company, you see. We are all very lonely.”

Kylo’s eyes went to find Judy who suddenly wished to have her shotgun handy so she could blast his damn smirk off his face. “I got two in mind, but the one I want is far from our reach. Just take her and leave the rest. They piss me off, but they are still family.”

The boss came up to Judy, surveying her like a curious animal. “Ooh, pretty one. Not much tech on ‘er too. Boys, tonight we dine like fucking heathens!”

Sabrina made a loud gagging sound. “Cannibals. Just our luck…”

Lucy clicked her tongue in disapproval. “Look at her, she is all skin and bones. You really wanna eat that?”

“And what about this one?” One cannibal grabbed Xenia and shoved her forward. “Curvy, isn’t she?”

“That’s because she’s pregnant. Leave my daughter alone!” Trisha said, trying to stand up to protect her, but all she got from it was a concussion as the boss wacked her over the head with his baseball bat.

“Nap time.” He swung the bat again, only stopping a few inches from her face when Xenia’s loud screams and pleas finally broke through her lips. “Mommy really loves you. But I love you more! Let’s take her with us, we will make excellent dads!”

Sam shakily stepped forward. “You better not touch her. Or else.”

“Or else what?” The boss laughed derisively. “Your pup is barking, Handy Man. Put him in line and let’s go before your stupid chief shows up. Get the drones and the water trucks, boys! We’re leavin’!”

Judy was grabbed too and would have been shoved into the leader’s car were it not for the sudden appearance of the panzer bulldozing through the enemy cars surrounding the camp and opening fire. Mitch and Bob blew the vehicles into smithereens and sent the cannibals scrambling. In midst of that chaos, Judy pulled Xenia from one of the psycho’s grasp, punching him flat on the nose. He whined and ran towards the water trucks to climb on one just as it was being driven away.

More shots were fired as the Aldecaldos tried to put up a fight and Judy’s stomach dropped when she saw a corpse of a teen hit the ground with a sickening thump. The ripper got dragged, too, but after resisting too much, the psychos gave him a belly full of led and left him on the ground where he fell. Another wounded man was shoved into a trunk and then taken away.

Little Tam ran for cover while her mom cowered in one of the tents, praying in her mother tongue.

It was all too much and the clan barely had enough time to react even with the support of the tank. They were simply outnumbered. Before anyone could give chase to the thieves, an AV flew over their heads and Arasaka soldiers started dropping bombs.

Judy pulled the pregnant girl near her and V’s tent and quickly got into the car. “Get the fuck inside, now!”

She gunned the engine and left without a second thought. There was nothing she could do, really. She tried not to think about all those people she left behind and instead thought of V. The family could take care of itself, surely.

To her delight, the Aldecaldos were swift to abandon the camp, too. Mitch was on her frequency within seconds. “Keep going east, or else we will get sandwiched between Panam’s pursuers and ours!”

“Do somethin’ about that AV and maybe we won’t need to scramble!” Judy spat out. The tank was supposed to be on its way over to Panam and V to help kill whatever they’d drag in with them since the vehicle was too slow for their swift assault. She was glad it was there with them instead, but so far it didn’t help all that much.

“I’m not used to piloting this thing, okay?” Bob yelled back over the roar of the tank’s open fire. “I think I’m gonna puke.”

Judy looked over at her passenger and realized that Xenia was not doing any better. Her face had a sickly green hue. If she puked inside of V’s car—

Aaaand it was too late.

“Goddamn it.” Judy let out a string of Spanish curses as the girl puked all over herself.

“They…they wanted to eat me…” she sobbed, wiping the puke off her mouth and waving her hand out the window uselessly before she not so sneakily smeared the stuff over the car’s door. “And Sam left with them. They killed our people…”

“Do you wanna tell me something new, or do you just want to hear yourself talk?” Judy was about done with this girl. She could have picked up Tam, or Jax. She sincerely hoped they were okay.

Not much was left behind since Judy already loaded the truck and secured their belongings in the back, but the tent, the bed and the blankets? That was gone in a blaze of fire. Well, it wasn’t as important as the clean water, drones and food rations that got unapologetically yoinked right from their grasp. And for what? A childish skirmish with V.

Ah, shit, they will blame this on her, too. Of course they will.

She dialed V, despite fearing the possibility of maybe distracting her. The holo call connected on the third ring, showing V intact and unbloodied for once, and Judy couldn’t help but smile. “There you are. I fuckin’ love you, you know that?” 

“Think I heard it once or twice,” V joked as she ripped the ring off the grenade she was holding with her teeth. She threw it out the window and soon they heard a deafening boom of a vehicle being torn to bits.

“EAT SHIT!” Panam yelled in the background. Something else was thrown and another explosion shook the car.

“Are you safe, Jude?” V asked a little breathlessly, eyes wide with worry. And something else. Her pupils were blown open.

“Are you seriously high off your tits right now?”

“It’s just stims, had to hack on command under constant gunfire and yelling from Her Majesty Queen Palmer.”

Panam’s middle finger showed up on the display, hovering a few inches from V’s face. “Her Majesty will cut your head off if you don’t stop chatting with your output and focus, for the love of Christ!”

V saluted shortly. “Talk soon. Love you.”

Just as she cancelled, three drones surrounded the car.

“More cloaked ones, ladies!” Teddy yelled on the radio. “V? Do your thing.”

“I’m trying to.” V opened another stim and injected herself with it. Her head felt like she had an ax stuck in it and for a short moment the time seemed to slow down as her senses enhanced.

The drones turned their attention on Teddy and opened ceaseless fire. The armored vehicle withstood most of it bravely, but the driver was already dead as a ricochet shot got him straight in the forehead. The car veered off course and got rammed over by a pursuing tank, flattening it into a pulp.

“Teddy?! ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME?” Panam gripped the wheel until her knuckles turned white. “Go faster, all of you! Split up and keep your fucking heads down!”

V cursed and focused on the ICE breaking when she noticed something familiar.

“Those are our drones, Panam.”

The nomad chief felt her stomach drop. “Kylo…” And there was only one person he had the vendetta for.

The Thorn was riddled with bullets within seconds and the two women shrank down in their seats. One slug got Panam in the shoulder and she cried out, struggling to keep the car steady. V’s blood curdled at the sound. _No, not this shit again…_ This would be another scar earned on her account.

One drone blew up like a bomb, taking the second one with it. The last drone flew off in a hurry, surprisingly choosing to let them go.

In the moment of their distraction, one of the scout cars decided to mutiny out of nowhere and fire a rocket straight at the Thorn, making it flip and fly high in the air. V lost consciousness for a couple moments and didn’t even realize someone was dragging her out of the wreck until two scouts stood over her, one of them hoisting a big steel hammer on his shoulder.

“Hey, Death-dealer,” he said as he watched her crawl back to the Thorn.

A boot got her in the side and rolled her over onto her back. “Kylo wanted to rough you up a bit before Arasaka takes your stupid head. Maybe break an arm or two while they mercifully wait for us.” He gestured to the stalling tanks that were scanning the area for drones.

The second scout took a hold of her arm and kept it in place as the first one swung hard. “Game over, kid.”

His body went rigid as the mantis blade burried itself deep in his neck the moment he bent down. His hammer thudded uselessly just an inch from V’s arm. She twisted the blade and freed it, swinging around to sweep the legs of the second scout from under him and gutted him before he could say a word.

She left them there, gurgling and clutching at their wounds as she limped over to the car.

The tanks aimed directly at her as she moved and for a moment she thought she would never make it there in time to see…to make sure…

She couldn’t lose her like this. Her shitty luck always had to strike at the worst moments. Jackie…now Panam…

There was an odd sound signifying the systems were charging and V jumped out of the way just in time, crouching down beside the Thorn to scoop up the seemingly lifeless body into her arms, then jumping out of the targeted area again amidst the sound of explosions and the gentle falling of the sand.

She didn’t know how, but she made it over to the abandoned Coyote that belonged to Kylo’s goons and soon she was speeding out of there, zigzagging and making wild swerves to fake them out. Meanwhile, Panam was groaning in the driver’s seat, a small fountain of blood pouring from the open wound on her forehead.

V pulled out a MaxDoc and put it into her hand. “Hey, Pan. Please, listen to me.” The eyes fluttered open. “Take it, or else you'll bleed out on me.” She tried not to think about how strained her voice was.

“Nghhh…mother _fucker_ …”

A small, relieved laugh escaped from V’s mouth. “That’s my girl. Come back to me.”

Panam pushed herself upright and jabbed herself with the MaxDoc, gasping as the drug gave her body a solid kick in the rear to speed up the healing process. “What…happened…?”

“I’m afraid your Thorn got blown to bits.”

Taking a moment to process it, the chief slumped in her seat and carefully checked herself for further injuries. “My poor baby…I’m gonna kill that son of a bitch!”

V had a shark smile on her lips. “Oh, I’m right there with you. Attacking us like that…I sincerely hope Judy doesn’t have a scratch on her, otherwise I’m leavin’ on my own to hunt the bastard down. You doin’ okay?”

“Stop worrying about me and get into those crevices ahead – they won’t follow us there.”

Claire’s races definitely helped to prepare her for the tight spaces and sharp turns on the rocky ground. The Coyote was perhaps the fastest car she has ever driven and she feared even a single blink would result in a serious car crash. The serpentine road seemed to go on forever until they finally made it to the other side into the open desert, leaving the tanks several miles behind them.

Panam had passed out in the meantime, giving V another scare. She couldn’t stop and check on her, though. She needed to get her to their ripper ASAP.

She dialed up Judy again.

The techie cursed as the AV kept showering the escaping nomads with turret fire. Marco was onto something when he left last night, and she should have been smart enough to go with him to burry herself in whatever hole in the ground he lived in and wait this out. V could take care of herself.

“Jude?”

Or not.

She gawked at the blood-soaked merc. “What…It’s been a few minutes and you’re already—“

“Where are you guys? I need a rendezvous point, Panam got injured.”

“Fuck, _you’re_ injured ya gonk! What happened?”

“Ain’t my blood, Judy. What the fuck is going on in there?”

“There’s an AV on our tail, can’t regroup with that around.”

V punched the wheel and cursed wildly. “What, are they asleep in the panzer? We left that tank behind for a reason!”

They switched to the group frequency and V let her rage be known. “Mitch? You better learn how to aim again, old soldier. I need that thing down before the tanks join in on your fun.”

“I’m shooting it, V. The thing has enough armor on it to make all my shots ricochet – I gotta be careful with this one."

Scattered all around, the nomad vehicles struggled to stay within each other’s orbit. The AV was focused on the panzer, otherwise they would have been blown into smithereens already. If this kept going they would separate under pressure and then get picked off one by one by Kylo’s new best friends.

They were all going to die if something didn’t take out the AV soon.

V knew they were after her and Panam. What better way to avenge the death of the commander and their netrunner than to do the same to the Aldecaldos? Well, this went beyond that and all the way back to the damned heist. V was their priority, and she would not let them die for it.

The Coyote was fast enough to catch up with the group within a few minutes. V picked the small truck at the tail of the procession, honking at Jake to slow down.

She coaxed him into taking Panam with him, only stopping briefly to get her safely into the passenger seat. The AV was way ahead, firing at the battered tank.

“Take her away, find the ripper if you can.”

Jake grabbed her hand as she was about to leave and shook his head sorrowfully. “He’s gone.”

V thought she would scream. Panam’s head wound might have been more serious than it looked like and the nomads had to have several wounded among them, too. Kylo was a dead man walking, that much was certain.

The discussion had to be cut short. She waved the man away and rushed into her car, speeding ahead to catch up with the flying menace that just wouldn’t drop. Hacking into their frequency was ridiculously easy and she had to laugh. Or maybe she was too high and her brain started functioning like a super computer out of sheer pressure.

“Hi, and welcome to the Corpo-shit airlines.” The guys swore in Japanese, trying to figure out what the hell was happening to their comms. “My name is V, and I will be your flight attendant. While you’re busy panicking over your eminent death, enjoy a complimentary drink and the song of my people.” She directed them a link to the ancient song of flight attendants and fucked off from the group.

 _♫_ _Baby can’t you see…I’m callin’ ~_ _♫_

Laughing like an idiot, V ignored the angry nomad chatter as she baited the Arasaka soldiers into a mad pursuit, taking them directly back to their tanks as the music blared on her speakers.

Oh, Johhny would have loved this.

Judy was set on killing her the moment they regrouped. She’d strangle the gonk with her bare hands and then throw every bit of furniture and clutter at her until she’d be buried under a mountain of it. What the hell was she thinking?!

However stupid and suicidal her strategy was, it worked. The nomads finally grouped into a proper formation and made a thorough check-up. A whole family got killed back in the camp, several people had minor burns and more supplies were lost in the bombing. Dakota took charge and set up a rendezvous point where they would hide for a bit.

It turned out to be a cavern which was spacious enough to fit all of their vehicles inside as they waited for V to make contact again. In the distance, they could hear very faint but unmistakable sounds of fighting.

The group went about helping the injured- namely their unconscious chief. Judy wanted her to wake up because something was telling her that Panam would have left the moment she’d hear the news and go get the merc back, even if she had to drag her by the back of her collar.

“She’ll be fine,” Carol cooed, giving her an awkward half-hug to make her snap out of the angry daydreaming. “You worry too much.”

Of course she’ll be fine having an indestructible shuttle stuck on her tail along with five other indestructible war machines. What was she worried about exactly?!

Carol swiftly retreated when she sensed Judy’s unrestrained bloodthirst and excused herself, saying she needed to do some repairs on their cars. Judy despised the carefree attitude. In fact, most nomads in their group didn’t seem too bothered by the prospect of V paying the price for their moment of peace. She wanted to start making rounds slapping everyone and their mothers in the face, but thought better of it.

She found Mitch standing next to a heaving Bob, awkwardly patting him on the back. “Yo, I need you to come with me,” Judy said, cringing at the sound of vomiting.

Mitch looked at her knowingly. “You’re comin’ back for her, eh? Well, I’m right behind ya.”

Cassidy strolled up to them, clearing his throat. “Hope you folks don’t mean to leave without me.”

Relieved beyond words, Judy nodded to them in thanks and went to collect Beast.

They found her sitting atop one of the tanks, bloodied from head to toe and casually smoking a cigarette. All around her were burning wrecks and mutilated bodies. Judy didn’t know whether she was more horrified or proud at that moment, but her anger definitely won over both of those emotions.

“’Sup?” V looked down at them in amusement, fully aware of the spectacle she was causing.

Mitch let out an impressed whistle. “You did all of this on your own?”

“Yep,” V replied, jumping down from the tank. “I’m a solo, remember?” Something wicked glimmered in her eye – something alive and thriving, reminding them all of a lioness basking in the afterglow of the juiciest kill. “I work better alone.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Since my bloodthirst has been revealed this chapter, let me just say that I am not above killing V in the end. I am still on the fence on how to end this, and trust me, I know some of you signed up for humor and lesbi-gonks having adventures and being in love (and there will still be all of that), but I wanna keep my options open so my writing can be more flexible until I make that decision.  
> I’m putting up the tag ‘possible character death’ and I’ll change it accordingly once I'm done with the series. I hope that whichever action I choose won’t taint your perspective on the rest of the material I wrote with these two. I'm still open to feedback, tho.
> 
> edit: for all of you confused readers who did not witness this while the work was in progress, hi, I did indeed consider killing V since the beginning, but this was the chapter when I got actually vocal about it. 
> 
> Don't do what I did, kids. Always place your ending tags up right away.


	7. Second-In-Command

Judy was certain that the day would never come. She would beat the bloody stereotype and deal with her temper like she always did – breathe in, breathe out, maybe slap someone and seethe in anger until it would go away. Today was the day, however, when the urge to strike someone with her footwear reared its ugly head for the first time.

V’s smugness broke the moment her output yanked her forward and started giving her a good shake. Mitch and Cassidy excused themselves and began looting the area.

“HAVE YOU LOST YOUR GODDAMN MIND?!”

The merc tensed up in her grip, cigarette falling down from her mouth, landing at their feet. “I just—“

“Thought you could leave me alone with these people?!” Judy’s lips curled in a vicious snarl that exposed her teeth. “After all the shit we’ve been through? You got six months to live and what does your smart ass do? You drive straight into the line of fire!”

“I’m sorry…”

“No,” Judy chuckled bitterly. “Sorry doesn’t cut it, chica. You know what I’ve been tryin’ to do all this time behind your back? I researched how to rewire synaptic pathways so we could fix that damn mess left by the chip. I used to stay up for _hours_ , experimenting with tech, calling up favors, getting into contact with fuckin’ corpos who were not in bed with Arasaka. And for what?!” She pushed the woman away. V’s back hit the front of the tank and she let out a pained gasp. “For nothing. Jesus, why did I have to fall for the stupidest suicidal maniac in NC?”

She looked back up at her woman and felt her rage flare up even more. She was out of it. Absolutely high, floating ten feet above the ground. If they were alone, Judy might have given her more of the angry treatment, chew her out just like she deserved for giving her yet another scare within just one week on the road. But there was no time to do that, and they needed to leave the area before the smoke could alert more enemies.

V pushed herself off the tank. “I couldn’t bear the thought…” she said quietly, eyes reverently taking in every detail of Judy’s face as if the image would disappear any moment. “It was pure instinct. I will be more mindful next time.”

Next time…

Judy wished there would never be a next time. What were they doing with the Aldecaldos, anyway? They should have been speeding to Tucson on their own, taking the sights, going on small adventures, finding themselves a home...

It was that stupid jacket that held the woman to the clan like the tightest rope. Panam and Saul passed on the responsibility for the family just so the Aldecaldos would follow her into war. And now that it was over, V would go to war against anyone who’d declare it on them. Where was Judy in the midst of all this?

“One more thing,” V asked hesitantly. “Is Panam okay?”

Ah, yes. It wasn’t just the jacket, it was Panam herself holding her there. And V was her second-in-command.

“She’s fine,” Judy said tersely. “Let’s just get you back, okay?”

They salvaged what they could – pumped fuel right out of the tanks, took the armor off the corpses along with their boots and rushed back into the temporary camp.

Judy had to pull V aside first to clean her up. Her poor mental state was shown when she first spotted the absolute mess in her car, leaving her hyperventilating and looking like she wanted to rip the whole passenger seat out and cleanse it with fire. Apart from that, her appearance was far too gruesome, and Judy had to make her seem more presentable before she could address the clan.

She borrowed Carol’s spray bottle and took a clean cloth to wipe the blood off while V winced every time the droplets hit her face. It was like she was trying to groom a cat that had a bit too much catnip and then went on a murder spree.

“V? I know you’re not fully there right now, but I want you to think about something,” Judy said once she was done cleaning most of the mess. “If I wanted us to leave, would you do it?”

“In a heartbeat,” came the immediate response. There was no foolish smiling, no eagerness or pity either. “I’m following _you_ , not them.”

“You sure about that?” Judy put her hand under V’s chin, tilting her head up to read her expression better. “I will ask you again in a few hours. Think on it, then lemme know.”

Lucy approached them looking somewhat relieved. “There you are. They’ve been fighting over leadership like a bunch of power-hungry politicians, I’m sick of hearin’ it.” When she saw V’s eyes she barked out a laugh. “Wonderful, our one capable person is busy chasin’ the rainbow and seeing sounds. V, sweetheart, snap out of it, okay?”

V merely looked at her as if she was a ghost.

“Well, I’m sorry, but this calls for some tough love,” Luce said to Judy as she rubbed her hands together and then cracked her knuckles. “V? I’m going to hit you, honey. I’m apologizing now.”

Thankfully she did not go for a punch, but the power of her slap made Judy jump a little. She felt the weight of it on her conscience and most of her rage evaporated when she saw the hunched form of her lover slowly pulling herself together. There was a red handprint on her right cheek.

“One more time, please,” the idiot woman turned her other cheek for the second mighty slap that sent her flying from her chair.

Judy stepped between them and pushed Lucy away. “That’s enough.”

They both looked over at the merc and were surprised to find that the pupils weren’t dilated as much as before. She seemed more grounded, albeit definitely not in a proper shape to play the leader.

“Thank you,” she said to Lucy in all seriousness, standing up and walking past them to join the bickering crowd nearby. The two women followed.

“…that is why we need to move on to the closest town right now, we can’t let Trish and Panam wander around the desert with serious head injuries!” Bob said, gesturing to the barely conscious form sitting down next to the very frightened Xenia. “And the girl should go, too. I volunteer to take them, the Coyote is our best bet if we want to get them help fast.”

V ignored his speech and knelt down beside her yoga buddy. There was a whiff of staleness on her breath, a tell of her having puked not too long ago. This was serious. “Drink up,” she said, handing her a can of water that Lucy had given her moments prior.

“V?” Dakota stepped into the middle of the gathered circle of nomads, arms folded on her chest. “We are runnin’ low on water. I don’t condemn your action, but we should be careful.”

“That’s why we should turn back around and run to the wildlife reserve again,” the merc said as she jacket into Trisha’s biomon, checking her vitals and neural activity. “Plenty of water there, and Marco said there’s fish in the lake. If he could make it out there on his own, then so can we.” She jacket out and turned to Xenia. “She doesn’t have internal hemorrhaging, that’s a good sign. She will probably make it out of this if she is provided with enough rest and water. Trust me, I’ve dealt with worse.”

Judy marveled at how quickly V could adjust in such a short time. She recognized that kindness and that soothing tone and she felt magnetized towards the woman despite her wishes not to be at the moment.

“We shouldn’t risk it, though,” Bob insisted. “Come on, V. I though you of all people—“

“I would love to just drive like a maniac to get us all to safety, but that’s not an option. There is a new, powerful clan roaming the desert with our guns and supplies. Our dead were left to bloat in the sand, and I get your frustrations, but we cannot go back for them either. Similarly, dividing ourselves now would be gonk as fuck, we need to put some distance between us and our enemies first."

Mitch threw his cigarette to the ground and picked his phone out of his pocket. “Don’t forget we got contacts within and outside of our sibling pack in Arizona. The Brador clan owes us big time, so if I light a little flame under their butts they will deliver their ripper directly to us with an armed convoy.”

Robert cleared his throat. “And I’m what? Roadkill? My pills were left behind, you assholes, I’m as good as dead without ‘em! Just end me right now, it will be more merciful.”

Jake brought his small bag full of meds over to the old man and pulled out two bottles, shaking them a little to show they were half-full. “You can have mine for now, both are for blood pressure and pain relief.”

The old man yanked the bottles from Jake’s hands and threw them at V. “This is your bloody fault, you moron!” He wheeled himself closer to her. “My RV wouldn’t be blown to bits if you and Kylo had the decency to kill each other.”

V stepped away from the angry man and sighed. “Anyone else shares his feelings?”

There was silence at first, but when Dakota spoke her agreement, the dam broke, and more accusations were thrown at the merc from all sides, no matter how much Mitch and Cassidy protested. Judy was inclined to snap at people herself, but knew that V had to defend herself to make them start taking her seriously.

“Alright, you got it out of your systems, good.” V shrugged casually. “I admit it was a long time coming. You all can blame me for one thing or another; for Scorpion, for ‘manipulating’ your leaders, for accidentally luring Saul and your loved ones to their deaths…I’ve heard it all in my short time here.” Her gaze fell on Carol. “You, for example, think I’m a cold-hearted merc who only cares for money and fame. And you know what? That's fine. I got my fair share of slaps for my hubris, and I’m not that naive kid anymore. But listen to this before you write me off- I’m used to being on the run. What you’re experiencing right now is right in my element. I can make these decisions for you while Panam is indisposed. I’ll get you to safety and then we can all resume this wonderful discussion, but for now, start packing and let’s move out.”

The nomads were reluctant, but not stupid. Despite having seasoned veterans at their disposal, no one really dared to step up to the occasion the way V did. And hell, if she was smart enough to get that AV down by herself, she was their best bet at safety.

As they busied themselves with packing, Judy followed V over to the secluded spot and found her staring at her wildly shaking hands. The techie took a firm grip on her wrists, trying to keep them still. “Easy, easy. I’m here.” Her voice seemed to calm the girl down a bit. “Shit, V, I’m sorry you have to go through this. You did well, though.”

V was thoroughly lost for a moment. The confident merc she found sitting on top of the tank earlier was gone, and instead there was a scared girl stumbling around in a place that was unfamiliar to her, dealing with people who were ready to throw her to the wolves for their losses.

“I’m not fit to lead anybody,” V said in a tiny voice. “Been responsible only for myself for this long. Every damn time I had someone by my side…”

She didn’t need to finish that thought. Judy embraced her, already feeling sorry for snapping at her earlier. “I know it’s hard, but we need you solid right now, calabacita.”

“I just…didn’t have much time to take it all in.” She snuggled closer. “Earlier, I thought Panam was dead for sure. Fuck, I even thought you were a goner for a moment when we didn’t get any response from you guys…”

That fear of loss…Judy could understand it all too well.

“I’m not getting into that car with you, though.”

Judy laughed. “I’ll air it out, it will be fine.”

“What about the seat?”

“We’ll throw somethin’ over it. Come on. Can’t blame a pregnant girl for barfing.”

“I absolutely can, and I will.”

Pulling away, Judy planted two careful kisses onto the reddened cheeks. V’s breath hitched upon contact and Judy could feel a different kind of a tremble run through her hands. “I’m still mad at you for that suicidal stunt, just so we’re clear.” She fixed the girl with a firm stare. “But I’m here for you, V. You’re not alone in this.”

The merc gave her a genuine smile full of so much gratitude that Judy wished she could have captured that moment on camera. “God, what did I do to deserve you?”

As cheesy as it sounded, the words echoed in Judy’s mind as she drove Beast at the head of the nomad formation. A sane woman would have pulled her lover away from the toxic group that was dead set on eating her alive. Even saner woman would have taken Panam with them just to cut whatever guilt V felt about leaving to make sure the departure would be a sound one. But hey, who said Panam would ever agree, or go willingly? This was her family, after all.

However angry she was at the clan, these were people, and they were all hurting. Some of that irrationality came from grief, that much was certain. V could fix problems just as well as she could cause them though, so perhaps this chaos was good for something. Judy could tell that the nomads were slowly opening up to the idea of letting V do more for the clan, especially now that Dakota gave her access to the subnet.

She sat in the passenger seat with a borrowed headset on, whining every time Judy hit a bump.

“You should be taking this time to sleep,” Judy nagged like a concerned mother.

Still high, the solo only laughed weakly. “Sure, sure. No problem. Guess some other netrunner could make our data tracks virtually invisible…oh wait.” She laughed again. “Never mind.”

Dakota was good at her job as a fixer, her netrunning skills were vanilla at best. She shrank away from the Voodoo Boys tech V had previously offered, not to mention her distaste for Alt’s little sabotage program for Mikoshi.

Drastic times require drastic measures, though.

They didn’t stop to make camp, only ate in their vehicles and pushed forward until sundown. By then they made it pretty close to the lake, but there was still ways to go. V didn’t want them to return to the same spot they camped in, so their goal was to move far up north. There was a rumor about hidden, abandoned facilities there.

For now, they had to make do with sleeping under the stars with nothing around them for solid cover except a bunch of rocks.

“No fire?” Jake dropped the dried up grass, looking at V as if she ordered him to stop breathing. “We’ll freeze our balls off!”

“Huddle for warmth, then,” she offered while cleaning her mantis blades with baby wipes. She looked like a zombie and felt like one too. The side effects of the stims were hallucinations and exhaustion, so she knew she was in for a great night. “Or stay in your car. Either way, there will be no lights and no fire.”

To compromise the harshness of the order, she helped put up a single tent usually reserved for vehicles and everyone took refuge there for the night. They brewed tea and passed it around, reserving most of it for Robert who would never survive such a night without it. Heating was repeatedly switched off and on depending on the situation, but most nomads were fine cuddling the cold away. Some might have even been a little too comfortable.

V gave her jacket to Tam and the little girl was positively lost in it, but it provided a secondary barrier against the cold along with her unicorn blanket. Her mother begrudgingly thanked her and resumed her constant prayers.

As for the injured, Trisha could not sleep no matter how hard she tried, and sleep was the only cure for her to get back on her feet quickly. Even though she was numb to the pain, her body would not shut down. V secretly wished to be in her shoes instead, because every step was a task on its own for her.

Panam was occasionally waking up to Carol forcing her to drink some water. Their reserves were almost spent by then. V sat with her and filled her in on as much as she could without worrying her, but Panam was as stubborn as ever.

“Take this thing off me!” She threw her blanket off and tried to sit up. The pain from her shoulder stopped her before she could move an inch from the bedroll. “Ah, fuck! God, I hate drones so much…”

“Right there with you on that,” V said, cursing herself for not being quick enough. “Relax, I got it covered. We’re doin’ fine for now and by the time you step in we will be in a safer spot.”

The chief reached out and took her hand. “I’m just glad you’re alright, V. We went through hell today. If the tables were turned, I would be freaking out right now.”

“Well, miss Palmer, you made me think it was the heist all over again,” she said, voice quivering. “Sorry about the car too…”

Carol looked from one woman to the other. “Can you stop being so bloody emotional? It’s honestly annoying as fuck. And stop holdin’ her hand Panam, she is taken.”

The chief immediately went on the defense as she retracted her hand. “Wh-I was NOT coming onto her, you—you—“

“Me what?” Carol dared her. “The speaker of truth? God, you two are so gay for each other sometimes, I wonder how that poor girl of yours stands it, V.” She rose to her feet and shuffled to the other side of the tent.

V anxiously turned around and saw Judy talking to Xenia, their backs turned to the two of them. She sighed in relief. “She is onto something, you know.”

“What are you accusing me of, punk?” Panam’s icy glare wasn’t as firm as she would have liked. “I would rather kiss a disgusting toad than you. Gross.”

“First off, keep your voice down. Second of all, I share that sentiment wholeheartedly, believe me.”

The two stared at each other in annoyance. V didn’t feel like opening the discussion up in their current state – and let’s be honest, the setting was not good either – so she quickly changed the topic. “Nice night for an evening, huh?”

Panam looked confused and offended for a split second before her expression turned into a mask of calmness. “Totally. The weather is so…desert-y…tonight.”

“Yeah…”

Despite the constant hum of several conversations held at once, the two could swear they felt like the silence between them was absurdly deafening.

“I, uh, I’m gonna go stretch my legs a bit,” V pointed to the flap of the tent.

“Oh, you’re finally leaving? Thank god.” Panam gave a fake yawn and shooed her away with an impatient wave of the hand. “You bore me to tears, V.”

The merc set her jaw tight and walked out of there before she could fall for the bait and start a proper bickering match. She desperately wanted something like that right now to lighten her mood, but Carol had to go and ruin it.

The night cloaked the desert in inky blackness, so much thicker than what V was used to back in Night City. She was stumbling over rocks and bumping into cacti as she walked away from the tent, passing the new appointed scouts with a brief ‘hello’. Someone’s car materialized in front of her and she slid across the side of the hood, landing on the ground with a soft thud.

“Uh, you okay over there?” asked the youngest Gunslinger. “You’re not dead, right?”

“Debatable.”

V pushed herself back on her feet and wandered farther away, hands outstretched before herself. She found a spot on the gentle slope and perched there, watching her surroundings as the first bouts of dizziness overwhelmed her.

Then there was a frog choir around her, their eyes large and bulging out of their heads. They shone with pretty purple colors that hypnotized the merc. A large, spider-like thing straight out of Lovecraftian tales appeared, looming over her with its strange shriveled head pointed to the stars. A harem of naked women ran around the place, giggling and shrieking in a manner that gave V gooseflesh all over. They were wonderful and terrifying, and she didn’t recognize a single one.

Johnny appeared among them, holding hands with an elegant brunette with olive skin, spinning around in giddy circles.

“Come join us, V!” he yelled before he let go and the poor woman spun away into the darkness with an angry yell of betrayal. “You’re free, isn’t this what you wanted? A life outside of Night City?”

V knew better than to join the gaggle of women. It was a trap. “I’m fine where I am, thank you.”

He shrugged and pulled another one into a mock dance, dipping her and then dropping her by ‘accident’. “Oops, my bad.”

“What the fuck are you doing, you old fart?”

“Teaching you a lesson about how not to treat your women, obviously,” he said matter-of-factly. “After all, you _are_ me now. Look at you, pulling two of them close at the same time. In the end, they will both get sick of your shit and you will end up with nothing.”

She scoffed. “I’m not into Panam, Johnny. I’m not playing these games– I know what I want. Can’t two friends be a little more affectionate with each other than usual?”

“And it sure as hell won’t ever grow into something more than that, right?” The rocker tripped a cutie and she face-planted into the sand. “One more down! Damn, I’m good.”

“Could you stop terrorizing the ladies and talk to me like a normal person?” She paused, drinking in the sight of him. “I missed you.”

Johnny took off his aviators and sat down beside her. “Hate to say it, but I miss your gonk ass, too. Not much dancing around where I’m at right now.” He pulled out a cigarette and suddenly it was in her own hand, in her own mouth. “You seem to be doin’ good out here.”

“Heh, I wouldn’t say that.” She took a long drag, body flooding with the happy hormone. “I wonder what V is doing in the afterlife, if there is such a thing. What happened to her…” She remembered jacking into Mikoshi and tried to imagine when exactly the death occurred, searching for some tiny glimpse of it. “After all, everything that’s left is a copy, and even that isn’t entirely her.”

“The dead don’t walk around like ghosts, V,” he said with surprising gentleness. “The original Johnny is no more; the less I thought about it, the better. What's that old saying? 'Out with the old, in with the new'? As gonk as it sounds, I’d like to think that I've grown from all that mess we've been through…something the old Silverhand never had the chance to do.”

She felt the ghostly touch of his prosthetic arm on her shoulder and then he was gone.

The rest of the fantastical images seemed all the more sinister once she was left alone. She was so cold that her teeth started chattering. The cigarette in her hand was like a tiny blaze that kept the worst of it away. As she was busy watching the girls dance around in the faint moonlight, she felt someone put a familiar jacket over her shoulders and sink down next to her, opposite to where Johnny sat not long ago.

“You are totally allowed to take your jacket back from a child if you need it, V,” Judy teased carefully, aware of the strange far-away look in her girl’s eyes.

“Pinch me, or go away.” Judy did as she was told. “Ow. Oh thank god, I thought you'd start dancing…”

“Eh, no, don't worry about that.” She pulled the cigarette out V’s lips and put it into her own mouth.

“Thief!”

Judy chuckled at the childish, accusatory tone. “Come get it back if you dare.”

V reached out and had her hand pushed away. More fighting ensued, the images around the merc fading with each breathless laugh that rumbled out of her chest. “Stop, stop. Gimme one more drag. Just one.”

Judy held it up to her lips, fingers brushing against the sensitive skin. “I wanna be that cigarette right now.”

V grinned and flicked it away into the darkness. “I hope not. C’mere.”

They kissed passionately until they ran out of breath; each kiss warming them up from head to toe.

“That question you asked me earlier about leaving...” the merc said, toying with the colorful strands of Judy’s hair. “Think I got the answer now.”

“Shoot.”

“I would leave with you, of course,” she said, then hesitated. “But not right now, only if things get bad for us here. After today, I realized I want them to see me as someone they can truly depend on. Think I owe them that much.”

To her surprise, the techie seemed glad to hear it. “Not that I fully doubted your previous answer, but I’m actually with you, one hundred percent.” She looked in the direction of the tent hidden in darkness. “Not gonna lie, I was about to change course dozen times as we drove here, but they are all just hurtin' and scared. Dumb too, but correcting them is half the fun, no? Think we ought to stay, if only out of spite.”

“Oh, spite is a great motivator,” V laughed, knowing that behind it all Judy cared and wanted to help them. “It’s a deal, then. We’re not running away from this. The clan has already changed within the past fourteen hours, might as well shake things up while we can.”

Judy nodded. “Out with the old, in with the new.”

V gawked at her for a moment as if she said something crazy, than she nodded back, trying her best to hide her uneasiness. “Exactly.”

Change was inevitable, both in her life and outside of it. All V could hope for was that it would be for the better, if only for Judy’s sake.


	8. North of Nowhere

Already up at dawn, V clumsily disentangled from Judy's embrace and went outside of the shared tent. The scouts were passing a can of lemonade among themselves, looking sour and bone-weary. She didn’t blame them, especially if they were still thinking about those who were left behind yesterday.

She walked up to Beast to unload a MaxDoc and jabbed herself in the chest with it, wheezing weakly as the stuff poured into her stiff body. As she let go of the empty casing, a strong coughing fit overwhelmed her. When she looked down on her hand, it was dripping with blood.

 _Here we go again,_ she thought bitterly as she cleaned her hand with a tissue. Last night gave her a lot to think about – mainly regarding her relationship with both Judy and Panam. Johnny was a walking disaster when it came to maintaining healthy relationships - couldn’t speak his mind even if he had a gun pressed to his temple. Well, she won’t be like him, and she would never lose the one good thing she had going for some dumb, unnamed tension between her and Panam.

How to approach this, though? Just coming up to the wounded nomad and putting her on the spot would be unfair and cruel. Similarly, letting this drag for longer could just mean bigger fallout.

She groaned and leaned against the car, cursing when she noticed the filthy handprint on the door.

“Drink up.” Lucy closed the distance between them with three big steps and pressed a can of latte into the merc’s hand. “Noticed you didn’t drink much water yesterday, despite my best efforts to keep you alive.”

V smiled guiltily. “I know, sorry.” She was paying the price for it today, what with the bitch of a headache that was bound to only get worse. “How’s Panam?”

“You should be asking ‘How’s Robert?’ because the man nearly saw Jesus last night.” Lucy politely shook her head ‘no’ when V offered her a sip of her drink. “He has meds for now, but he is lacking in everything else. He needs shelter over his head, warmth, lots of water and equipment of the sensitive kind.”

“Such as?”

Lucy sighed in annoyance for having to spell it out. “Diapers, girl. Diapers.”

“Oh.” V cleared her throat. “Can’t we use some clothes instead? We are near a large body of water that isn’t contaminated by radiation. It’s not gonna be a problem to keep changing those.”

“Are you willing to give him such clothes?” The cook raised one bushy eyebrow. “I don’t know about you, but I like my shirts clean and away from his stink, thank you very much. Not to mention, washing those would fall on me again. No one in the family can deal with the old oaf, even if they try. He pushes them away, dares them to kill him. Even children aren’t spared of his suicidal bullshit.”

“You’re joking…”

“’Fraid not. He wants to die, V. If he was a senior in NC with a proper Trauma insurance, hell, he wouldn’t mind his age one bit. But out here? Honey, I wouldn’t wish old age in this dustbowl upon anyone.”

V felt enraged by the thought of the man approaching kids with such demands. She’d have to have a word with him eventually. “So, what do you want me to do, huh? Suppose you’re not sharing out of the goodness of your heart.”

“I want your help taking care of him. Once we hit the lakefront, the old man will need a proper bath, for one. Second of all, get those impromptu ‘diapers’ and an enema if you can.”

V nodded calmly, though she was screaming internally. Dealing with an old man’s waste and bad behavior was the last thing she needed. She was dying, for fuck’s sake. Wasn’t she supposed to enjoy her last days on a beachfront property with a hottie bringing her margaritas?

 _No margaritas for me,_ she lamented as she sipped her drink. _Only sugar-free lattes from a crappy brand that won’t help me with this headache._ She watched the sunrise and wondered where the hell she’d get an enema in the desert.

A pair of tattooed arms wrapped around her waist. “Was dreamin’ about you last night…” Judy’s breath tickled her ear.

V pressed the can into her output’s hand. “Were we frolicking through a meadow together, holding hands and skipping around?”

She could hear the wry smile in Judy’s voice. “No, had you on your hands and knees.” Teeth attacked the shell of V’s ear and her body tensed up. “There was whipped cream and lots of tongue action.”

The last thing she needed was to be physically drained and horny. Alas, she couldn’t fight the influence of the sultry lust demon, even if she wanted to. “Ma’am, I’d say taking a break from the porn industry is taking its toll on you.”

Judy paused to take a mouthful of the drink, sighing in satisfaction. The sound alone was deliciously distracting. “Mhm. Maybe if I was alone out here it would be easier, but with this hot piece of ass?” Her hand went to grab the mentioned part of the merc's body and V let out a soft grunt. “I’m moment’s away from having my way with you against this car.”

Her voice spoke of no games and pretenses. V wished that her mind could have been as pleasantly occupied as Judy’s. All she dreamed about was darkness. She might as well have died and forgot to pass away before dawn.

“You’d ruin my innocence like that?” V protested, but did nothing to free herself from her grasp.

“I’ve already done that, hermosa,” Judy purred in her ear. “Many times over.”

“God, give me strength…” The merc turned around in Judy’s arms, coming face to face with a rather cute display of slightly ruffled hair. “Flirt with me when we’re alone, please. Don’t think I can take this much teasing in one go.”

The techie leaned in and pecked her on the lips. “M’kay, fine. But once we get cleaned up and have enough privacy, I demand all of your attention.” Her lazy smile held all types of salacious promises.

Half an hour later, the entire clan was gathered to discuss strategy. Before anyone was the wiser, V asked about the enema like the insensitive prick that she was, making both Lucy and Robert squirm. She was in no mood to go from nomad to nomad, so this had to be enough. No one had such a thing handy, or even if they had, they were not willing to share. For good reasons.

“Alright, so I wrote down a list of priorities,” V said, holding up one finger. “First of all, as we already agreed, we will move to the hidden facilities up north. Second priority is drone safety.” She tapped something into her phone and soon everyone’s devices went off. “Me and Dakota came up with a little program that would keep all of us alerted. It’s linked to the satellite – should it pick up any aircraft signals, it will go off on all of your devices. If that happens, duck and scramble for cover. This is the sound of the alarm, just so we’re clear.”

Dakota rang the alarm and woke up the wounded. Well, they had to be woken up eventually, anyway.

Panam was protesting in the background as V continued. “The next problem are meds and potential escorts.” He eyes fell on Xenia. “We can’t relocate your mom yet without hurting her in the process, but we can take you to safety, somewhere you could hopefully settle down with enough money to last for a while.”

The girl seemed scared, but more certain after her chat with Judy. She looked over at the techie and felt emboldened when the woman nodded at her in silent support. “I decided to stay and keep the baby.”

There was a small murmur among the gathered nomads.

“Well, that’s good.” V smiled, quietly adoring her woman for supporting the confused girl at a time like this. “But you will need a decent doc and a hospital eventually. You can talk to Panam about that later, though. As for the supplies, I need one of you to volunteer and take the Coyote to the nearest town and load up on all the meds, kits and food. If there is a ripper for hire, make an offer, but be discreet; the enemy will expect us to make this move, so this will need to be done quickly and quietly.”

Bob came forward. “I’ll take the ring to Mordor.”

“You sure?” Mitch asked. “I have no problem going either.”

“I need one of you here to drive the panzer with me,” V reminded them. “And Mitch has the training necessary for it, so Bob, it’s on you, choom. Everyone who needs anything specific, give him a list of what you want.” She’d need to make a note for herself, too. Painkillers, mostly. And some diapers and enemas, in case Robert would fail to ask for the sake of his own dignity.

“Alright, now for the fun part,” V turned to Mitch. “Have you contacted that Arizona clan you spoke of?”

“Yep, and they’re not too happy with us,” he admitted ruefully. “Their base is past Phoenix, it will take them days before they reach us. That being said, Leopold agreed to lend us a hand and give us an armed convoy with their own ripperdoc. She is very capable, trust me. If everything goes according to plan, our clan will be even stronger than before.”

Robert made a loud farting noise with his mouth. “Fuck off with those empty promises, no one will ride through the desert for us. Leopold is a backstabbing son of a ram, and I will never join with those himbos. Shoot me right now, I’ve had it with you assholes.”

To everyone’s horror, V twirled her gun, loaded it, and aimed it straight into the old man’s face. His expression was that of silent defiance, but the merc could smell the fear on him. “Alright, one less mouth to feed.”

Noticing that the gun was not Skippy, Judy’s stomach dropped. She knew her output was bluffing, but she still couldn’t help but gawk at her for doing something so outrageous.

“V? Are you insane?” Mitch stepped in front of the man. “This ain’t how we do biz around here. Put the damn gun down.”

“Step aside, boyo, and let me have this.” Robert shoved the man aside with all his might. “Finally! Someone with balls!” He put the barrel against his forehead. “Do it. I’m ready!”

V kicked the bottom of his wheelchair until the man keeled backwards, nearly falling off. She grabbed him and yanked him back down hard, then she pressed the barrel against his sagging cheek. His resolve shattered in that raw moment of panic. “Say that again, old man. Big words. You better mean them.”

Something in her deathly calm stare unnerved the man to the point that he started trembling. The kids in the crowd hid behind their parents, unable to stop themselves from watching the merc despite their discomfort.

“V!” Judy hissed in warning.

“This gun…” V looked down at the Malorian. “A bullet from this iron zeroed Adam Smasher not too long ago.” Robert gulped. “A legend of a man, barely human. Yet he begged and whined like a little boy before I ended him.”

Sabrina yelped. “This is not good, not good at all…”

“Death is no joke,” V said, carefully putting the gun away. “You want an easy way out? Take the pills. Have some decency and don’t go around asking children of all people to do what you’re too scared to do on your own. And no, I am not advocating for suicide - no one should ever feel cornered like that to resort to such measures.” She knelt down in front of the humiliated nomad. “Like it or not, old man, we’re stuck with each other, and I’ll keep you alive until my last breath. So stop being stubborn and accept the offered help.”

He looked away, too distraught to respond. He was played, and so were most of the nomads who fell for the trick. V’s eyes went to find the girl with braids and her friends, hoping they never even entertained the thought of giving this man the gift of eternal sleep.

Acting like it meant nothing, V rushed over to the tent and helped Panam into a seat among the gathered crowd before the chief could crawl all the way to them.

“What did I miss?” Panam asked, sensing the lingering tension in the air.

“Nothing,” Robert responded sullenly, wheeling himself away just to stay within earshot while being far enough to have some privacy.

V filled her in and moved on. “Lastly, we need to prepare a counterattack and take our trucks back. For that, we will need a surveyor drone to safely scout the area once we find where their base is.”

“There’s gotta be hundreds of ‘em psychos, V,” Jake said uneasily. “I don’t know, I’d rather just buy two water trucks on our way to Tucson.”

Panam raised her hand to interrupt the man before he could go on. “Nothing against you, Jake, but fuck no. They wrecked our camp, killed our people, and you want that to mean nothing at all?” She gripped her wounded shoulder and groaned in pain. “We nearly died because of them. I will _not_ let it slide, and neither should you.”

Lucy offered her some ice and she gently pressed it against the wound. V thought she’d pass out again, but the woman held herself upright in her seat, eyes still fairly vigilant.

“I think the best action would be stealth, much to my own discomfort,” the merc said, recalling how most of her stealth attempts ended up in pure mayhem. Dakota snorted from the distance. “We can work the details later, though. For now, we simply need to move up north, quickly.”

The nomads agreed, albeit not very enthusiastically. V’s stunt didn’t sit well with most of them, despite the fact that she addressed the most controversial problem the clan kept ignoring for years.

There was also the matter of possibly kicking her out of the family, but no one dared to open that debate with Panam present. V wondered if they gave up on forcing her out for her usefulness, or whether they were biding their time and waiting for a better opportunity. 

The merc turned to Panam as the crowd scattered. “You doin’ okay?”

“Could do with more ice packs. Feel like I’m on fire…”

V took her wrist and checked her pulse. She didn’t really know what she was doing, she just needed to feel useful, to make sure she was alright.

Yesterday really scared the hell out of her. When she looked up into the chief’s eyes, she could tell that they were thinking about the same thing. If she had died back there, V was certain that she wouldn’t be with the Aldecaldos anymore. She’d take Judy and leave, never looking back.

Panam took the ice pack and pressed it against V’s forehead, prying out an embarrassing sound out of her. The chief huffed in amusement. “Geez, you look like crap, V. Sure you don’t need this more than me?”

“I do. Leave it there.” She pressed her hand against the ice, careful not to touch the hand holding it. “Sweet mother of all shitbag Valentinos, I’m burning up worse than you.”

“Uh-huh. Want to check your temperature for me?”

“My high score is definitely higher than yours.”

“This isn’t a bloody competition!”

They measured each other’s temperature and fell silent. Neither of them should even be allowed to stay on the sun, or do anything besides resting.

“You should be in bed, young lady,” V scolded her, wagging her finger like an irritated nurse dealing with a stubborn patient.

“Like hell I can stay still when everything’s gone to shit! You should be resting, too, V. Out of the two of us, you’re more likely to flatline due to overexertion, so if I have to sleep, you better be in the bedroll right next to me doing the same.”

 _Does she not hear herself talk?_ V rubbed her temples. “I can’t.”

“Then I won’t either.”

_Fuck._

“I can secretly drug you, you know.”

“Try it. I’ll have you know that I can appoint Luce to do the same to you. And I bet Judy wouldn’t say no to it either, all things considered.”

V gave the ice pack back, lifting her hands up in frustration. “This is an outrage!” Of course they’d gang up on her for her own good, she didn’t need to test that theory.

They watched the family say goodbye to Bob and wish him well. There were no impersonal handshakes and back pats; they all hugged him and some even cried.

“Thanks,” Panam’s tone turned serious. “For not abandoning them while I was out cold. It means the world to me.”

The solo was not blind to how taxing leadership has become for the woman. She would not talk about it, which was worrisome, but V could not blame her for keeping some things to herself. She trusted her to come to her eventually if she needed to talk. If V could help her shoulder her burden even for a little bit, she’d gladly do so in a heartbeat.

“Don’t mention it,” she said casually, standing up. “Take some fucking pills for the fever, though. I am not stepping up as the new chief if you die on me.”

“Tch, jerk.”

Mitch bravely withstood the onslaught of her headache for several hours as they drove north, but once it was over, he thanked the stars, Jesus, Buddha and the memory of his own mother for the eventual freedom to pass out on his bedroll.

V crawled out of the tank and rubbed her eyes just in case she was hallucinating again.

There was nothing around them but rocks and sand - the mysterious facilities were nowhere to be seen. If Arasaka’s AVs flew by, or if the numerous cannibal clan decided to pay a visit, they had nowhere to hide.

The Aldecaldos relied on her leadership and she drove them all the way here, chasing a complete lie.

“Well," she laughed nervously, "shit.”


	9. Improvise. Adapt. Overcome.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I promised drama in the confrontations between Judy/V/Panam, but anything too dramatic brought toxic energy into the fic so I'm not featuring it. They will acknowledge it and work things out.

The merc observed the horizon, desperately trying to find a proper solution for their current situation. Last night they had to sleep huddled in the same tent with no lights on. Thankfully, she was on guard duty, so she didn’t have to deal with more kicking and tossing in the crowded space. Judy wasn’t happy about it, though. In the morning, she was showing V a couple bruises and drool stains. Trap an introverted woman in the tent with over two dozen snoring nomads and she will slowly lose her mind.

To add insult to injury, the nomads were fairly pissed at her. She made the decision to come here, and now they were far too vulnerable when left out in the open. The presence of the water helped a lot, since no one was exactly lacking in their most basic needs, and bathing in such a heat did wonders for the psyche. V hoped this would keep them occupied while Panam recovered enough to take charge again.

“I never tried this, but first time for everything right?” V cleared her throat and put her hands together as she sat on the hood of her now spotless car, parked in the shallows of the lake. “Dear God. V here. I find myself in quite the pickle.” She could hear Judy angrily yelling at someone in the camp. Apparently her bad mood had yet to improve. “I have no one to spare for scouting missions and I feel like I have a cannibal breathing down my neck with a fork stuck in my back. It’s either that, or sitting in the driver’s seat so much really messed up my spine. Dear god, please fix my spine, I am already suffering from many other ailments and this girl can’t multitask for shit.”

God looked on in apathy.

“My favorite socks are missing,” she continued. “I know she has them, but she won’t admit it. If I wasn’t sitting on my car right now, they would be here, warming themselves up on the sun. Speaking of which, I had to scrub an old man clean this morning and resisting the urge to drown him while he berated me for breathing was very taxing. I better earn a spot in heaven for this.” Not to mention she gave him her apparel to use as emergency diapers. It was a nearly useless peace offering since her actions yesterday inspired unusual sympathy from the rest of the clan; suddenly the man was pampered, wanting for nothing. And she was still the bad guy for torturing him.

Violent splashing made her turn to her left and she met face to face with a bikini-clad Carol. “Whatever you’re up to, quit it and help me with Panam. The woman is insufferable and I’ve had it up to here with her bullshit.”

V slid off her shiny, shiny Beast, smiling at the visible reflection on the spotless metal before addressing the veteran. “How bad is it?”

“She threw a chair at me, V. For daring to tell her that she couldn’t go and bathe in the lake.” Carol pointed at one of the three tents they bothered to raise. “She’s over there, knock yourself out.”

The tent was stuffy and the air inside was blisteringly hot. Panam was lying on the bed in a sweaty shirt and shorts, her dreadlocks loosened from their usual updo. “V, thank god!” She beckoned her to come closer. “Listen, I need to get the fuck out of here, or else I’m gonna die.”

Smirking knowingly, V sat down on the bed beside her. “Look at you, all stir-crazy. You look healthy enough, but we don’t need you to keel over if you’re left out on the sun. No baths for you today, I’m afraid.”

“Carol gave me this here bucket for a sponge bath,” the senior nomad jerked her chin towards the mentioned item sitting near the bed. “Had two already, it’s not enough. To top it all off, I can’t eat anything normal and I’m treated like a goddamn prisoner in here! If I’m gonna be grounded by the entire clan then the least you people can do is provide some entertainment.”

V picked up the few items on the small table nearby. “I can juggle for you.” Panam was about to tell her that was not what she had in mind, but by then the merc was already throwing stuff in the air and ended up hitting herself in the head with a deodorant. “I _can’t_ juggle for you,” she corrected herself ruefully, putting the items back.

“Well, at least you tried.” Even though her attempt failed, it managed to make the nomad laugh a little. “Can’t take it, V. I should be out there chasing those fuckers for what they did to us.” Her hand closed into a fist. “Selling out the entire family to a bunch of complete, maniacal strangers? Am I really that horrible of a leader that he felt the need to zero me and you both for things to go back to ‘normal’?”

“Doubting yourself is pointless, Pan,” V said in a gentle tone. “He’s an idiot and that’s that. End of discussion.”

“But—“

“Shut it.” V held her gaze firmly, keeping her from opening her mouth again. “You’re comparing yourself to him, aren’t you? Thing is, you only questioned Saul’s methods, not his intentions; you knew he only wanted what was best for the clan and that he could deliver otherwise. Kylo didn’t give a shit about that and got people hurt for it – he was out to take control the forceful way while you only wanted to nudge Saul in the right direction. Biiig fucking difference.”

The chief still wasn’t so easily convinced, but V’s words seemed to help her get a grip on her emotions. She was all over the place, probably feeling as useless as V felt not too long ago. Oh, how the tables have turned.

“Since we’re talking,” V said over a small coughing fit, “I wanna discuss something really gay.”

“Oh, uh, go ahead?”

“Me. I’m gay.” V took her hand and shook it. “And I was wondering if you’d want to join me in my club.”

Panam withdrew her hand and looked at it as if V slipped her a business card without her approval. “Is this about me holding your hand? Come the fuck on, V, I’m not into you. Yes, you confuse me, but I don’t really see you that way, okay? Besides, I would sooner shoot myself dead than endanger whatever you have going with Judy.”

“She doesn’t know that, though,” V pointed out. “Listen, I fucking love you, Panam.” The woman looked utterly shocked by the sudden confession. “You’re the partner in crime I always wanted, but never thought I’d get, especially not after Jackie. But you can’t put your feet in my lap and not expect my gay ass to react.”

Panam whacked her with a pillow. “Asshole, you thought I was _flirting_?! _ME???_ ” She broke into a fit of guttural laughter, unable to stop herself. “I am not like that, okay? I have standards that are higher than this,” she gestured to V’s entire body, amused by her offended pouting. “Judy is a saint for putting up with you, honestly. I just…you have some weird effect on me, okay? I wanna be close. I wanna keep you close. That’s it. Doesn’t mean shit, so keep your gayness and leave me alone.”

“What you just said?” V raised one eyebrow and smirked arrogantly. “Pretty gay. It would be less gay if you just wanted to kiss me, or hold my hand, but you want to keep me close?”

Seizing the woman’s shirt and nearly ripping it at the seams, the chief pulled her closer. “I am going to drown you in that bucket, V. Look at me. I like men, M-E-N, dicks, flat chests, hairy pits, awful hygiene, the whole shebang.” She released the merc and pushed her away. “Got it?”

V fixed her shirt. “Alright, alright. But just so we’re clear, I wasn’t flirting with you just now either. I’m testing you.”

“And did I pass?”

“Not really.” V dodged the pillow that would have hit her in the face. “The fact still remains – we both have this weird chemistry going on. You sometimes trip me up so bad I don’t know how to react, and if someone saw it - especially Judy - I’d be in trouble. So if we can help it, let’s just keep our distance and be mindful of what we say to each other. Or you could spare us both the headache and go talk to her directly, please.”

Panam snorted. “And tell her what? ‘Hi, lovely weather we have today! By the way, don’t worry, I don’t wanna bang your output, she’s gross and she made me say this, bye.’ She’d think we’re both nuts.”

“If you put it that way, yeah. Can’t you just…I don’t know, make up a small speech? For me? Think of my love life, Panam.”

“I’d rather not.” The chief took a can of Spunky Monkey from the table near her bed. “Open it for me, my sorry little slave.”

V did so obediently. “Master.”

Panam wheezed, nearly spilling her drink. “Alright, now I get why people think we’re weird. Thing is, I don’t like change, V. I am comfortable with the way we are. It feels stupid that we even have to feel like we need to justify ourselves to others. You know where I stand, and I know that you love Judy too much to ever as much as touch me, even if I literally fell into your lap naked. So, tell me again, what’s the big deal?”

V felt like the weight of the world just lifted off her shoulders. She expected this whole debate to be much longer, much wordier like some Shakespearean play where one needed to monologue for what felt like hours just to make sense of something as arbitrary and indefinable as feelings. If Aristotle ever taught her anything, it was that words were limited vessels for thoughts, and human had the dumb tendency to misunderstand them even in the most simplistic situations.

“I have no idea,” V laughed. “Still bored? I think I got a deck of cards somewhere.”

She beat her in several games and was promptly kicked out of the tent for ‘cheating’, even though the woman was clearly just too impulsive to play longer mind games.

V found herself whistling as she did the laundry for her and Judy. She still believed that Panam was in the closet, but it was not her job, or her place to get her out. She’d come out when she was ready. If there were more tensions, they could handle it like adults and gang up on the accuser. Easy, right?

Except, was it really that simple? V didn’t want to think about it too much.

She found Judy sitting at a table with a mini water-purifier she made from scrambled tech. It worked so slowly that V was surprised that Judy still held onto her sanity. Judging by the aggressive leg bounce, she was close to losing it, though.

“Thought you’d want to go diving while we’re here,” she said as she sat down beside her. The water slowly trickled out of the pot-like device into a plastic bottle.

“Wanted to, but Carol is too busy enjoying herself splashing in the lake, so I have to operate this thing on my own.” Her hand went to blindly grope around for V’s hand and she brought it over into her lap. “Calm me down, or else I’m gonna go apeshit on this thing.”

V caressed her hand and hummed her a song. Judy leaned in and rested her head on her shoulder, all tension slowly leaving her body. When she recognized the song she taught her at Laguna Bend, she lifted herself up a bit and placed a kiss on V’s neck.

“I wanna tattoo you all over so bad,” she said, looking at the smooth skin she just kissed. V only had one ink done, and even that was against her wishes. Johnny’s joke heart tattoo adorned her forearm and the gonk seemed fond of it, despite the trickery it was born out of.

It was a shame that a body like hers wasn’t marked with beautiful images and symbols. Judy could think of hundred options just out of the top of her head.

“Is this about those rose tattoos you suggested?”

“That too.” Judy dreamily traced the woman’s collarbone. “Think I could give you a cat somewhere. And my name, of course.”

“Territorial, are we?”

Judy intertwined their fingers and lifted their hands. “Know what’s the ultimate territorial ink? Wedding bands.”

V gasped loudly and immediately felt like a fool for such a reaction when Judy laughed heartily at her expense. The idea was alluring, though. She liked it. A lot.

Judy kissed her knuckles and smiled. “One day, maybe?” She was absolutely delighted by how speechless and flustered V was. “Kidding, no pressure.” She rested her head against her shoulder again. “If you had to pick one to describe yourself, what type of ink would it be?”

“Now you force me to think? After dropping that bombshell on me?” The merc found it unfair. Still, she tried her best to calm her wildly beating heart and ignore the sound of wedding bells in her head. “I think a praying mantis dual-wielding pistols and wearing a netrunner headset would be the best bet for me. Maybe put a lollipop in its mouth to commemorate my futile battle against Johnny’s nicotine addiction.”

“You wouldn’t be too offended if I put that on my body next time we hit a big city, would you?” She batted her eyelashes at her lover, already set on getting the tattoo to mark this new stage of her life. A cute little praying mantis. It was perfect.

V answered her with a kiss. The moment was ruined when the girl with braids approached them and coughed into her fist a few times to make them separate.

“Gross,” the girl poked her tongue out as if she was about to barf. Just to spite her, V smirked and leaned in for another kiss. “HEY!”

The two finally pulled away from each other. “Hey to you too,” V said, keeping it friendly in spite of the whole silent warfare the kid waged on her until now. “And you are…?”

“Jolene,” the girl said tersely. “Listen, I won’t say it again, but thanks for talking to the old man. You scared him enough to finally leave us alone with his depressing demands. As a token of our gratitude, consider our conflict postponed until further notice.”

“Postponed?” Judy asked in disbelief. “What’s your problem anyway?”

“I just don’t like you,” she said to V directly. “You’re a loser.” Then she turned around and left.

“Can you believe the balls…” V was full on brooding now. “I nearly got my ass killed defending these people. Pulled a gun on a disabled elderly man. Took charge of the clan while high as a preem fucking kite. And she still wants to bully me and call me a loser?!”

Judy cackled and hurried to remove the water bottle and replace it with an empty one. “A little humility will do you good, calabacita.”

“You’re on their side now?!”

“I hate this.” V lay down on her belly with Panam’s gifted sniper rifle, squinting into the scope at the distant animal that was sniffing around a carcass.

One shot, and the skinny coyote toppled to the ground. When she came over to collect him with Cassidy, the thing was still twitching on the ground, whining so heartbreakingly that V wished to slap her past self for ever putting her finger on the trigger.

They have been moving around the lake like idiots for a couple days now, always doing the same shit at night. Water wasn’t sparse, but food was. Furs were needed too, especially when they stayed close to the lake at night. The cold was unbearable.

This wasn’t worth it, though.

“Your kill, sister.” Cassidy handed her the hunting knife.

“I really fucking hate this.”

Killing animals was so freaking weird. Forget about gutting humans in the most gruesome ways, she’d feel awful even if she accidentally stepped on a cat’s foot. This poor bastard was just minding his own business, chowing down his meal. _I’m a monster, and I’ll never get clean again._

She knelt down beside the coyote and put one hand on its head, turning it towards the horizon, away from her face. Let the last moments be of peace, of familiar skyline. Then the animal whined its last and it was all over.

She stared at the bloodied knife for a second, then threw it down as if it was radioactive waste and walked away. “Yep, never doing that again. Bye.”

“V?” Cassidy’s call made her stop, despite her urge to break into a run. “Can’t exactly walk away now, this is your training, after all. Panam would be pissed if you bailed.”

 _Panam would be pissed, what is she, my mom?!_ She still came back to the two corpses. Disgusted and nearly on the verge of childish crying, she helped the man skin both the coyote and the javelina. The stink and the mess were enough to convince her not to eat either of them for dinner. And Lucy would only make things worse.

They loaded it all into Cassidy’s truck and went to explore higher grounds. The rocky slope was treacherous and V fell on her ass more times than she dared to count. Thanks to one unfortunate fall she found a tortoise hiding in the shade and lifted it up to her eye level.

“Fuck, you’re heavy,” she said to the animal, ignoring the vicious snapping of the tiny mouth. “Cass! I found a chonky Shelly!”

“A what?” The man caught up with her whipped out his knife again. “Good find.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, back off!” She held her new pet to her chest protectively. “She’s coming with me, aren’t you, Shelly? Who’s a cute little tortoise? You are! Yes, you are!”

Cassidy watched her in pure exasperation.

“Gonna find you something tasty to munch on. OW, FUCK.”

“Here we go…”

“She bit me!” V showed him her finger which would have been mangled had her forearm not been prosthetic.

“She ain’t your pet, V. Let Shelly go, or give ‘er to me. Choose wisely.”

V snapped a picture of her juvenile child with her optics, thinking she should show this to Judy. She let Shelly go and patted her back to show her that she was not mad anymore. “Go with God,” she said, imitating Padre’s tone of voice.

“I’m still gonna stab her the moment you turn around.”

“Do that, and I will shove that blade up your ass.”

Mitch and Panam called to check up on their progress. While Cassidy berated her and listed off every little complication or dumb remark, V was busy attracting more rare wildlife like the proper Disney Princess she was.

A persistent rattlesnake wanted to befriend her despite her best wishes. “No means no, okay?” She backed away from the danger noodle, calling out to Cassidy for help, but he was too busy entertaining the two nomads who were literally crying of laughter at her expense.

She pulled out the Malorian and took aim. “I will not hesitate, bitch.”

The snake reared its head, rattling loudly. One more snake joined in from behind and V opted to run off into the nearest thicket and hide it out there. Luck had it that there were red ants all over the bush though, and she ran out of there like her pants were on fire.

“That’s it, I’m going back without you, Cass!” She yelled over her shoulder and jumped several feet ahead, afraid that the snakes would get her the moment she’d land. 

The two nomads calling on the holo laughed when they saw her jumping in the background, wildly shooting at something that gave chase. “What the fuck is she doing now?” Panam disconnected from the call and dialed V up directly.

“Need help shooting the ground over there?” she teased once V picked up.

The merc perched on top of her truck, eyes scanning her surroundings with care. “I’m fairly certain I can be used as bait for whatever we need to hunt next time. I’ve been out here for two hours and I’ve had it with the wildlife, Panam.”

“I can see that,” the chief chuckled. She looked much healthier now, much to V’s delight. This meant that she no longer had to call the shots. “We should borrow those handcuffs from Judy and sit you down in the middle of the desert, then shoot or sell whatever comes around to keep you company. You know how tough it is to find animals out there? What are you, a wizard?”

“Is this whole thing necessary, Pan?” V was getting tired of these ‘trainings’. “Survival in the desert, my ass. You’re just trying to get me killed for laughs. Besides, why isn’t Judy subjected to this?”

“Because she is an angel and I will not ruin her innocence by sending her out on a murder spree?”

V laughed at that. “She is anything but innocent. Come on, next one is on her. I’ll sit next to the water purifier instead, it will be grand.”

“Judging by how many times she snapped at people demanding a refill today, I highly doubt she’d mind swapping places with you.” Panam stopped and listened to the noise around V. “Huh. Are those rattlesnakes?”

“What do you think I’ve been shooting at?” V dragged a palm across her face. How would she get in the car now? Could they get into the exhaust pipe? COULD SNAKES SNEAK INSIDE OF THE CAR??? “I think I’ll relocate real quick, hang on.” She jumped and landed on top of a high rock nearby. “I am safe once again.”

“Okay, quit goofin’ around and come back. And bring me a snake as a trophy!”

V cancelled the call and looked down on the persistent pests and loaded her gun. “I’m sure there’s a dumb metaphor behind this somewhere.”

Snake tasted like shit. It was awful. Even the cheapest 0,25 enny ramen packets didn’t taste this bad. Panam accepted the snake with a great ceremony, making her kneel, then nearly decapitating her with her machete as she knighted her as an honorary hunter. She refused to eat the thing though, that was purely V’s to enjoy. And now the merc understood why.

Judy had the pleasure of choosing between real fish and real meat – either the javelina or the coyote. She looked over at the merc who sat quietly away from the group, slowly eating bits of snake with the most tortured expression she has ever seen and decided that crackers were the way to go. She could last without proper food for a little longer before Bob eventually reached their destination.

Lucy would not have it, though. She forced a plate of charred javelina swimming in suspicious gravy into her hand and made a gesture to her own eyes, then to the techie’s to let her know that she was watching. Judy made the gesture back with attitude, huffing in annoyance. This was ridiculous.

She went away from Carol’s group and sat down next to V. “You’re very brave.”

“I have no choice, no one else will eat this,” the merc admitted shamefully as she stuffed her face with the last piece of that horrendousness. “Next time they’ll have us drinking our own piss and wearing furs. Mark my words.”

“Thanks for ruining whatever was left of my appetite.” Judy poked the mass on her plate with her fork. It was tougher than she expected. “Would you help me with this?”

“Hell no.”

“Do you not love me?” Judy was devastated. “V? Please, take the first bite. I can’t risk barfing in front of these people, my dignity’s on the line.”

V, who was almost crying while she ate her dinner, couldn’t find even a smallest bit of sympathy for her. “Too bad. Eat up, buttercup.” She rested her had on her palm and watched her output with glee.

“You’re fucking evil.” Judy cut a piece of the meat, dipped it in the mystery gravy and slowly raised it up to her lips. With every second, she hoped V would step up to the challenge and save her. Instead, the merc’s cruel smile just kept growing. The fork stopped moment’s away from her mouth and changed its trajectory.

V shrank away from the tough meat grazing her lips. “Do it yourself, you coward!”

Panam sat down next to V, mouth full of the same meat Judy kept rejecting. “Oi, ‘s good. Have a bite.” She took her own fork and placed it to the merc’s lips.

Surrounded on both sides, V leaned back until she nearly fell off the makeshift rock bench they were sitting on.

“Look at that, you’d be a great at limbo.” Panam smeared the gravy across the merc’s nose. “Now I got your boogers on it, you gotta eat it, V.”

“Good strat if I do say so myself.” Judy whistled appreciatively and did the same. “Oops, my hand slipped.”

“Say ‘AAAH’!”

V fell down on the ground. Before she could get out of there, Judy straddled her and forced the meal into the merc’s mouth. V kicked her feet in protest and raised herself on her elbows to avoid choking. The thing had a strange consistency and she was about to get rid of it, but Judy got a hold of her face and didn’t allow her to lean to the side and spit it out into the sand.

“That’s my girl.” Judy grinned. “Chew it real good, don’t want you to choke.”

Was this what love was supposed to look like? This was the woman she’d like to marry some day? As she looked upon the sinister smile on her lips and the way the moon and the campfire illuminated her in both cold and warm light, she couldn’t help but feel excited by this side of her. _Like a proper masochist, I just have to fall for her bad side as well._

She swallowed the gamy stuff and took in a sharp breath. It was ten times easier to handle than the snake, but it was…not good. “Delicious.” She licked her lips for emphasis. “Try it.”

Judy narrowed her eyes at her and fed her another mouthful. “Think I need more convincing.”

Panam snatched their camera and took a picture of them struggling with each other. “You’re welcome, by the way. I’m capturing some good memories here.”

“You put that thing down!” V yelled, still pinned down under Judy.

The rest of the nomads didn’t mind the meal at all. Even the kids ate their share ravenously like little monsters. The change of the atmosphere was mainly due to the fact that Panam refused to hide anymore; huddling for warmth in a single tent with no lights were officially the things of the past now. If the cannibals were going to get them, they might as well enjoy the warmth and see where they are going in their last moments.

This night was significantly colder, too, so it was a great decision to have a good fire going. It got so bad that Dakota finally unloaded the furs.

“I told you this was gonna happen,” V whispered to Judy as the nomads took their fur coats and hats. There wasn’t enough for everyone, so no one minded when the two street kids politely refused to partake in the night’s signature fashion trend.

“Since we’re all gathered around and no one is sulking on their own for a change, let’s play a game!” Panam clapped her hands ceremoniously, sitting down on the cushioned chair. She looked…different when she exchanged her jacket for a fur coat and undid her updo so she could wear the furry ushanka hat she inhereted from Saul.

It was as if the nomads suddenly went back in time. Despite the hat, V could imagine Panam sitting on a real throne with a big ass sword in her hand, commanding her band of vagabonds and highwaymen.

“What game should we play?” Mitch asked, undeniably more regal now that the plain jumpsuit was covered with a black cloak with rich fur patches on the shoulders. “Can I be the king in the north again?”

The nomads shouted in unison: “THE KING IN THE NORTH!!!”

Judy scooted closer to V. “What the fuck is going on here on this day?”

“He’s the king in the north,” V replied as if that would clear things up.

The chosen entertainment was a simple draw game. They all linked themselves up to the system that picked a name at random and that person had to come kneel before the chosen ruler (in this case Panam) and answer for a randomly assigned crime. Sabrina decided to only observe, since she had no tech on her and could not be chosen in a fair manner.

The game had to be kept family friendly for the sake of the kids who came up with a lot of the prompts themselves.

First up was none other than the king in the north. He knelt before the queen and grumpily admitted to stealing vinyl records and using them as pizza slicers. For this crime, he had to make up a poem on the spot.

“ _Uh, clouds are fluffy,_

_The sand is coarse,_

_Metros are stuffy,_

_I want a horse.”_

Panam clapped. “Get this man a horse immediately!”

Second sinner was Lucy. She took her time getting down on one knee, complaining about her sore back. “I got bested by the tickle monsters in my corn fields. Your soldiers died bravely trying to fix my problem, Your Majesty. I can still hear their laughter in my dreams.”

“I can’t let you go for such a crime. Your punishment shall be delivered by Jolene. What do you want her to do as penance?”

The child jumped at the chance to do evil. “Feed the merc the rest of the fish.” She brought up a plate with the fish tail and handed it to Lucy.

“Well, you heard the girl,” Panam gestured Lucy to hurry up and catch the woman before she could sneak off. “One more meal for V!”

The two ran off into the darkness. The old cook had surprising stamina and she wielded the fish tail as a weapon. If V had not tripped over a rock, she would have been fine. They could hear the sounds of struggle as the two silhouettes fought in the distance until the screaming turned into muffled whining. Lucy slowly walked back with empty hands. “It is done, Your Majesty.”

Judy felt bad for the girl, but not for long. Her name got picked next and she approached the grinning chief defiantly. “I’m not kneeling.”

Panam crossed her legs and pointed at the spot in front of her. “You will, if you know what’s good for you. Bend the knee, Judy.”

The techie saw too much porn in her short lifetime, and this scenario was a popular BD experience. Panam was either oblivious to it, or simply didn’t give a fuck. Besides, giving the woman exactly what she wanted without putting up a fight was not her style.

“I got a better idea - I challenge you for the spot.”

“You want to avenge your lover, is that it?” Panam looked at her hand in utter disinterest. “I feed her and you dare to complain? Fish make you healthy, you know. She needs it. But fine, I’ll be fair - let’s have a little shooting match to settle this.”

“Ain’t fair and you know it. One round of Gin Rummy, just you and me. If I win, you take on my crime and let me take over.”

“Alright, have it your way. Tch, questioning my authority like that…” She put it as a joke, but the wound was still fresh. Nevertheless, it was a game, and a little competition always spiced things up.

After a very short round, Panam lost her spot on the throne. She threw the cards down with all her might. “YOU BOTH CHEAT AT THIS GAME! I’ve had it!” Pushing her hat and coat into Judy’s arms, Panam collected her jacket and sat on the rock bench next to V. “I take the angel thing back, your girl is a monster in disguise.”

“Right?” V agreed very quietly in fear that the woman would hear them.

“Ahem.” Judy put on her new clothes and sat down inelegantly, beckoning Panam to come back. “You’re taking on my crime, remember?”

Cursing quietly, Panam made her way back and knelt in front of the techie, shaking with rage and cold. “It was me, I ate the last cake on Earth. Crucify me.”

Judy looked over her shoulder at V who held a hand to her mouth, completely aghast.

“Well, well, that’s a death sentence right there,” Judy remarked lightly. “Off with her head!”

Jolene and the kids eagerly performed a mock execution and Panam was thrown out of the game. She was not too happy about it, but she admitted that Judy had some balls for being this ruthless with her subjects.

Robert confessed to liking pineapple on his pizza and was sentenced to wear the dunce cone and sit next to Mitch for committing another pizza crime. Jax’s Janitors of the Round Table all confessed to neglecting their duties in the castle and Judy took their titles and all their lands, appointing Sabrina as the cleaning lady instead, although V would have fit the role much better. The inclusion made the woman feel all warm inside, despite the fact that she was given a shitty job in this make-believe scenario. Much to Judy’s delight, V was next, but the woman would not kneel.

“I challenge you to a Shokugeki.”

“To what?”

“A cook-off, Judy. The one who comes up with the worst cracker topping wins.”

Well that was some twisted logic but she agreed. V dipped her cracker in the strongest chili sauce they had and put a bit of peanut butter on top. Judy didn’t fuck around and put sand and tumbleweed on top of hers. They fed both of their creations to Panam who cursed their names by the end of it.

“You both _suck_ , but Judy wins because she made me eat sand. I hate you.”

The techie raised her hands up in victory. “Ha! Take that, punk.”

V pushed her. “That was so uncreative – you call yourself an artist?”

The two bickered passionately, unaware of how much attention they were drawing to themselves. For a while, the nomads forgot their troubles, burying the petty conflicts to enjoy a simple night of games, knowing that these moments would be followed by another bout of fighting.


	10. Keep Me

The merc was strutting down the path to the lake with a bucket. Judy thought her acting was way too obvious to anyone watching, but she would not say a word to stop the show. She shared the binoculars with Carol, observing the scene from a safe spot right next to the hidden tank. Her output was now bending over and filling the bucket with water. She stopped, straightened up and fanned herself before she promptly dumped the whole thing over her body until her shirt clung to her like an eager lover.

Speaking of those, Judy was vigorously zooming in, ignoring the voice in her head that said that everyone probably had a good view at what was rightfully hers.

The gonk looked to the sky in relief as if the quick ‘shower’ hit the spot. Then there was a loud hissing sound from V’s frequency as the drone went down and thudded uselessly into the sand. V smirked and praised Dakota for her quick-hacking.

This whole thing was far too risky to Judy’s liking; the drone could have killed her on the spot. It has been orbiting around the merc for ten minutes, unaware of the alarm it tripped. Though she was alerted to its presence, V sneakily sent out messages to others with orders to regroup and watch her back as she baited it away from the camp.

Judy ran up to her and pressed a dry shirt and a towel into her arms. “Hide them. Now.”

She acted as a human shield while the merc undressed and dried herself up. Meanwhile Carol surveyed the drone. “Intact and good to go. Perfect.”

“I’m assuming it was not operated by Kylo or his people,” Judy mused out loud. “Otherwise you’d be dead by now, V.”

The woman put on the clean shirt and pressed herself against Judy’s back, planting a kiss on her cheek. “Got lucky.”

Judy flushed. The woman had no shame exposing herself like that and now she flirted out in the open. Not too long ago the merc was making fun of her for being horny, but look at her now. Hypocrite.

“Would you kindly move your ass to the tank, V?” Panam said impatiently. “Everyone else, grab your shit, we’re leaving!”

Judy turned around and stole a clumsy kiss before they all grabbed the drone and carried it over to one of the trucks. V went to join Panam and Judy hopped into the truck and began working on the drone to set it up again. Dakota’s hack must have been pretty clean, because the thing was up and running in no time.

“Fuck yeah.” Judy activated it and made it respond to her ID only. “I name thee Mariposa.” Just to leave a mark on her new toy, she got her lipstick out of her pocket and drew a Mox design on it. When Panam assured her that she was allowed to keep the killer drone as her personal pet project, she felt like it was early Christmas.

Cloaking it, she sent her deadly butterfly out into the wild and watched through its eyes. It could not pick out sounds, but the lenses on that thing were immaculate. She could see the rocky canyon sprawling right ahead. The small overpass barely allowed the tank to fit, but it did get through.

They stopped on the other side of the tunnel and hid their vehicles. Climbing up on the steep cliffs, the family awaited their pursuers with loaded guns and one very souped-up tank. Carol’s work, of course. Judy never worked on high-caliber military guns.

“Twenty cars incoming,” she warned as she surveyed the other side of the tunnel. “Not their full force, something’s wrong.”

They had to see their camp last night – the smoke and the lights were Panam’s idea of a proper bait. And this was a good spot for a quick slaughter.

“That’s good for us, we wouldn’t handle the whole clan like this,” the chief pointed out drily. “Time to start the party. Shoot them to bits!”

Judy rolled her eyes at the bloodthirsty enthusiasm, but she couldn’t help but feel eager to make them pay for ever touching her and Xenia in the first place. The tank was the first to open fire even before the vehicles got out of the darkness of the tunnel . Judy fired as well once they made it out of their burning vehicles to put up a fight. It was over within five minutes, leaving only one survivor who was brought in for questioning.

Panam was beating the guy up by the time Judy made it over to her and V.

“I’m not gonna ask again, choom. Where’s the base? Where’s Kylo?”

The guy struggled against his bonds, bare muscles rippling with strain. “Baby! We came here for the baby!”

“You mean Xenia’s child?” Panam curled her lip in disgust. “Adopt a fucking rock and get over yourselves, you sickos. Answer my fucking questions!” Then she kicked the prisoner in the nuts.

Judy had to hand it to her, she was not messing around.

“Harder…”

Panam looked over at her companions to make sure she heard him right. “You have got to be—“ She kicked him so hard he toppled over in his chair. “—shitting me!” The pain was bliss to this idiot and the impulsive chief could not help herself but to give it to him again and again. “Mother…fucker!”

V put her arms around her waist and pulled her away. “Panam? Happy thoughts. Look at the clouds. Tell me that over there isn’t shaped like a bunny.”

Judy glared at the casual physical closeness of the two and set the drone over to thud against the top of their heads.

“OW!”

“…harder.”

Panam stepped away from the laughing merc and stomped on her foot for that dumb joke. “Should I kick you into a pulp, too?”

Knowing that this kink was pretty much confirmed, Judy pulled her woman into her own arms protectively. “Back off, and find your own torture toy.”

V giggled, happy to be had. “Don’t you worry, me and Panam are just friendly. With a little bit of intense loyalty complex.”

“Yeah, like two golden retrievers,” the chief said, giving V's shoulder a gentle bump. “Seriously, I hope you know I’m not some kind of a home-wrecker. Your output just makes it really easy for me to get comfy around her.”

Judy didn’t expect the confrontation to be this…easy-going. “So you cuddle with all of your best chooms? Are you also slightly inappropriate with them?”

Both women nodded.

“Though I don’t cuddle just anybody,” V said, playfully nuzzling Judy’s cheek. “Have to like them enough to trust them not to stab me.”

Panam suddenly had a knife in her hand, twirling it expertly. “Oh I would totally stab you, though. If someone dared me to.”

“You can stab me anytime…” came a weak response from the tied up cannibal.

“SHUT UP!” Panam put the knife away and turned to V. “You make him talk, I can’t stand it.”

They watched her angrily stomp away, then turned to the bloodied prisoner. V freed herself from the embrace and pulled out her Malorian. “Sorry, Jude. Might wanna go away for a while, I need to make this quick.”

Judy definitely did not want to see that so she followed Panam to the tank and sat down next to her. The rest of the nomads were looting the dead and pulling the gas out of the vehicles.

“So…you and V are really tight, huh?”

Panam took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a bit, muttering something under her breath. “Why does everyone assume there’s something between us? I love the gonk, but I don’t see her that way, alright? Besides, I like men. If we compared how we see her right now, our reactions would be absolutely different, I assure you. In fact…come sit in the tank with me?”

Judy slipped inside and found herself relaxing in the seat. “Comfy.” There were so many little displays and her fingers itched to touch them. No steering, though, which meant—“Oh shit, so you drive ‘em by syncing up? Nova.”

Amused by the unabashed nerd enthusiasm, Panam handed her the jack. “Take it, we’ll sync up and gossip like old ladies about our favorite walking disaster.”

Judy was a bit nervous but agreed. It took a while for the system to link them up and then…

Her heart started beating faster, but she realized it wasn’t coming from her. Panam’s eyes were watching her curiously. “Huh, you take it better than Mitch. No urge to scratch? No ticks? I wonder if you’d want to vomit if we started this thing…”

“I’m used to this, sort of.” She surveyed the systems and then stopped abruptly, realizing that she should focus now. “Right, so, V… No feelings there?”

“No? But also, kinda?” Panam looked over at the merc in the distance. She was kneeling down beside the slumped figure in the chair, holding a somewhat steady conversation with him. “Did she just befriend that guy? Anyway, I just…wanna have a bit of that confidence she brings with her presence. I feel like I’m steadier when she’s around, even though we always pull each other into trouble. Whatever signals we’re broadcasting to the world when we’re together, it’s just the result of me being happy that I’m not alone anymore. Don’t want anything more from her, Judy, and I never will.”

Judy turned to watch the merc, too. Her strongest emotions flooded the chief’s chest – the intense longing, the desperate need to save her. To touch her, to see her smile, _to keep her._ That last emotion Panam understood too well.

They sat there in silence for a moment, trying to untangle the mess of emotions and figure out who they belonged to. Judy knew that the nomad wouldn’t have dragged her here if her intentions were not pure, but the feedback she was getting from her was fairly confused. It _was_ different - much more subdued in many parts and then cranked up to the max in a rather possessive manner. Not in an exclusive sense, though. 

“I’m choosing to trust you here,” Judy said after a while. Panam’s grateful smile eased some of the remaining tension. “Just give me a hand with her? Think I got a plan B, but it’s gonna take some experimental tech for me to cook it all up…Keep her safe for me until then. Can’t have the idiot blowing herself up or somethin' before I can put a ring on it.”

Panam’s jaw dropped. Judy could feel both excitement and some minor clash from her possessive feelings, but it was understandable. The nomad had to be deathly scared of the possibility of losing her, to both death and a relationship that could potentially put more distance between them.

“Wait, wait, you PROPOSED?? AND NO ONE TOLD ME?” She was opening the roof already and would have jumped out even while she was still jacked into the system just to give V an earful about being a neglectful friend, but Judy pulled her back into her seat.

“Shut up, I didn’t propose!” Judy closed the roof again and put a finger up to her lips. “Just talked about the possibility, ‘kay?” The whole reason why she even mentioned it was to make a point.

Besides, her abuela didn’t raise an idiot – she always liked to say that if Judy saw something good, she should not hesitate to claim it. V made everything far too easy in that regard, there really were no doubts in her mind.

“Well, you better not get hitched without me there to cry and be the most embarrassing bridesmaid ever,” she said, eyes twinkling with a sudden surge of happiness for V. “So, what else you got planned there? A big house? White picket fence? Maybe the patter of tiny feet to fill the silence?”

Judy felt a pang of fear in her gut. Planning ahead was only going to be painful in the end; she’d rather take it one step at the time. The idea of starting a family… a _real_ family…away from the gangs, Arasaka, or Aldecaldo drama…

When she caught herself thinking that, she bit her lip, her guilt overwhelming both of them before she could wrestle it into submission. “Sorry, I just…”

“It’s fine, trust me.” Panam squeezed her hand, letting her voice drop into a soft timbre. “Just make her happy.”

The prisoner revealed two things: A) the base was filled with three hundred psychos, though he did not reveal where it was and B) that Kylo was dead.

Some asshole thought he was too much trouble and flatlined him by tying him up to the back of his truck by his guts. What was left of him they dragged back and his son was now kissing the ground the leader walked on just so he wouldn’t get killed too. The leader’s name was Drumstick, because…why not? The captured guy’s name was equally ridiculous. As to why they wanted Xenia, V couldn’t really tell. If they were all men, it made sense if they were interested in female prisoners, but this went beyond that perverted intent.

Whatever motivation for revenge they had, it was gone now. They could survive without the water trucks, and the drone was now in their hands. Panam didn’t want to give up so easy, though.

“It’s about making a statement!” She put her fist to her palm as she addressed her small council. “We come in, shake them up a bit and steal their stuff. _Our_ stuff. Can’t have the deaths they caused be for nothing!”

Dakota calmly raised her hand to silence her. “Panam, we’re all hurting for our people. There has been no time to grieve and the bodies we left behind will haunt us forever. There is no need to add to that number by declaring war against this clan. If they have their sights on the girl, the best we can do is hide this out. What’s more, Robert is sick. We need to get him to a proper shelter.”

Mitch knocked some ash off his cigarette. “She has a point, Pan. We can start planning a war when the convoy arrives. Speaking of, how far are they and Bob?”

“Pretty close by now,” Panam sighed, sinking down into her chair. “What’s up with Robert again?”

“Got a nasty cold,” the fixer replied. “He might die tonight if we won’t find a proper spot. And no, Panam, we cannot afford to bait these people any further, so no lights tonight. We’re back to desperate measures.”

Panam felt like she had little say in the matter, but before doubt and insecurity could get the better of her, V came to the rescue.

“You don’t need an army to go to war,” she said, pointing at herself. “You got me. I can sneak in and do some real damage. If I had someone with me as a secondary driver, maybe we could take our water trucks back. Whichever way you decide, we need to find the place first. Judy’s already scouting ahead.”

“And risk losing one ace up our sleeve?” Mitch snorted. “V, I know you’re capable, but we are trying to save your ass and deliver it to Tucson, remember? Something tells me these assholes won’t let us be for a while anyway, don’t need to poke the nest further.”

“That’s exactly why we should make a stand,” Panam insisted. “We are cowering here like idiots. Don’t forget Arasaka is on our tail as well – the less obstacles we have in our way the better. I’ll go with V, we’ll stall them by wrecking their shit and take some of our hard-earned munitions back. But fine, we’ll postpone this for now. Is there a town nearby?”

“One ruined ghost town is up ahead, but getting there before nightfall will be taxing,” Cassidy said, giving her a shard with a map. “Also that’s exactly where our enemies will find us. Place does not look defensible for a longer stay.”

“Well, fuck.” Panam plucked the shard out after a quick look. “I need time to think this through.”

Judy walked into the tent, pulling a crying Xenia in with her. “Er, sorry to interrupt, but we got a sitch that needs your attention. Sam has been in contact with this doofus for days and this little ambush party was under his command. Show ‘em.”

Xenia sent them all the exchanged messages and hasty love confessions. The boy was obviously scared out of his mind and grieving for his dad. He promised that he would go back for her and protect her if she joined the clan. The idiots viewed the baby as some form of salvation for their clan, as if she was carrying the Chosen One.

“And you’re telling us _now_?” Panam glared at the teen. “You put the whole clan in danger! Your own mother nearly died because of these heathens, for fuck’s sake.”

“He is scared,” she sniffled. “He had no choice but to join, his dad made him do it. Come on, chief, he is only sixteen, he doesn’t know any better. Aren’t we supposed to save our own?” Her eyes fell on V. “No matter the cost?”

Both Panam and Judy wanted to shake the girl for putting V on the spot like that. It wasn’t just her, though, this was a jab at Panam’s decision to save the woman in the first place. Family was family, and no one gets left behind.

V stood up from her seat. “One more reason for me to go. I’ll bring ‘im back.”

 _Ah, fuck no._ Panam grabbed the back of her shirt and pulled her back down. “You’re going nowhere, V. Judy, little help over here?”

The techie cracked her knuckles. “Over my dead fuckin’ body.”

V looked away in annoyance, but didn't try to insist on going. 

“So this ambush was his idea?” Dakota asked. “And he had these people shoot at us? His plan does not include the family, girl. Only you. And it’s dumb as hell, even he doesn’t know what those people will do to you once the baby is born.”

“By then we will be gone,” she said defiantly. “I want my boyfriend back. Sure, he fucked up, but you can’t blame all of this on him. I can set up a call, we can all talk to him. Please.”

“Why don’t you just tell him to sneak out at night?” Judy suggested. She was getting really irritated by the girl’s gonk behavior. “If he doesn’t want to be there, all he has to do is get his ass into a car and come the fuck back.”

“Maybe he could be our mole and send more info,” Mitch put his two cents in, lighting his second cigarette. “Or he could take some of our stuff back. A generous peace offering, if I do say so myself.”

Lucy barged into the tent. “I need a volunteer to help me with the old man. He bit the young Gunslinger and now Jeff won’t come near him. V, I see you, don’t pretend I’m not here, honey.” She turned to Panam. “Mind if I borrow her, chief? At least this one will bite back.”

Panam chuckled and gestured for her to go. “Just don’t pull your gun at him again, V.”

The merc scoffed and walked out, sparing a small smile as she passed by her output.

“Well, shall we give him a call?” Carol finally looked up from her laptop. “I’m curious what the boy has got to say for himself. I’ll secure the connection and hide our location. Just say the word, Panam.”

The chief mulled it over for a bit. “It’s gonk as fuck, but fine. Call him.”

Xenia dialed him up and instinctively scooted closer to Judy.

When Sam picked up, the techie could see the guy has changed in that short time, mainly in the sense that he was now a spitting image of the cannibal clan – he wore that stupid holo mask with a smiley face on it and forgot what shirts are. “Babe! You’re alive! Knew those idiots would listen to me and keep you unharmed. Are you on your way to me?”

Panam snatched the phone out of the girl’s hands. “Hey, how’s it going over there?” She saw him fumble with the phone. “Ah-ah-ah, if you disconnect the call then consider us done, pal. You’ll never have a chance to return and I won’t ever entertain the thought of you being one of us. I’m giving you a minute to convince me to take you back.”

The guy scratched his face nervously over the mask. “I-I don’t know what to say, okay? They’re breathing down my neck over here! The conditions are so piss-poor that they eat each other for breakfast. You even look at someone funny and bam, bullet to the brain, and your skull becomes someone’s car ornament. I just wanna go home…”

“This whole thing stinks to high heaven,” Mitch whispered.

“Listen, and listen well, choom. I want those water trucks back. Do it, and we can negotiate the terms of your imminent return to the clan. One more thing – did you tell those idiots to open fire on us?”

“No!” He fidgeted and looked around. “I can’t talk anymore. Gotta think it over.” Then he disconnected.

“Tch, think it over,” Panam said as she handed the phone back. “If he wasn’t so young I’d be done with him. What about the rest of the clan that joined Kylo? We leaving those fuckers there too? Or should I make more calls?”

Judy restlessly stepped from one foot to the other. “Look, whatever you guys wanna do, now’s not the time. We should just move on, before more of them can catch us.”

They agreed and started packing. The techie went over to the panzer where she found her output silently brooding at the ground. “Old man bit you?”

She looked up, expression softening. “No, he’s just really out of it, Jude. Before we depart, though…are we cool?” V pulled her closer, soothingly rubbing her shoulders. “You talked to Panam, right?”

“Yeah.” Judy studied the merc’s eyes for any tells. “You two are still a little gay for each other, all things considered.” V opened her mouth, panic shining in her eyes, but Judy shushed her up before she could speak. “But I get it. Reminds me of me and Evie, in a way. Just keep it in your pants and don’t blame it all on the girl. She’s even more confused than I originally thought.”

 _At least she doesn’t seem to be interested in a relationship_ , Judy thought. _Just can’t help herself but latch onto her. Who wouldn’t wanna keep her, though?_ She looked at her output, remembering those first few days since she buried Evie. V was like the perfect antidote for that sadness, a reliable pillar for her to lean on whenever she needed it, wanting nothing in return. If Panam felt this lonely, she couldn’t blame the woman for cherishing such a precious thing, never wanting to let go, especially when the clock was ticking and each day V could simply be gone.

“I wouldn’t blame it on her, Judy. But I assure you, I’ll earn this trust.” She unhanded her and stepped back. Judy could tell that she was already beating herself up over something she could hardly influence, but it never hurt to force some introspection just to be sure.

They went north again, riding fast and hard to put distance between them and the wreck they left behind. Their prisoner was left there too, tied to his car with a shard case stuffed in his mouth. Panam left a message with a brief warning, but knew it would not stop the cannibals from hunting them down.

As they rode in the panzer, she noticed V’s sour mood.

“Is this about our short spat over Sam?” Panam asked and immediately knew it was not it. “Okay, no, Judy had to say something. Please tell me we are NOT doing this feelings talk again.”

“No,” V sighed. “Okay, yes. Did she…tell you something? Am I in danger here?”

“Fuck no, V, that girl is head over heels in love with you,” Panam laughed. “Don’t think you got a thing to worry about. I’m just…I think I gotta…address something, it’s been eating away at my nerves for so long.” She steadied herself and blurted it all out in a rush: “Remember when I asked you to no homo live with me forever? Well, you declined and shattered my dreams and hopes like the insensitive dickhead you are. I get it, though, it’s the damn chip that made you say that. Still, I couldn’t help but wonder what life would be like if I had someone as capable as you by my side in the clan – every fight with Saul would have felt less damning if I had you there to back me up, or talk sense into me. So when you called and needed help with the ‘Saka raid, I took my chance. I was the one who gave you that jacket, V. It wasn’t Saul’s idea, it was all on me. I know it was selfish, that I sprung it up on you without giving you a chance to say no, but fuck V, I was so scared for your sake… I simply stopped caring about what was right or wrong. Wanted you to be a part of the family, even if only for a little while. So, yeah, that’s my big crime – I wanted to keep you. I am sorry, V, but I also am totally not, because fuck _you_ and fuck that chip.” She pointed at the merc accusatorily. “Now tell me I’m the most selfish bastard to ever live and berate me for keeping you and Judy with the clan.”

V blinked at her owlishly. “You done?”

Panam moved out of her seat to kick her. “That all you have to say?!”

“You think this changes anything?” The merc yelled back. “I suspected this all along, Panam. You wanted your right-hand woman? Well, you got her, and she is stupid enough to no homo live with you until our paths diverge. And Judy is happy here, okay? If it weren’t for me having beef with half of the clan, she would be totally fine here because she loves helping people. She doesn’t want to leave and neither do I.” She pointed at chief too, acting mighty offended. “Keep me? You got me. She’s got me, too. I can be had by both of you, damn it, platonically with you, romantically with her. Are we done with this? Because I just ran over a rock and veered us off course because you keep distracting me!”

“FINE!” Panam turned away from her and crossed her arms on her chest.

“FINE!” V echoed in similar, offended tone.

Both couldn’t help but smile, though. As complex as this whole mess between them was, they would work on it, step by little step.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double upload because I did not want to end things on a chapter where V is antagonizing the elderly (again). Hope you’ll see these two chapters as a Valentine’s day gift so you'd have a little something to make up for the wait.
> 
> My brave soldiers, your support has been amazing and kicked my butt to really do better and write more. Though I keep on treating V like Schrödinger's cat, let it be known that the metaphorical scales in my mind have somewhat shifted after hearing how much you care about the lovable gonk.
> 
> That being said, I’m putting the fic on ice for a while and then dump the rest here once it’s finished due to:  
> a) life sucker punching me in the guts, burning my crops and cursing my entire family with misfortune in this wonderful year that is 2021 (side note for the FBI agent watching me: hi, I do NOT have the plague and I got papers to prove it)  
> b) you all deserve to know what you’re getting before shit starts to get angsty
> 
> So thanks again, stay safe, and I hope I’ll upload the rest within the next two months.
> 
> *edit* Don't worry, the merc lives in the end. And we're back to regular, bigger uploads


	11. Death Talks

“One enema for you, sir,” V said to the old man, approaching him with an armful of pills and stims. “Do you want fries with that?”

Robert threw it back, hitting her in the stomach. “Asshole!”

“Yeah, that’s what it’s for,” the merc retorted sarcastically, dumping the haul into the sink of the small bungalow they reserved for him. The abandoned town has been their home base for nearly two days now. Had they not found it in time, old Robert would have passed away in Jake’s passenger seat.

V pestered him relentlessly since they made it to the town, shooing Lucy away and promising to keep a sharp eye on him at all times. It wasn’t like the nomads were eager to fight with her for the honor since Robert’s toxic behavior resumed the moment they stopped pampering him.

Bob was welcomed with a roar of wild joy and there were many tears and hugs, just like at his departure. His car was packet with drugs, food and spare ammo. Robert’s recovery from his sniffles was mostly due to the man of the hour and V’s patience.

“Why aren’t you with them celebrating?” he asked, prying his eyes from the small portable TV. “Don’t you want a scop-pop and beer?”

One less mouth to feed meant more food for those who were truly starving, but she wouldn’t tell him that because he’d call her a pretentious psychopath. “Not when I’m on grandpa duty.” She handed him a cup and a pill, watching him closely just in case he’d be dumb enough to spit it out.

The old man swallowed the pill and stuck out his tongue. “See? I took it. Now leave me alone!”

V squatted down on the floor next to him, eyes trained on the talk show about some Militech corpo who was praised for publicly speaking against Arasaka’s bullshit. “Can’t. Besides, your place is nice and warm.” _And I’m a little high on the pain meds._

She felt like shit. Just few minutes ago she was puking up blood. Time was slowly running out, soon it would be a whole moth on the road with Tucson still miles and miles away.

“You’re sick, aren’t you?” Robert laughed mockingly. “Can smell it on ya. That defeated look is far too telling, despite that shit-eating grin you’re forcing these days. You’re dyin’ and that’s that.”

“Yeah, well, that makes two of us. Can we be friends now?”

Robert laughed weakly. “I’d rather swallow a live grenade. What’s happenin’ to me is gonna be you soon. And trust me, nothing’s worse than dying in the hands of people who pity the fuck out of you, especially when they won’t acknowledge your condition.” He expected a jab from her, but quickly changed his tone when he noticed that distracted, melancholy look in her eyes. “Ever read a book in your life?”

V hummed affirmatively.

“I find it hard to believe.”

“Aristotle.”

“Then you’ve been reading the wrong shit,” he said with disgust. “Philosophy, my ass. The last thing I need to do on my deathbed is hear some pretentious fuck tellin’ me the truths and moralities of the world. Now Tolstoy, on the other hand…Ever even heard of _The Death of Ivan Ilyich_? Dreadful stuff, had to read it for college once.”

V grunted in amusement. “Never heard of it.”

“Uncultured swine,” Robert muttered. “This is the problem with your generation. It’s like we forgot the past, everybody is butchering the language and not readin’ the classics!”

“You didn’t like it, though.”

He waved her off. “Point is, the book is about dying. This guy, he is your ordinary, boring shmuck, only cares about himself and his pretty drapes and fancy lifestyle, neglecting his family like it was a damn sport. One day, he bumps his side while nearly falling off a ladder, walks it off like it was nothin’, but this injury starts killing him. Slowly. And this being Russia in 1884, they had shitty doctors. Couldn’t figure out what was happening. So this guy balances between despair and hope, spiraling slowly, but the worst part? His family treats him like he’s just sick. They want him to stop being a burden, but they won’t tell him to his face. Won’t admit they either want him healthy or dead, so they play nice until it starts to drive him mad.”

V thought about how neither of her friends took her condition too seriously, how she couldn’t just sit down with them and talk about the possibilities of an end. To prepare them and herself for the inevitable. But god forbid if she ever said that to poor Judy. She remained hopeful for her sake, but knew the woman was strong enough to handle the loss eventually. A part of her selfishly wanted to be pitied and pampered like a child, to have someone acknowledge what she was going through in full.

“I see you understand,” Robert said, and she blushed in embarrassment for allowing herself to be this vulnerable near a man like him. “We are not comfortable with suffering, or death. When it strikes, we don’t know how to comfort those who are in pain. When it’s happening to us, we want to cry, kick and scream about how unfair this whole bullshit is because death happens to others, not you. Know how that book ends?”

“He dies.”

“Yes. But he lets go when he thinks he’s ready, when he doesn’t want to be a burden to others anymore, as if dying was a selfish act of a child throwing a bloody tantrum. Now you know why I want it to end? Swiftly, if it can be helped. Been suffering for way too long and I’m tired. So fucking tired…”

It was scary how much she could relate to that.

Heavy silence fell upon them, but V refused to leave. It didn’t feel right, not when they were both bearing wounds to each other in this private, macabre moment.

“It happens quickly,” the merc said into the silence. “For me it did, at least. First time with Dexter DeShawn – bastard put a bullet in my head.” She snapped her fingers. “Lights out, just like that. Second time, I didn’t even know it happened. Alt pulled the plug while I was lost in the prison of souls…”

“I’d trade places with you in a heartbeat.”

“Maybe yours will be the death of gentle sleep?”

“Or maybe my wheelchair rolls off a cliff,” Robert giggled. “With my shitty luck it would be the smallest cliff in the world. And I’d break my goddamn hip.”

V huffed out a laugh. “Actually drove off the road into the sea a few times. Pretty high drops, lost a few cars that way. Never enough to do more than bruise me up.”

Whatever guardian angel was watching over her, he or she was a cynical bastard with terrible sense of humor. _I guess they have to be if they want to fill Johnny’s place._

“What about that output of yours?” Robert asked. “She won’t take it seriously, will she?”

“She knows death all too well, I’d say. Could see through me the day we met.” V hated that. “Sometimes I wish I never took the job and just opened up a small shop. I don’t know, maybe I’d sell vinyl records, get some sweet ink, butter up a regular clientele…Meet Judy over a beer at the bar… What would you have done if you could start over?”

“Not get old.” Robert impatiently switched the channel. “Never join the army, so I wouldn’t have to see this world degrade in those neon lights. And fuck your vinyl shop, no one buys those things anymore.”

“You’d be surprised.”

Her phone buzzed with a message from Panam.

_V! I drank Judy under the table, come see :D_

“Guess I’m missing a party.”

“Told ya.” Robert switched to another channel. “Why would anyone want one of those Mr. Studds? All the news headlines are filled with horror stories about gonks stickin’ it into electric sockets.”

“Do you want some tea? I had a few bags left. Don’t actually know what it is, but it helps me sleep at night.”

“Suuure, change the subject. Not suspicious at all.”

V ignored him and went out. She entered the small house she shared with Judy and Panam and opened the small box full of snacks, coffee and tea. When she found what she wanted, she went to the food truck to borrow the kettle.

“My one and only!” Judy yelled upon seeing her. Her cheeks were flushed, eyes sparkling with drunken joy. The merc couldn’t help but smile as she watched her sit at Panam’s feet with a bottle of beer in her hand. “Found a pretty rock, come see!”

“Your work?” V addressed the chief who was doing only slightly better, despite her amazing alcohol tolerance.

“Pssshhh, no.”

Judy hiccupped and covered her mouth with her hand. This greatly amused the nomad, who bent down to press her own bottle to the woman’s lips.

“Ya need more to make it go ‘way. C’mon, chug!”

V yanked the bottle away and put it far from Panam’s reach. “Think you’ve had enou- AAH!”

Panam tackled her to the ground and loomed over her like a vengeful spirit. “I’ll kick your ass, V. C’mon, lemme kick your ass. Put up a fight.” She took hold of V’s limp arms and pretended to box with them. “Bam, bam, down you go.”

“You’re ridiculous.” V gave her the gentlest flick between the eyes she could muster.

Feeling left out, Judy pushed the woman off and straddled V herself. “My turn.” Leaning in, she let her lips graze against V’s cheek. “Hey, calabacita.”

_Hick!_

Laughing, the merc pulled the woman up and pushed her into a chair before she could register what was happening. “Siddown, drink some water.” She planted a kiss on her forehead and nearly collided with Panam, who still wanted a fight. “Move away, I gotta go back and tend to the old man.”

“I’ll come back with you and help, but jus’ one round, V.” Panam brought up her fists. “Hundred eddies I punch you flat.”

“I want in on that bet!” Mitch yelled from his table.

V tried to leave, but the woman kept blocking her way. “Dude. You’re asking for major ass-whooping. Listen, Pan, I’m gonna do a German suplex on you if you don’t fuck off this instance.”

“With your noodle arms? Please…”

V feigned going to the left, then spun around and got behind the chief, trapping her in a firm hug. “Three…two…”

“One, go!” The sly woman slipped from her grasp and did the dreaded move on her. Thankfully, the sand saved her from the worst of the painful collision, but it still left her aching and disoriented.

V decided not to engage the drunken duo any more that night. She poured the tea into the fanciest cups the nomads owned (pretty pink ones with flower ornaments) and watched her phone blow up. Judy still tried to flirt from the distance and was spamming her with dirty texts and incoherent rock descriptions. It was Panam whom the merc dreaded most and she watched her like a deer in headlights just in case the woman wanted a rematch.

“Go check on Trisha, honey,” Lucy asked before V could leave. “I can get those cups over to Robert for you in the meantime.”

“Where is she?”

“Uh, at the latrine pit. Sorry.”

V already felt miserable, and studying the latrine pit for the missing woman was the last thing she wanted to do that night. She was simply not there. Unless she fell into the sizable hole somehow…

She peeked over the edge, shining light on the mess inside with her phone and felt someone plant their boot to her backside.

That unfortunate fall triggered a series of unpleasant events.

Whoever said that love has no bounds never fell into a latrine pit. Judy promptly refused to share the living space with her that night, and so did Panam. The nomads would not stay within twenty feet of her and water was far too sparse for her to get properly cleaned up. They gave her a moth-eaten fur cloak and an old blanket for cover and exiled her to the outskirts of the camp, preferably somewhere downwind. Trisha, as it turned out, didn’t go to the pit at all and was busy stealing food from Jake.

V sat on the sandy ground, sullenly watching the camp from the distance. The celebration ceased and everyone was slowly preparing to go to sleep. The merc was certain that she wouldn’t be able to nod off even if she plugged her nose and whacked her head against a rock. She rolled around in the sand, then resorted to pouring the coarse stuff over her arms to clean the worst of the mess. In her mind, she heard Johnny laughing his ass off.

Fuck this desert, honestly. She missed the city and its many comforts. For one, she had more privacy – there was no accidental nudity exposure (something she reluctantly grew accustomed to), no one walking in on her and Judy while locking lips and fumbling with each other’s clothes, and no one controlled her diet. What’s more, no one would ever kick her into the toilet.

Whoever the culprit was, they must have had some mad skills to sneak up on her. She had a suspicion, since only one person ever managed to do so before to deliver the spider and the ominous message, but blaming a kid meant no one would take her accusation seriously. Guess whatever period of peace they had was officially over.

Their only drone came flying to her, wobbling from side to side. It stopped close to her face and then bumped into it clumsily.

“Shit, sorry, sorry,” Judy’s voice echoed from the speakers she had built into it. “Wanted to give you a smooch. Didn’t work out.” _Hick!_ “V? Don’t get eaten out there, ya hear? Beware of snakes.”

The merc rubbed at her nose and then looked down on her hand to make sure she did not accidentally smear something over herself. The thought of that was far too humiliating. “Nothing will even want to touch me in my current state, Judy.”

“I would touch you all over!” she shouted eagerly.

“But?”

“Yeah, butt.” Judy giggled drunkenly and the drone shook as she was losing sense of the controls. “Gonna keep you company like this. We can talk about _giiiirls_.”

V’s totally joyless expression made the woman lose it. She laughed so hard the drone nearly fell down into the sand.

“You sure you don’t wanna have that convo with Panam? She could use it more than me,” V deadpanned. “You two are awfully chummy.”

Judy raised the drone up again to stay on V’s eye level. “She’s alright. Sides, we got lots in common. Like, she legit fixed a car blindedfol….blinder….blind. There was cloth on her eyes. Ya know what I mean, don’tcha?” She flew her toy to the side of V’s head and snuggled into her. “Chu chu chu _~”_

Realizing that the kissing noises were not gonna stop anytime soon, V sighed and held it out bravely. “Now I know how cats feel like…”

“You’re my kitty cat.” Judy pulled away. “Purr for me, baby.”

“I can’t do it on command.”

Another voice appeared in the background from wherever Judy was. “She can’t do it on command!” At least Panam was defending her.

There was a sound of struggle and Judy must have struck the chief because Panam yelped. “Can’t share ‘cuz of the ID restriction, find your own fucking drone.”

“I gave it to you!” The nomad stubbornly moved closer and her voice grew louder. “V? I’m sorry for suplexing you like that. Can you forgive me, pretty please?”

“Pfff, bet she liked it,” Judy said accusingly. “Would you like it if I did that to you, love?”

V pushed the drone away because it was getting too close again. “No. And it’s fine, I’ll return the favor once you’re sober. Perhaps while I’m still covered in this mess.”

Panam’s behavior changed abruptly. “BRING IT! I’ll throw you into the sun! I’ll…sorry, Judy. WE’LL THROW YOU INTO THE SUN! HA! By the way, we formed an alliance, me and her. Consider your hide watched and protected, 24/7. Operation Gonk Watch is in full effect, starting now. After we yeet you into the sun, of course.”

“I gotta…do the thing first…ya know…” The two whispered secretively. V was liking this alliance less and less.

“Hey, Panam. Can you cut it out for a moment and tell me what’s the plan for getting me cleaned up? We are miles from any body of water. Could really use a secret motel nearby.”

“A dust bath could work,” Panam suggested. “ That won’t be comfy, though. Especially, ahem…down there.”

V groaned. “Don’t need to get specific. I’m more worried about having my cyberware full of the stuff. Don’t wanna rattle with every movement I make.”

“Like a walking maraca!” Panam hummed a catchy telenovela tune.

“Shut it.” _Hick!_ Judy started orbiting around her head like an annoying fly. “Tell me you love meeee.”

“Okay.” V followed the moment with her eyes. “You love me.”

“No!” Judy shook the drone angrily in front of her face. “Mean yes. You’re so _cuuute_.”

Panam was laughing at the dork and V had to admit that her mood was significantly improved in the last few minutes. She still felt alienated and alone, but at least she had these two here. “Look at you, flirting with me even when I’m covered with shit. Weirdo,” she said fondly.

Judy pressed the flying instrument of death and espionage against her cheek again, making more kissy noises. “Not leavin’ until you laugh, calabacita.”

V resisted the attack and listened to the mocking barfing sounds in the background. There was no helping it though, and soon she was laughing along with the chief while the cold metal pressed against her skin again and again.

“Alright, stop it, you goof.” She pushed the drone away. “Thanks. I love you. Go to sleep now, you’re embarrassing me.”

Judy made a sound of protest, but agreed eventually. Operation Gonk Watch could not be upheld as constantly as they originally thought, what with the drone solely responding to Judy. They wished each other goodnight and V spent the next hour finally going through her messages.

That just tripped up her mood further. She nearly went deaf when Mama Welles started to spit out angry Spanish at her for leaving without as much as a goodbye and for messaging her while she was drunk. She hated herself for worrying the woman and hurting her by walking away. In the end of that angry rant, Mama Welles still lured her back with the promise of a warm welcome and her favorite meal.

Other messages were more or less easy to deal with – a simple ‘Hey, how you doing out there? Here’s what I’m up to’, but the last message left a bitter taste in her mouth.

Takemura.

The man really killed himself. The guy she considered to be a potential partner in crime, one of the few people she counted on…addressed her like she was the biggest scum on earth.

“Rot in hell, kuso-ama.”

Her stomach dropped. “Was this all we were in the end?” God, the sole tone of his voice… “Was that friendship just a ticket for you to go back to your masters?!” She wanted to throw the phone away. Checking it now was definitely a bad idea. When the tears spilled, she hugged the cloak closer to her body and sobbed quietly in the dark.

She thought about calling Judy again, knowing that the woman would rush to her side in a heartbeat, despite the unpleasant circumstances, but she didn’t want to rouse her from her sleep. Oddly enough, she wished for Robert’s company. At least he wasn’t scared of death talks.

The ghost of the man she thought she knew haunted her for a long time until her thoughts were disrupted by the sound of footsteps. Someone was creeping up on her from the back.

The mantis blades swished open as she spun around, but before she could attack, the bastards hit her with a numbing stim and pushed her backwards. Her body stopped responding to her wishes and she looked up at the three men who used to be members of the clan before they joined up with the cannibals.

“Well, well. Long time no see, V.”


	12. Wolf Among Wolves

“You’re really bad at this,” V said to the psycho as he held the piping hot iron up to her face as if it was a sword. “I actually enjoy a little pain. Do you wanna be my Venus in furs?”

The guy nodded vigorously, mask changing into the expression of a smile. “Furs all the way! I will be your mistress!”

They sat her on a chair in what looked like an old bathroom. Now there were hooks hanging from the ceiling and pools of dried blood all over the tiles, running down into the drains of empty showers. Thankfully her stinky presence made them remove all the corpses they have been storing for later, so she was spared of having to share the place with the dead. How kind of them.

“You know that cloak they brought me in? It would look so good on you.” When the man’s mask changed into a blushing face, his scolding iron drooped ever so slightly. “Please?”

The plea made him giggle excitedly. He removed the torture weapon from her personal space and went to look for the stash with what little possessions she had. With his back turned, she tried to jerk her hands free from the iron cuffs welded into the chair. Perhaps the joints in the wrists could be bent without serious damage. It occurred to her that she had plenty of opportunities to learn how to become an escape artist, but she never truly wished to escape. Not from Judy.

The door opened and the leader of the cannibals stumped inside with Sam and two other guards following close.

“You! Why isn’t the sacrifice bleeding?” Drumstick went over to the poor Venus and struck him across the face. “Where’s the blood?!”

V cleared her throat. “Ahem. I got an implant to get rid of that.” Drumstick tilted his head as if she said something nonsensical. “Too much information? You boys really need a woman around, huh.”

Sam approached the stash and picked out her phone. “Got the talking box, boss.” His voice was trembling. “Want me to…?”

Drumstick grabbed it from his hand and rushed to V. “The chief will want to say hi. Smile wide!” Forgetting about bloodying her up, the man called Panam and turned the camera over to face V.

“WHERE ARE YOU, I SWEAR TO GOD IF THIS IS A JOKE—“ The nomad took a sharp breath when the realization hit her upon seeing the grisly surroundings.

“Uh, come pick me up?” V asked nervously, looking from one psycho to another. She had no idea what they wanted her to say. Not that it mattered, she planned on getting out before Panam could appear.

“What—where the fuck are you?” Panam’s voice showed so much fear it made V feel guilty for letting herself get captured so easily. “Are you alright?”

“No chatting!” Drumstick ordered. “We want the baby, or else!”

One of the guards took the hot poker and moved it close to V’s eye. The merc shrank away from it in discomfort.

“FUCKER, YOU JUST SIGNED UP YOUR OWN DEATH SENTENCE,” Panam went off. “YOU BETTER NOT TOUCH HER!”

“Bring the baby and we give you the baby!” Drumstick laughed and canceled the call.

Panam was already walking over to the car. “Judy! Where the hell are you…” She found the girl asking around for V. She looked hungover and still sleepy. “We need to go, right now.”

She filled her in and had the girl in the Coyote within a few minutes. There was no stalling, no protesting. Judy’s fury matched her own and she was happy to find out that the woman knew how to track V’s phone without a problem.

“She gave me access after we got hit by Arasaka and the cannibals,” Judy explained, piloting the drone over the speeding car. “What’s the plan?”

“There is no plan,” Panam admitted and laughed breathlessly. “Didn’t even properly talk to the clan. I’m not using Xenia as bait. By the time we come back the convoy will be there, so I hope they’ll protect the family should the psychos attack again. For now, all I got going for a plan is to drive our asses over there and kill those motherfuckers with my bare hands.”

Judy felt like she would puke. Her heart was hammering in her chest and every second felt like a waking nightmare. She feared losing V so much; having her jump from one extreme danger to another in Night City was somehow less devastatingly worrisome than having her face possible death now. Something had to be wrong with her, she could sense it last night. Judy was too out of it to provide proper comfort, but if she died now she’d never be able to forgive herself.

Having Panam by her side was the only thing keeping her sane. She trusted the nomad to give her life for the gonk if need be, even tear the entire place up if she had to.

“We swore to keep her safe and she gets taken the moment we spit it out,” the techie growled, tapping a restless rhythm against her gun. “Fuck. I’m so done with this, Panam. I wanna take her away at some point. Some motel, or whatever. With just me and her – think I need that.”

“We’ll get her back,” Panam assured her confidently. “And then you can elope and do whatever you crazy kids wanna do. Though knowing her, she won’t be able to help herself. Trouble always finds that one.”

Sam stood over her, fists clenched so tightly his knuckles turned white. “I should kill you.”

V rolled her eyes. “God, you’re so stupid…”

“What?!”

“We are alone here, dummy. Take the opportunity and free me. Trust me, I’m gonna light this place up like a Christmas tree.”

He pulled his mask down, revealing puffy eyes. “I lost him because of you. My dad was so obsessed with you that the leader got sick of hearing it. In this place the rules are simple. if you act different, look different, you get killed. What was left of him they ate. I had no body to burry, you hear? And my clan will never take me back, so what’s the fucking point?” He pulled his gun out and pointed it at her forehead. “This will feel good, right? I’ll show you who’s an untrained pup. Valentino or not, you don’t wanna mess with me—“

V yawned.

The action threw him off so much that he gaped at her and forgot his own anger momentarily before it returned and flared up. “Oh, I bore you now?!” His finger was now on the trigger. “Fucking bitch…”

She smirked up at him as if he was threatening her with a water gun. “Kill me, and you’ll never get out of here, kid.”

The barrel pressed painfully against her head, tilting it backwards. “You’re just one woman. What can you do against three hundred crazy assholes?”

“There’s no need to kill ‘em all,” V pointed out, still calm and collected. “Take out the leader, make a big mess and they will throw themselves at the feast. Those bodies they dragged out of here were all shirtless men, all of them psychos. You know they won’t hesitate to eat their own. Let me go, Sam, and I’ll take you back to the clan, I promise.”

Hissing out a breath, he put the gun down and scrambled to undo the steel cuffs. He was crying in earnest by the time she was free. “God, you stink.”

She punched him in the stomach, making him bend over in pain. “This makes us even. Don’t wave a gun in my face again, alright? Come on, get me to the water trucks and make sure no one sees us.”

They snuck out of the place and found themselves in a vast cavern leading out into the sunlit desert. There stood a gathering of about hundred men, all identical, shouting and jumping around as their strange preacher talked about the coming of the Chosen One. There was a big mural of a woman holding a baby up high over her head. The baby held a sword, cutting the umbilical cord to free itself.

“Weirdos…” V could tell the paint was fresh even from the distance. This newfound faith was born out of Sam’s own desperation. They noticed and latched onto it, twisting it around into something sacred in their addled brains. “Nice art, though. You like it?”

The kid threw a pebble at her. “You’re a fucking jerk.”

Sneaking around while being so pungent was impossible, so V sent the guy away once he pointed out a route to the water trucks hidden nearby. “Wait for me there and take out as many as you can for me. I’m too lazy to do the whole job on my own.”

“You don’t even have a gun, what do you wanna do? Kill them with attitude?”

V made the finger guns gesture at him and winked. “I charmed them twice before, can do it again. Go already and keep your head low. Quiet, got it?”

Except those rules did not apply to her, she could do whatever she wanted. Glad that she finally had a solo mission again, V crept up on the unaware enemies with a wolfish grin. She looted the rifle and grenades off of them and then threw the explosives in bulks at the preacher and his gathered crowd.

Torn arms and heads flew in the air among screams of pain and excitement.

“Doom is upon us!”

“It’s raining spleens!”

“My safeword is ‘garlic’!”

V grinned and dove straight into the chaos. She shot her way through, dealing headshots and puncturing necks. She threw the gun away once she found Drumstick among the crowd. The sun reflected off the clean mantis blades, casting a sharp silver glimmer before it got muted by red.

Bodies hit the ground in fountains of blood, covering her in more mess, but she didn’t care about that anymore. That sweet adrenaline rush was all she wanted – a perfect distraction, a perfect solution for the sadness, the feelings of hopelessness and alienation. Takemura and his dumb ass could go eat dirt in a junkyard for all she cared. But of course, they wouldn’t bury him there. He was a loyal dog, after all, and dogs deserve niches. She and Johnny on the other hand belonged in the abandoned filth of Night City. Should she fall now, even so far from home, she was certain it would be a fitting end. At least they won’t eat her.

Drumstick’s mask turned into a pleased emoji as he swung his bat at her with a maniacal laugh. “Finally! A worthy opponent! Let’s kiss under the moonlight once this is over!”

“Sorry, I’m already taken,” V said as she dodged his swing. “My Venus is out there somewhere...”

She cut his ankles and immobilized his legs, but the guy kept swinging. There was barely any thought behind the movements, which made them hard to read. One strike got her in the side of her shoulder and she felt the arm slacken. Nothing was broken, though. She repaid him in kind, slicing deep into the tendons in his right arm. The bat fell from his blood-soaked fingers.

“Damn, now I’m bleeding!”

“That’s what she said.”

V laughed at her own joke before punching the blade through his windpipe and then slicing it open as she yanked her arm to the side to free it from the meaty prison.

She bent down and took off his mask. It was a bit different from the others - it showed many more varieties of emotions and it was black with white pixels on the display. Underneath was an ordinary man with a stubble and empty brown eyes. Nothing on that face screamed ‘madness’ now.

She looted his corpse and found a set of keys that hopefully belonged to the water trucks.

V put the mask on and flexed her injured arm as more guys approached. She gestured for them to come forward and then crouched, using a charged jump to close that distance in a heartbeat. Ripping and tearing through the maniacs, she wondered why she wasn’t properly injured yet. She was asking for a shot in the head. She had no stims in her bloodstream, other than the numbing stuff they gave her when she was kidnapped. There was no way she could have been quick enough on her feet to kill them all off so effortlessly. Unless…

A wild thought occurred to her. She jokingly thought her guardian angel (if there even was such a bastard) was replaced, and her mind imagined the old V looking down at her in pure confusion. Would she ever be crazy enough to be this reckless? _No,_ the merc thought immediately. _She had something to fight for. A solid lead, something hopeful to cling to. I got nothing._

Judy. There was always Judy.

She took a deep breath, her mask changing from an angry cat emoji to that of a face with an open mouth and closed eyes. She needed to get out of there.

She spotted more men lurking nearby, fingers itching to reach for their guns. One of them nodded to her with a chilling smile, exposing crooked teeth dripping with too much saliva. Well, she definitely didn’t want to stick around for _that._

As she expected, the clan was eager to do a clean-up and fight for the new position of power. Like fucking animals.

She found Sam beside the water trucks, restlessly guarding the small pile of bodies. All of them seemed unconscious. “V! Holy shit, I thought you were one of them.”

“Catch.” The boy caught the keys and tried them out on the dirty water truck.

“It’s the other set.”

V’s mask showed a pissed emoticon and they exchanged them quietly. “It fits. Hooray.”

“Okay, now what?”

“Get in, gun it, and don’t look back.”

Some of the psychos opened fire on them but they were swift to leave before any serious damage could be done. No one gave chase.

Realizing that Sam had her phone and the radio was thrown out, V had to rely on hand signals to keep the boy on the same route. Panam tried to teach her how to orient herself in the desert, but she couldn’t understand a word of what she said. Even the stars wouldn’t tell her shit. But all that mattered now was putting some distance between them and the cannibal base.

They rode hard for an hour, then they pulled over next to a high rocky hill that served as their cover.

V skipped over to the showers and checked whether there was any water left inside.

“FUCK YEAAAAAH!!!”

There was water. Lots of it for a very thorough shower.

Sam averted his eyes as she started to rip off her ruined clothes and throw them around. Someone was kind enough to leave a shower gel stuck to the plastic holder. The cannibals sure didn’t believe in hygiene if they ignored it for this long.

“Uh, what now?”

V looked over her shoulder and realized the boy stood by his truck, hiding behind it with his back turned towards her. “I’ll be busy thinking about the meaning of life and enjoying myself. It will take a while, so use that time to call Panam from my cell.”

“W-what am I supposed to tell ‘er?”

“She’s probably on her way,” V said, smiling as the water trickled down her chin. The boy stalled. “Fine, wanna talk, go ahead. You’re scared they won’t take you back, right? I can relate to that, sorta.”

He fell quiet. For a moment she feared he had taken off on his own out of fear of facing the consequences of his actions, but he was still there. The whimpers and sobs would not ruin her good mood though, and she was not eager to come to his aid to soothe him. Instead, she gave him time to put himself back together.

The boy sat down on the ground, embracing his knees. His hand hovered over the call button on V’s cell uselessly. He knew he wouldn’t dial the number, even though V’s caricature drawing of an angry Panam as her contact pic slightly lessened the harshness of the situation.

“I wanted to be independent,” he shouted, wiping away the tears and letting go of the phone. “I never even planned on taking Xenia with me to Night City. Then she got pregnant and I…felt so fucking trapped. My father wanted more of the clan, and he taught me to always strive for more, too. He would have eventually jumped at Saul, we planned it for months. After that, I wanted to leave and never come back.”

“Worked out well for ya, huh?” V rubbed the gel on her stomach and noticed a nasty bruise there. _Not so indestructible after all._ “I wanted more out of life as well, know what that got me? A bullet to the head.” And that was still a huge fucking understatement. “Look, you’re still young, you’re trying to find yourself and now you’re free from Kylo’s shadow. There’s literally no better time for you to step up and try again.”

“Or I could just delta.”

“If you want. But you’re running away from family, not from your enemies.” That seemed to get to him. She noticed that his silence was charged with a tinge of eagerness, as if he was waiting for her to persuade him to stay with the next sentence. “I dropped my goddamn – oh never mind.” She laughed and gripped the bottle of the shower gel more securely so it wouldn’t slip out again.

Sam groaned. “Fucking maniac…”

“The real question is: do you want that child or not? Do you love the girl enough to stay?”

“I…don’t know.”

Well, that was a problem. V sighed and turned the shower off. “Sometimes you gotta dive head-first into the unknown for your loved ones, otherwise you can’t expect them to do the same for you. My girl wanted to leave Night City behind, and although a part of me wanted to leave, I grew up in that shithole. I left once already and realized that the rest of the world is just as shitty as what I was running away from. I was scared, but I left. And know what? It’s not about the place, now I know it.”

“Ugh, don’t tell me it’s about the _people_ you’re with or else I’m gonna puke.”

“No, it’s about the food,” V said sarcastically. “Of course it’s about the people. My advice is: be bold and give the girl a chance. Don’t know a thing about parenthood, but I think if you left now, you’d have one hell of a hard time to ever remedy that, choom.”

She walked up to the side of the truck and knocked on it to let him know she was near. He swore and closed his eyes as she bent down and picked her phone from the ground. “I’ll take this.”

“Please, just move away. I don’t wanna see that.”

She scoffed and left to hide behind her own truck. She needn’t have bothered with the phone because the two women drove straight for them in the Coyote.

Tires skidded to a halt and Judy flew out of her seat, running to the naked and confused woman. The embrace nearly sent her tumbling down to the ground as lean arms wrapped around her neck and a pair of hot lips claimed her own in a wet kiss. V tasted salt on her tongue as she pulled Judy closer to enfold her in her arms.

The techie pulled away, checking V for any injuries. “You’re alive… ‘Course you’re alive.”

V wanted to reply but felt that she couldn’t as the lips claimed her own once more, this time the kiss was full of fiery demands. “Knew you’d find me,” the merc said with a happy smile once they broke for air.

“Fuck, I want…” Judy pressed herself up against her, now fully aware of all that clean, naked skin right underneath her fingertips “ I _need_ _..._ ”. Her clothes were damp as they soaked the water from the contact, but Judy didn’t give a damn. She kissed the merc long and deep until it turned into something obscene that had her moaning and bucking her hips into the woman with desperate desire.

“Can you guys stop being gross right now?” Panam kept her eyes averted, but she was not shy enough to give them space. “Oh look, a hawk.” She whistled and watched the bird go. That was a poor meal and a great source of income slowly getting away. “Judy, navigate me to her posterior right now so I can kick it real hard. My hair will go gray because of you, V. I will look ridiculous.”

Judy placed a hand on the mentioned body part and raked her nails across the soft skin. V couldn’t help the aroused gasp that escaped her mouth.

“No kicking allowed,” the techie said protectively. She loved to torment the woman at times, she was no angel, but right now? Heck no.

Disgusted and agitated, Panam walked away, giving them enough privacy so the two could go at it again like the touch-starved idiots they were.

V took hold of Judy’s legs and hoisted her up. The BD expert wrapped her hands around her neck and let her press her against the water truck, groaning in pleasure as teeth attacked her lower lip.

Panam was about to give Sam a talking to when she heard the first moans and screams. The two looked at each other, embarrassed and flushed. She sat down next to him and played some music on her phone as loud as the speakers could handle. The noise only made her feel more aware of what was happening not too far from her.

She looked at the time and wondered if ten minutes was enough. She was a good friend, not a _great_ friend, she would not tolerate this forever. But damn, those two were definitely having fun.

Fifteen minutes. Well, maybe they decided to take a shower afterwards, she’d let it happen. At least they were quiet—oh, never mind. Still going.

“ _Uuughh_ ….” She clasped her hands over her ears and Sam did the same. “I hate those two so much right now, I swear I’m just gonna drive away.”

Hold up, she could have done that already. She looked over at Sam and felt even stupider for not realizing this sooner. Well, she’d blame it on concern. Can’t have the horny couple alone in the desert.

When it was finally over, the two lovers shouted at them over Panam’s music and announced that V would drive the clean water truck. Once she heard the sound of the vehicle door closing shut, Panam finally left her hiding place and found a very roughed up, smiling version of Judy leaning against the truck with a cigarette in her hand. Her hair was absolutely all over the place, but she didn’t seem to care. And those marks on her skin…

Panam didn’t know whether she should be impressed or horrified. “You done traumatizing me for life? We have a sixteen-year old here, for the love of god. Could have thought of him, you know.”

Sam scratched the nape of his neck. “Yeah. Gross.”

The techie’s wicked smirk caught both of them off guard as if she thought they were peeping on them and was totally okay with it. Now that Panam thought about it, why did she even expect the woman to be shy about sex in the first place? Didn’t make sense.

“Well, um,” Judy said eloquently with a shrug. “We can go when you’re ready.”

V opened the window and peeked outside. “Sorry ‘bout that. Sam’s coming with us, Pan. I’m vouching for him.”

The kid was at a loss for words. The chief narrowed her eyes at him. “Fine. But one more misstep and I will not give two fucks about you being underage.” She grabbed the cigarette from Judy’s hand and threw it away. “Coyote, now.”

Judy opened her mouth, ready to put her in her place for literally throwing away one of the last cigs she was saving up, but Panam was already walking away. She felt V’s hand patting her head in compassion and smiled. “Gonna need more than what we did, V. Hope you know that.”

Sam took the hint and power-walked away.

“I’ll give you anything you want.” The hand slid down to Judy’s cheek, fingers planting feather-light touches across the skin. “Everything and then some.”

And it went beyond the bedroom promises, too.


	13. The Ballad of a Halfwit Goose

The boy was surrounded on all sides. Angry shouts rained down on him from everyone, be it a child or an adult or even the elderly man who joined in but abruptly stopped when V put her hand on his shoulder and shook her head in warning.

She stood in the crowd, watching it all unfold. The family needed to get things out of their chests. Parts of that were pure tough love while other people who lost their loved ones demanded justice. And Sam was slowly breaking under all the pressure.

“Might as well start his own Raffens out there,” Robert said, adjusting his round sunglasses with his middle finger. “Can’t blame it all on his shitty father.”

Tam ignored the ruckus and went up to V, asking to be lifted up. V, who never held a child before, looked around for help but found none. Tam’s mom was too busy yelling dramatically and Lucy was playing some game on her phone.

The merc bent down and scooped the girl up into her arms, carefully supporting her in case she’d start to thrash around, but the kid remained calm and grabbed a hold of her shirt for support. Her eyes were trained on the motorcycle nearby and she pointed to it. Tam tried to make the sound of the engine, but her mouth still refused to make the ‘v’ sound for a proper ‘vroom vroom’.

“Wanna take a ride?”

The girl let out an excited squeal. V started plotting the theft of both the motorcycle and the child.

The family went quiet and suddenly all eyes were on her. Tam looked almost identically frightened of all that attention as the woman holding her.

“What?” she tried to act nonchalantly about it.

Panam’s mouth was agape and she was blindly slapping Judy’s knee to get her attention to the adorable display. The techie frowned as the action made her spill some of her soup, but the moment she saw the two she dived for the camera. Luckily, that thing rarely left her side when they were in camp.

The flash of light dispelled the absolute silence and then the nomads were on V like a bunch of vultures.

“Oh my god, you’re holding her wrong!”

“Eh, I think she’s pretty secure, but that’s just me.”

Sabrina crossed herself. “Our devil has a little innocent child in her grasp now. Whatever shall come out of this horrible juxtaposition, I wonder?”

“Fuck off,” Mitch said without malice. “Look at that! Our shy little girl finally made a friend!”

“You’re talking about the kid, right?” Lucy asked, eyes still trained on her phone.

Panam punched the table and whined as if she was in excruciating pain. “So cute, I think I’m gonna die.”

V hugged the child closer and used her free hand to point an accusatory finger at everyone in her vicinity. “Alright, yeah, I’m holding a child. Big deal, get over yourselves. Besides, this ain’t about us.”

“Oh it is.” Tam’s mother fixed her attention on her, posture absurdly tense. “Unhand my daughter. I want none of your chaotic bullsh-stupidity,” she quickly corrected herself, “near my child. Give her to me, now.”

Tam grabbed another fistful of V’s shirt and stuck out her tongue at her mom. “Pffft!”

“HOW DARE…?” The woman’s forced smile faltered. “Such attitude! Come here, young lady. Now.”

“Think she doesn’t want to,” V defended her, but chose to put her down anyway. _Ain’t my child, what do I care._ “Just don’t yell at her.”

The woman took her daughter’s hand and pulled her further away. Just to make sure she would not stray from her, she pulled her up into her own arms and hummed a song to calm her down. When she noticed the death stares from Judy and Panam, she knew she fucked up and that in some way those two would not forget her criminal offense against V.

“Ahem.” Bob gestured back to the defeated boy in the middle of their circle of shame. “Guys? Focus?”

“Right.” Jake put his hand in front of his face and moved it downward, expression changing from amused to furious. “How could you do that?”

Shrugging, the victim of their wrath looked down at his sneakers. V wanted to yell at him herself just to rouse him so he’d defend himself for a change.

“Weak.” Jolene looked at him as if he was some vermin at her feet.

The boy looked at V, trying to figure out what she would do in this type of a situation. He bent down to the child’s eye level and made an arrogant grimace. “Well, you’re stupid.”

V slapped a palm to her face.

“And you’re pathetic,” Jolene retorted. “Mom? Can we have a vote?” She looked up at the goth woman in a black dress.

“Panam?” The raven-haired nomad turned her attention to the chief. “Did you hear my daughter’s plea?”

“Loud and clear.” Panam took a swig of her lemonade. “I’m still choosin’ to ignore it, though.”

“Totalitarian regime it is, then,” Jolene sighed.

“Honey, they just don’t know any better,” her mother whispered back.

Unable to take it anymore, the merc stepped up and put her arm around the boy’s neck. “All of you either give him the boot now or give him a chance. This debate has been going on for too long.”

Sam tensed up. “You’re not helping!”

Robert moved to the boy’s side and struck him in the balls with his stick. “Here’s the verdict and I’m ending this discussion with it.” Sam fell on his knees with a pained grunt. “Punishment delivered, sentence closed. The boy stays. Now get me back to my house, I have a show to catch up on.”

V grinned and patted Sam’s shoulder. “Congrats.”

Panam appeared by their side, raising the boy’s hand. “I therefore dub thee an Aldecaldo again. Don’t fuck this up.”

He picked himself up and shook her hand in a rather awkward attempt to show how grateful he was. “I won’t make you regret this.”

Panam winked at V over his shoulder. “It wasn’t just my decision. Keep that in mind, yeah? Everyone, scatter and enjoy this place while you can. We’re racing south tomorrow.”

Xenia was nowhere to be seen, which was fairly discouraging for Sam. He had hoped she would be present, if only in the back of the crowd. Alas, she was still pissed at him. V suspected Judy talked her into being more cautious and she didn’t really blame her for doing so. It was still difficult not to sympathize with him, though.

The merc grabbed a hold of Robert’s wheelchair and started walking over to his house when Judy caught up with her. “Hey, got a minute?”

“Sure, what’s up?” She stopped and smiled at her, oblivious to the playfully suggestive lilt in her voice.

Judy looked down at the impatient old man, then back at her woman. “Um, you know…” She put two fingers up and wiggled them for emphasis. “I need to borrow your…scissors.”

“Get me out of here!” Robert tried to move away, but the solo held him down.

“I don’t have any,” V blinked dumbly. “Need a haircut?”

The techie raised one eyebrow. “Seriously, V?”

The merc set up the brakes on the wheelchair, much to Robert’s dismay. “Look, I don’t think you need one, but the side of your head where the shaved part was is getting a bit shaggy. You need a hair clipper for that.” She poked Robert’s arm. “You got one of those?”

The old man flailed his arms. “Brains, you idiot, do _you_ have one of _those_?”

Judy closed the distance between them and kissed her on the lips. “Not what I meant.”

“Then what did you—“

“Oh my god, forget it.” Judy walked away, muttering something about V being able to crack high-security Arasaka systems under fire, but failing to understand the most primitive demands.

Puzzled, but generally unbothered in her ignorance, V shrugged it off and resumed walking. Robert did not wish to be in her company and sent her out, even though she was curious about the show he kept praising. When she walked out of his tiny house she found Jolene there, waiting for her with her gang of kids.

Jax’s painted skull face reminded V of her own childhood days when she wore masks for fun and painted her face even when she went out. Come to think of it, now she wasn’t so surprised why other kids kept paying so much attention to her and why she ended up trapped in dumpsters so often.

“Hello, V.”

The merc walked past the gang leader. “Sorry, I’m busy. Gotta find me some hair clippers.”

Jolene didn’t expect her to just walk out on her like that. Her pack surrounded the woman on both sides as she followed, struggling to keep up with her pace. “Running away from children now, are we?”

“Who’s runnin’?” V snapped and hastened her pace.

“Let us talk. We have an offer for you.”

Jax ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist from behind, but she kept walking. “I need help!”

Judy walked out on the terrace of their house with a cup of Carol’s caramel coffee and watched in stunned silence as more kids threw themselves at V, but missed and face-planted in the sand. One of them latched onto Jax instead and was now half-dragged across the ground.

“All aboard the merc-mobile!” Jax shouted while holding on for dear life.

Now that the weight was holding her back from her wild pace, V had to swing her arms a bit to keep up her momentum, which resulted in a rather comical sight. “I’m a bad influence, didn’t you hear? No one’s allowed to play with me.”

“I will trade you some sugar if you finally stop this nonsense and talk to me,” Jolene said breathlessly.

“What would I do with sugar? Don’t drink coffee anymore.”

Judy dialed up Panam. “Are you seeing this shit?”

“Oh yeah,” the chief replied, equal parts bamboozled and amused. “This is good! They are finally including her. Can’t even remember what it was like when she was screaming her lungs out for attention. Bet she misses those days now, huh.”

V ignored the children altogether and entered the weapon vendor’s tent. “Are my guns cleaned already?”

“You’ve been here like an hour ago. The answer is still ‘no’,” the man responded, eyeing the clingy children. “Martha? Honey, why are you…?”

“We are threatening her!” his daughter replied and switched to hugging V instead of Jax.

“Consider me threatened. Now shoo, I got other places to be.”

But the kids didn’t care. She didn’t dare to put a hand on the gremlins to remove them by force, especially not in front of one of their parents.

There was nothing else to do than to walk out with the extra burden. Jolene tried to trip her when she passed by her, but ended up tripping herself.

“Ah, she got her!” Martha pulled away and rushed to help her friend get back up.

Jax looked up at V awkwardly and smiled, but his clumsy attempt at buttering her up didn’t work. She put her hand on the back of his shirt and pulled him off.

“Be honest with me now,” she said as she knelt down in front of him. “Did you, or your friends, kick me into that latrine pit?”

The tension between them was so palpable it could be cut with a knife. The boy was sweating bullets, eyes darting to Jolene who made a slicing motion across her neck. The merc was not blind to the shift of his attention. “No.”

“So that’s a yes.” She stood up and turned to Jolene. “It was you, correct?”

The girl bravely stepped up to her. “You have no proof. But since we’re talking, we have a favor to ask. You’re not afraid to get your hands _dirty_ ,” She almost smiled at her own joke, especially when she noticed she has struck a nerve. “Jake has been leaving…things around the camp. Disgusting things. I want him punished.”

“What disgusting things?” V knew very well. She saw those magazines lying around. Awful stuff.

Jolene fidgeted with her hands. “Things, okay? Let’s leave it at that. Will you do it or not?”

“Hm, lemme see…no.” Then she dramatically spun around and walked away.

A message from Judy popped up on her phone.

_Had to do myself because you’re too much of a gonk to read between the lines :P Hope you feel bad rn_

V scratched her head and replied:

_Do what yourself? O.O_

In the distance, someone was cursing in Spanish. There was no reply, so V went and asked everyone she found about the hair clippers until Carol admitted to having those.

“That will be a whole packet of sugar and some crackers. I know you have them, V.”

“What the fuck do you people have with sugar?”

Still oblivious to the local economy, the woman tried to steal it later, but Carol was onto her and laughed mockingly when she caught her red-handed.

Dakota revealed that she had a brand new set of scissors, but no hair clippers. Begrudgingly, V took them off her hands.

“Haven’t I told you already, sister?” Dakota looked exasperated. “Money means nothing in this family.”

“You want another favor?” V didn’t like the sound of that. “Never mind, I’m already indebted enough as it is.”

The old nomad was not certain whether this was a joke or not. V has been with them for nearly a month now and she still didn’t seem to understand the basics of trading among the clan. Instead of enlightening her, Dakota excused herself and said she was busy. The sub-net needed reinforcing and no, V was not allowed to help.

“Find me at least three cubes or spoonfuls of sugar and then we can talk.”

She entered Jake’s tent uninvited and nearly made the man pass away. He was flipping through a comic while sitting on his bed, enjoying the lazy day of rest before Panam lit a fire under their butts to make up for the lost time and meet up with the stalled convoy.

“Hey, V. What’s up?”

“What kind of porn is that?” she asked, sitting down beside him.

Jake hoped the ground would open up and swallow him so he wouldn't have to talk to her. “It’s a comic book, not porn. Why would I…”

“My output worked in the porn industry, Jake. Think I got past the whole ‘shy about it’ phase. What’s that you’re hiding inside of that comic book?”

Unsure whether she was coming onto him or whether she was just curious, Jake handed her the magazine. It was called _Macaroni in My What?_ and judging by the name alone, the solo knew she was in for a treat.

“I need to study this.” She left the tent as casually as she could and then broke into a run. Jake poked his head out of his tent and yelled something after her, but she was out of earshot.

Picking a table near the food truck, V sat down and put her feet up. She opened the magazine and waited.

No one in the camp was exactly innocent and most people knew about Jake’s vice anyway because the man was forgetful and left them lying around in places where they drew attention the most.

Lucy noticed first. “You gotta be shitting me, V. In front of my truck?”

Jake was on her in a moment’s notice. “Um, V? I don’t think you should…” When Mitch stopped walking by them to look at the cover and it’s disgusting artwork, Jake raised his hands as if he was held at gunpoint. “It’s hers, I got nothing to do with it.”

Mitch peeked above V’s shoulder and stayed there. The two of them seemed entranced. Horrified, but unable to look away. Seeing that, Lucy couldn’t help but put the pot aside and come take a look for herself.

And then there were three.

“Flip over to the next page,” Mitch urged.

She did.

“Shit, flip it back!”

“What the hell is that supposed to be?” Lucy nabbed the magazine out of her hands and twisted it to the side. “Now it makes sense. Look, I figured it out.”

The two made small ‘aaahs’ of wonder. “Clever.”

Jake played along, but couldn’t fit into the small space above V’s shoulders since there were two people already peeking over them. He sat down next to her and tried to think of a clever way to end this fiasco.

Then Judy found them and got mighty pissed. “So this is what you’ve been up to all day?!”

V couldn’t pay attention to her. The pages were too graphic and she needed to take a moment to wrap her head around what she was seeing. The techie yanked it out of her hands and had to face three disappointed perverts at once.

“Give it back this instance,” Lucy commended.

“Why are you reading this _together_?” Judy felt sick to her stomach when she noticed what they gawked at. “Ah, fuck. Not this shit again.” She threw it back and went to grab a bottle of something strong.

“What did she mean by that?” Mitch asked.

“Probably encountered it on the porn market before,” V replied and went back to ogling the pages. “Maybe there’s a BD version on Jig Jig street. Some illegal stuff, I dunno.”

Jake’s eyes lit up. “There’s a BD?!”

No one paid him much attention. Within ten minutes, V had Panam, Bob, Cassidy and Jeff all fight for a peek at the culinary crimes against the human body and the crowd alone gathered more attention. Someone even openly called the magazine Jake’s, so the man had nowhere to hide and nearly fainted from the raw exposure of his shame.

“Hey, Jake. Can I borrow this?” Bob asked, pointing at the filth.

“I’m the chief and I call dibs,” Panam said and took it from V’s hands, patting the girl’s cheek when she noticed the devastated look on her face. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I gotta go and do some light reading.”

Jake gave up and went back to his tent, his face so red he looked like a tomato. The kids who watched the gathering from a safe distance beckoned V over and handed her a whole packet of sugar for a job well done.

“Pleasure doing biz with you,” Jolene said and for a moment V thought she heard Regina instead of this little girl.

V ran over to Dakota and exchanged the scissors for three spoonfuls. When she came over to her and Judy’s, she found the woman drinking directly from a bottle of tequila while sprawled out on the couch.

“Babe?”

“What?” Judy whined.

V proudly presented her with her purchase. “I got you those scissors.” She snipped with them a few times in the complete silence of the room.

They looked at each other wordlessly for a hot second before Judy covered her face with her palm, thinking she was gonna cry. “God, you’re so…” She let go of the bottle and pulled her top off, undoing her bra in one a fluid motion. “…stupid”

The moron finally succeeded in reading the room, but by then she was already being pushed onto the bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't mind me, just doing multichapter uploads to get as much out as I can while I'm not busy


	14. The Ripperdoc

“And you really believe he’s changed?”

Judy’s question seemed to shake the merc’s good mood. They were sitting alone by their own small campfire, sharing the last pack of spicy crackers as they watched the rest of the clan buzz with excitement.

Their new ripper and her armed convoy were bound to arrive any minute. Panam has made them ride almost nonstop to get down to the lake again to refill the water trucks, deciding they should rendezvous there.

V chewed thoughtfully, eating her cracker sideways, which irritated Judy immensely. “I believe he’s traumatized enough as it is. Whether he has changed or not, who can say.” She licked her finger clean, unaware of her lover’s lingering gaze. “Why are you asking?”

“Because he should be held accountable?” Judy retorted matter-of-factly, holding out her own finger to be licked. “Put your mouth to work, chica.”

Surprised by the boldness, V frowned up at her. “How are you still horny?” They’ve been at it for two days like some hormone-crazed teenagers. While the merc had no problem indulging her personal succubus, a girl sometimes wants a cuddle and a movie.

Judy put her hand away and bit off half of V’s cracker the moment she awkwardly slotted it into her own mouth.

“Umph!”

“Stop worryin’ me so often and maybe I won’t need so much stress relief,” she said once she swallowed the stuff and washed it down with soda. “Talked to the girl. Sam keeps bothering her, can’t give her space even when she tells him nicely. The stuff he did to her before we even joined the clan…” She shook her head in disgust. “V, that boy is not right in the head. Snotty little brat never took her seriously, considered her to be his plaything only. Why do you even defend him?”

V’s arm wrapped around her waist and Judy was pulled closer until they were side by side. “Did I ever tell you how much I love you?”

“You’re deflecting.”

“Am I?”

“V…”

The merc snorted. “Fine. The truth is, I feel bad for the idiot. I see myself in him, and I can’t just stand by and watch as the whole clan ostracizes him. That is one sure way to make a monster out of anyone – by making them feel like an outsider. I’m not saying he should resume his relationship with Xenia, though. Don’t care, not my mess.”

Judy reached into the bowl at their feet. “Last one.” She held the cracker up and offered it to V. “For you, you big softie.”

The merc was no softie, or so she liked to think. She took a hold of the cracker and carefully broke it into two identical halves. “For _us_. And don’t call me that or I’m gonna cry.”

They finished their last emergency snack and wiped their hands clean. By then there was a rumbling sound of vehicles approaching. Everyone went to take a look at the new arrivals who were all greeted by Panam and Mitch like old friends. The armed convoy was actually a much smaller procession of nomads with turrets on top of each armored vehicle.

Seven new people gathered before the waiting clan, only one of them a woman. The ripper had long brown hair tied into a ponytail and she wore what looked like an army scout uniform with many scalpels and sharp-looking tools strapped to her belt. This one clearly meant business.

“At long last!” she yelled and spread her arms wide, running straight for V. “I am so incredibly lucky to finally get my hands on the Relic – I mean, hello, stranger, my name is Zoe.” She was shaking V’s hand so hard she accidentally pulled her forward and the two nearly collided against each other. “Let me poke around that pretty head of yours. Is now a good time? Of course it is! Let’s go!”

Judy pulled her woman out of Zoe’s grasp and cleared her throat. “Getting a bit ahead of yourself there, doc.”

Zoe looked puzzled. “I thought she was running out of time, was I wrong?” The question stunned Judy so much she let go of V and nearly caused her to land ass-first in the dirt.

“Dude!”

Ignoring the protesting merc, Zoe turned to Mitch. “Point me to your med station, STAT. I refuse to wait any longer!” She grabbed V’s arm and dragged her with her as Mitch guided them away.

Judy rushed after them, unnerved by the aggressive behavior and by V’s lack of resistance. Either she was not feeling well enough to put up a fight, or she was simply too stunned.

They entered the command truck and V made a show of reluctantly sitting her ass down on the chair. “So, my tooth has been hurting a bit lately…”

Zoe hit her with an anesthetic and the merc went limp. “Your optics are damaged, can see it from a mile away,” she said, grinning like a kid who just broke into a candy shop. “Ooh, mantis blades. Ever scaled a wall with those? Don’t recommend doing that, weaker models break easily.”

Judy tapped on her shoulder. “Um, do you mind walking me through this? I’m her output, wanna know what you’re doing to my girl before you start sawing into her ten minutes after you introduce yourself.”

“WHAT’S WRONG WITH MY OPTICS?” V asked calmly.

“Nothing much, they have been slightly damaged by the amount of UV exposure out here in the desert.” The ripper then turned to Judy as she pulled on rubber gloves. “I’m gonna be honest with you – I will need to make a very, _very_ thorough checkup.” Judy looked down at the gloves in horror. “If her condition is as bad as I’ve heard, I gotta do unspeakable things to her body and pull as much data out of her head as possible, so if she has something embarrassing on her data cache…”

“Judy, get me out of here,” V pleaded, unable to move. “Also, wasn’t jokin’ about the tooth. Hello?”

Zoe kept chatting with Judy as if she didn’t hear her. “You will probably prefer not to be here when I start. Like, right now. Immediately.”

Putting her hands on her hips, the techie refused to move out of the truck. “I wanna know. I need to. I’m trying to save this gonk by prepping tech for brain plasticity manipulation. Got the coprocessor blueprints, imbedded with raw BD neural transmitters; made that from scratch myself, just gotta know if she can handle it for testing.”

Zoe’s attitude towards her shifted dramatically. Seeing her as a fellow nerd now, the ripper handed her a second pair of gloves. “Consider me impressed. Never even thought of combining those two things together, let alone…ah, I see! Help me with the biomon scan, would you?”

V lost all hope of keeping up with their gibberish as the two kept exchanging Relic-based hypothesis. She sat in the chair, quietly submissive and very uncomfortable the entire time. Judy stepped out of the truck once Zoe started to do some really intrusive things, and she resisted the urge to rush back in when she heard V’s loud complaints.

Once it was done, the camp was already asleep. The checkup left V so exhausted she nodded off on her way to their new tent, which was kindly provided by the nomads who didn’t want to see them naked when they were in such an aggressive rut lately. Judy supported her weight but couldn’t save her from the fall, and the two tumbled down into the sand just a few feet away from their shelter.

Panam and one of the Bradors witnessed the fall from the bar truck where they sat and drank. The chief jumped over the counter and helped Judy up. “Do you not tie your shoe laces?”

Judy accepted the help and spat out some sand. “Please tell me she fell asleep…” She dove down and checked the merc’s pulse. “I need to get laid.” Her own lifespan was in danger if the woman kept being this dramatic all the time.

Panam’s new friend came over and propped the merc up before the chief took her second arm and helped him lift her up. “What’s wrong with her?”

“Ah, you know, she’s a narcoleptic.” Panam winked at Judy conspiratorially. “Fell asleep on me like that once already. If she was aware of where she was sleeping, though, she’d start freaking the fuck out. Our little hygiene freak doesn’t like dust very much.”

Judy fell behind and watched them go, feeling utterly drained. After seeing the extent of the damage left by Silverhand’s dumb engram, her confidence in her plan wavered significantly. Even if she succeeded, V’s body needed proper medical attention. Zoe, on the other hand, kept blubbering about how her chances of survival were still there, however miniscule they might be. More specific information would be pulled out of the data she has collected in a few days. But until then…

The body between the two nomads seemed so fucking lifeless. The cute cracker hoarder definitely did not deserve this, not by a long shot. Especially when there were so many scumbags in the world whose demise would only prosper the natural flow of things.

How was this fair? That this one immaculately imperfect gonk had to fight for having a future? That Judy, who has never loved anyone as much as she loved her was to lose her to this rigged game of ‘who’s got the shittiest luck on the planet’?

She wanted a nice, small house. They’d furnish it together and bicker over the stupidest details. She’d paint the walls and then paint on her body with brushes and bright colors. She'd make love to her whenever the mood hit them, no longer hiding or having to keep quiet. They could get drunk and blast some music until the walls would shake, dancing around and shouting and the world outside would fall away. There would be no hustle for cash, no need for V to ever risk her life for ennies. Just…a nice home for the two of them.

_Home…_

Panam snapped her fingers in front of Judy’s face and she realized they were standing in their tent and the merc was already tucked in the bed. “You alright, Punchin’ Judy?”

“Yeah…” She felt uncomfortable with the stranger in their presence. “Thanks for the help.”

The chief wrapped an arm around her shoulders and walked her out of the tent. “You’re a terrible liar, you know that?” She squeezed her a little, looking at her like she was an open book. “Hey, Gav? Can you give us a moment?”

The man nodded, sparing her a sweet smile before he departed.

Panam led her to her own tent and sat her down on the bed. She poured them both some whiskey and they clinked their glasses without a toast. Judy couldn’t bring herself to drink though, and she kept staring into the glass as if it was a bottomless well.

“She will be fine,” Panam seemed very confident of that. “Zoe is one of the best – albeit her clan admitted to wanting her gone for her…eccentricity. But she will keep your girl alive and help us once we reach Tucson.”

“How can you be sure of that?”

“I’m sure because I won’t rest until I get her all the help she can get, even if I have to drive her to every capable ripper in Arizona and beyond.” Her aggressive resolve made Judy smile. “And I know you’ll be there to help me, too. See? Things are looking up. Operation Gonk Watch is still running.”

Judy swirled the liquid in her glass. “That’s us takin’ care of her physical well-being, but somethin’s not right, Panam. I can see it in her eyes. Saw it once before, in the eyes of a woman I lost back in Night City. Scares the fuck outta me.” She sighed. “It’s like she’s given up and only humoring us because she doesn’t want to upset anyone.”

“We both know she’s not a quitter, though,” Panam reminded her and made herself comfortable on the bed. “And she’ll do anything for you, girl. Just let her figure things out. Now, on a more cheerful note – we got more drones! So you’re no longer on scouting duty.”

“Deflecting?” Judy pinched the bridge of her nose. “Panam, I’m telling you, this shit is serious—“

“Judy? Don’t.” The chief looked at her sternly. “Have a little faith in her, me, and Zoe as well. Now go get some sleep, I’m sure V won’t kick much in her current state.”

Knowing that the woman was out of ideas about how to make her feel better, Judy left. The moon was full, shining bright on the wasteland around her. From some tents, she heard hushed whispers, from others there were signs of restless tossing, snoring, and sounds of muted music. Her own tent was utterly quiet and she dreaded going inside for a moment, wishing she could instead stay with Panam. It was a stupid fear though, and she forced herself to go inside and face the merc.

She shed her clothes and got under the covers, pressing herself as close as possible to her until they fit together like two pieces of a puzzle. The steady heartbeat destroyed whatever sick tension she had previously felt, working so much better than Panam’s wonderful reassurances. She chastised herself for losing faith so easily and kissed V’s forehead.

“You're mine,” she whispered protectively to the sleeping girl. “Forever.” She held her close, quietly tearing that thing walking in V's shadow apart by sheer will. Death would not touch her, not while she breathed.

V was more than happy to be pampered the entire morning. Judy was feeding her breakfast one spoonful at the time and sharing her delicious coffee, despite Carol’s death stares. She had Judy in her lap and the woman did not move away even once they were done with their breakfast. She snuggled closer as they gossiped about the nomads, exchanging conspiratorial whispers. They mostly talked about Panam’s new boy toy who followed her around reverently. They bickered and teased each other, which often resulted in Panam witch-laughing until her eyes watered with tears.

“Suspiciously quick chemistry right there,” Judy noted. “It’s honestly disgusting to watch.”

“Horrendous,” V agreed.

“ _Straight_.”

“Ugh.”

Both women shuddered and made appalled grimaces as they watched Panam lean against the command truck and smile up at the tall hunk of muscles with pretty eyes.

Sabrina moved her chair closer to their table. “I am sorry, but I need to sit here for a while lest the maniac comes after me.”

The maniac turned out to be Zoe who was terrorizing the entire clan one nomad at the time. She was at Robert’s side now, shining a light into his pupils. The old man poured his tea over her shoes to make her stop, but all that got him was a loud reprimand for using the enema incorrectly and hurting himself in the process. Humiliated, Robert made eye contact with V, silently asking for help. She shook her head and watched him squirm with mock indifference. If she had to suffer Zoe’s ‘thoroughness’, then so did everyone else.

“Why do you think she’ll leave you alone when you’re near us exactly?” V asked, though she suspected it was because of the fact that she was a much more interesting specimen for prodding in the name of science, which made Sabrina practically invisible in her proximity.

“I just feel like we need to catch up. Your chakras are rather clear today.” Sabrina was pleased by this. “Maybe the weather is the cause of such a happy mood?”

“Ahem.” Judy wrapped her arms around her output’s neck. She was wearing her shorts again, letting V trace idle patterns all over her naked skin. Panam’s warning about snakes be damned, she wanted V to drool at the sight of her exposed legs. And it was working very well.

“I wonder,” V mused, giving Judy a mischievous smile. She traced a heart over the smooth knee.

There was a sound of urgent distress. The three women looked down and found Tam looking up at them with puffed up cheeks, hands raised in a silent plea to be held. Judy would not move from the warm lap though, not even for someone this adorable.

“Tim Tam!” V leaned to the side and ruffled the girl’s hair, making her laugh. “Good morning!”

Judy smiled and nuzzled V’s cheek. “I could just eat you up right now.”

“Jude, not in front of the kid,” V whispered, utterly scandalized.

“I can hear you as well,” Sabrina said in discomfort.

To make up for her reluctance to move, Judy gave the child the extra pudding Lucy slipped them under the table just so no one would accuse her of favoritism. “Here ya go, tiny one. It’s chocolate.”

The kid gazed at the small container in confusion and shook it just to see if there wasn’t a toy inside. Judy took it out of her hand, opened it, and fed her a spoonful just like she did with V. The kid licked the spoon clean and wordlessly asked for more.

“Can I feed her, too?” V asked politely as if Judy would ever say no to that.

They switched every turn and Tam was blubbering happily at their feet until the pudding was gone and with that they lost her interest. She ran off to the parked motorcycles just to admire them and pat them inquisitively.

The sand to their left started to part to the side, revealing a huge secret shaft that yawned open. It could easily store a tank. Marco stepped out with a cup of coffee in his hand, clad in pajamas and a bathrobe. “Good morning,” he greeted them with a yawn.

“Morning” the three women echoed back casually.

He scratched his lower back and walked out of the camp towards the lake.

Then it finally hit them.

“What the fuck?!” V stared at the closing door, pissed off and curious at the same time. “Oh, I’m gonna kill him.” The facilities they kept looking for were right under them this entire time. Lovely.

Zoe ignored the whole spectacle, presuming that the nomads knew about the secret entrance. When she appeared by V’s side, her eyes were shining with malicious, eager intent. “Your turn, Judy. Chop, chop, we have no time to waste.” She clapped her hands and bullied the woman out of V’s lap.

“Oh thank god,” Sabrina said shakily and retreated as fast as her legs allowed.

Judy wished she could do the same. “I’m alright, thanks.” But Zoe was not listening. The ripper spun her around and began pushing her towards the med center. “Seriously, there’s no need—“

“Allow me to make that judgment for myself.” Zoe ordered her to sit down in the chair, but before the ripper could get to work, V yanked her out and pressed her against the wall of the truck, trapping her there by leaning against it with one hand. “Ah, my lovely specimen, it’s not your turn yet.” She pinched the merc’s cheek and tried to duck out, but failed.

V didn’t find it amusing. Her expression was dead serious. “Let’s make one thing clear,” she said, voice dropping into a threatening rumble. “You do that thing with the tweezers to her and I’m going to break your hands. Repeatedly. Got it?”

Zoe’s attention was somewhere else, though. “My, I can smell citrus! Such thorough skincare out here in the desert, so refreshing! Well, that’s one less concern on your long list of medical problems.”

“I wasn’t joking around, Zoe. Leave her be, only do what you must – no excessive prodding. Got it?”

The brunette put a hand to her face and pushed her back. "I’m not trying to harm her, V. Fine, since you asked, I’ll go easy on her. For now.”

V stepped back and couldn’t believe the woman was so immune to her best threatening act. She hoped Judy would be safe with her and went running after Marco. His trail stretched all the way to the lake and led into the water. His coffee cup lay abandoned in the sand and the man himself seemed to have disappeared.

They held a wake for the deceased that night. The makeshift altar was full of lit candles and personal items of those they left behind. Panam spoke of each soul that departed, sharing stories of fond memories that elicited a few sober laughs. Sabrina and Dakota spoke a few words about the dead too, offering a more spiritual goodbye.

Judy stood beside V, one arm wrapped around her waist. The girl was quiet and introspective, but at least no one bothered to point fingers at her and play the blame game again. Time seemed to have healed some of those wounds, though Sam still received many sharp stares that made him shrink into the background.

“Does anyone have something they’d like to say?” Dakota asked.

V pulled herself away from her girlfriend and approached the fixer. “Yes.” Judy watched her anxiously. “I wish I had more time to get to know all those faces I never talked to. And I owe Teddy a great debt, considering he jumped at the chance to help me without ever wanting anything in return.” She took a candle from the old woman and lit it herself, adding it to the rest of them. “Rest easy, choom. I’m sorry.”

Next week went by in a blur. V had Sam stuck to her side like an eager apprentice and even though she found it annoying at first, she let the kid follow her around and put him to work. Apart from him, she also had Robert grumpily asking for attention and the three of them formed a reluctant gang of fools. They could be seen hanging out on their own away from the group in the evenings, often being found in rather strange situations like with Sam lying face-down in the sand, whining about his problems while the two idiots pretended to listen. V often wore her psycho mask and Robert grew strangely fond of the dunce cone. Panam tried to figure out what the fuck was going on with those three, but decided that she didn’t want to know. Every family has its weirdos.

By then they hit a proper, highly populated town, stocking up on supplies and renting the motel until it was packed. V and Judy disappeared from sight for as long as they had the privacy of a decent bedroom and shamefully enough, Panam and Gav weren’t exactly sneaky either. The two women cursed the paper-thin walls and their fun was thusly utterly ruined. Judy decided to join V's weird gang for that night, if only to escape the traumatic experience of Panam’s raging libido. It was fair, though, she had to admit that at least. An eye for an eye.

V watched the guy with suspicion in the following day, pulling him aside to whip out the Malorian and aim it at his crotch.

“Hurt her and I’ll shoot your dick off. Got it?”

The man instinctively backed away. “Right, won’t even think about it.”

She put the gun away and patted his shoulder. “Good to hear.” She turned away casually and whistled as she left the man standing there in mild terror.

Panam seemed happy though, and that was all that mattered.

When the time came to face Zoe and her final diagnosis, V and Judy nervously followed her into her tent and held hands as the woman started talking.

“I must admit that I have never dealt with a patient like you before, but that’s all the more exciting! Sorry, right, serious situation.” She cleared her throat and tried again. “Good news is: your chances of survival are there – it _is_ possible to repair the neural damage left by Silverhand’s chip.”

Judy gripped the hand in her lap tighter. “Even with my tech involved?”

“Especially with that, yes, otherwise I wouldn’t even bother talking to you right now.” Zoe pulled a box from her shelf and rummaged in it. “I will need specific items and at least two capable rippers to assist me in the procedure, though. I had this thing…oh, here it is!” She pulled out a thin iron tube that was almost as big as her palm. “I was saving this baby for a real life-or-death case and you, my dear, are very welcome!”

V accepted the thing and turned it around. It looked ordinary and totally unremarkable. “What am I looking at?”

“A neural fixer, to put it into simple terms.” Zoe sighed. “Now for the deets. I won’t lie to you, this will be costly as hell, I’m talking about two million eurodollars, and even then your chances of survival are still twenty percent max if we get lucky.”

V didn’t seem surprised, but Judy’s face paled. “What? B-but you said…”

The ripperdoc shook her head. “Your tech does not even fully exist yet, Judy. To be specific, the worst damage has been dealt to V’s neural system and her lungs. Some bones will need to be replaced, which would result in her body being up to seventy-five percent chrome. That's a rough twenty to add to her current state.”

The merc set her jaw tight. She only stooped to applying so much chrome into her body for her jobs, otherwise she would have never survived in Night City as a solo. Now she regretted those upgrades, however useful they might be.

Zoe snatched the neural fixer from V’s tense hands and held it up like a trophy. “The material will dissolve over time and help avoid severe bouts of synesthesia, among other things. This can be inserted into your spine and save you the problem of having to apply an artificial one, which would definitely bump up the percentage and trigger a bigger problem…”

“Cyberpsychosis,” V said in a tortured whisper.

“But she can still make it," Judy was determined. “Seventy-five isn’t gonna trip it so easily, right? Plus there’s therapy for that shit, even BDs custom made for piecing the mind back together - if anyone can handle keeping you in line, V, it's me. We’ll start lookin’ for solutions the moment the procedure is done.”

"I've heard enough." The solo stood up and left.

“Fuck.” Judy rushed after her and followed her to their car. “V! For the love of—don’t do this now!”

The woman spun around and nearly shouted in anger, “You heard her! I can’t…I can’t risk that.” Just the thought of all those grisly scenarios she had encountered when she hunted down cyberpsychos for Regina made her skin crawl. “Listen, and listen well.” She stepped closer, holding Judy’s stare with vicious intensity. “I would rather die than ever risk hurting you, Judy. You hear? I’d sooner put a bullet through my fucking head!”

“So you’d rather not try at all?!” Judy snapped back. “I thought you wanted us to have a future together. I’m willin’ to fight to the death for it, but if you don’t want to even _try…_ ” Tears spilled from her eyes as she looked upon the angry and defiant face of her lover who has already made a decision. “Then we’re done.”

V breathed out sharply, then smirked in that cruel way that was so alien to her. The smirk of Johnny Silverhand. “Fine. We’re done.”

The merc climbed up into Beast and sped away recklessly, leaving Judy and the family behind in a cloud of dust.


	15. Break to Heal

She passed the windmills and the shabby houses in a blur. Her mind was somewhere else, hiding, while whatever was left of Johnny took the wheel. A cigarette dangled from her lips and she smirked at the open road ahead, suddenly wishing for a boulder to manifest in her way. It would be easy to just end it there, after all, what was left for her out there when Judy let her go? Nothing. Might as well take the final bow and leave on her own terms before the sickness spreading through her body and mind could turn her into something she wouldn’t recognize.

The radio was blasting on full volume. Of course the narcissistic prick would choose his own band to be the last thing he’d hear before it was all over.

Hands raised high, the gonk let out a hysterical laugh as the car started to veer to the left, off the road. Beast was far too sturdy to ever be damaged or stalled by mowing down cacti, but the car was not reinforced enough to handle the big drop ahead.

She heard crying. It wasn’t her making that noise, though. One look at the passenger seat had her sober up within a heartbeat. She reached out and pushed Tam against the seat as she slammed on the brakes, effectively ending the suicidal joyride.

For a moment she didn’t know what to do. Hearing that heartbreaking sound and being the source of the girl’s fear left her utterly disgusted with herself, but she was just as scared. Actually, she was downright terrified and in no shape to comfort the child.

Turning down the radio, V sank into her seat and threw the cigarette out the window. She counted to ten and forced herself to push all the past drama out of her head before she turned to the teary-eyed girl. “You should always wear a seatbelt, you know.”

Tam looked at her questioningly, noticing the sudden shift in her behavior. V got out of the car and opened the passenger door for her, tentatively reaching out to help her get down. The kid let her pick her up and hugged her fiercely, hiding her face in her shoulder.

V let out a pained sigh, unsure of what to do next. The seriousness of the situation made her want to slap herself for ever putting the little one in danger. She couldn’t help but feel shaken by the fact that this child was the sole reason why she was still breathing.

“I’m an idiot,” she said, rubbing the girl’s back. “Guess guardian angels come in many forms, huh.”

She let the girl down and sank into the sand, back pressed against the wheel of the truck. Tam started to look around in excitement, no longer silent, but still wordless as she surveyed the area. V watched her kick rocks around, then pick them up. She received quite the collection from the girl as she played by herself and V put all of those little pebbles into her pockets, thanking her for each one.

A single desert marigold caught the child’s attention and she bent down to inspect it. Those flowers always bloomed in groups and V has never seen one that was alone.

“Don’t,” she warned calmly when the small hand closed around the stem. “If you pick that flower, it will die.”

Tam blinked at her. She might as well be talking about rocket science. She couldn’t expect a child to understand what death meant, and she wasn’t too eager to teach her. Still…

“You can take it if you like it.” V squatted down next to her and lifted the blooming head of the flower towards the sun. “But it belongs here, with its roots. You’d have to take great care of it if you want to give it a new home.”

Knowing that she was just talking to herself, V traced the small petals with her finger, simply enjoying the feel of it and marveling at how precious she found it now. Just a few minutes ago she wouldn’t have given two shits about it.

Tam let go of the flower and instead gripped V’s finger with her tiny hand, pointing it back towards the car. She then started to dance around awkwardly and the merc had to laugh. Poor thing needed to pee and here she was getting emotional over rocks and flowers.

She took her back to the camp, but before she let her go, she bent down and planted a kiss on top of her head. The kid then ran off in search of her mom as if nothing happened.

Judy was off somewhere and V wasn’t eager to face her, not when her decision remained the same. Panam was not in camp, so there was no danger of her being tackled and given a rough talking to either.

She found Lucy tending to the familiar batch of beans swimming in tomato sauce and helped her out as much as she could. The woman had some weird sixth sense – or maybe it was just a part of being a mother – and left her alone, not prying, but not pampering her out of pity either. She didn’t know what she was doing, but by the end of it she had many nomads coming over to thank her for making the meal edible for a change. She knew it wasn’t her who made it good, though. Lucy just felt merciful enough to actually _cook_ for a change.

Judy found her sitting there with her own plate of beans and the two stared at each other awkwardly before the techie found a table away from her, choosing to spend time with Carol and Zoe instead.

V didn’t blame her. She was sneaking glances at her every now and then, glad that she seemed to fit in. Hell, she was flourishing here. To top it all off, she has matured so much ever since they left Night City. At that moment, V was genuinely happy for her.

 _I’m deteriorating, though._ She thought of her fighting the cannibal clan, of how she couldn’t bring herself to hate those people because they seemed familiar. Like a community that would eventually welcome someone like her. What a way to live out those last few months – in total anarchy, where madness was infectious and death became a laughing matter for many.

Judy’s silent treatment didn’t relent even come nightfall. V was not willing to engage her, so she opted to sleep in the car, but until then she sat around on her own, staring at the psycho mask in her hands. The others were playing games again. There was laughter and music and though she attracted a few concerned people like Mitch and Bob, most nomads let her be. Except for her small gang.

“Get me closer, damn it!”

She raised her eyes from the mask and felt a sharp sting as Robert hit her in the face with his stick. It wasn’t hard enough to really hurt, but it sure wasn’t pleasant.

“Snap out of it!” he yelled and whacked her leg instead.

She caught the stick mid-air. “Enough.”

Sam pushed the old man closer and placed him by her right side, then he sat down on her left. “You and your output are the talk of the entire camp today,” the boy said mockingly, hoping that would get a reaction out of her.

The merc sighed and put the mask on, setting it up so it stayed permanently frozen in a happy smile. “Leave me alone.”

Robert freed his stick from her grasp. “You kept pestering me when I got sick, so consider this my sweet revenge. Get your shit together, no woman is ever worth the hassle.”

“Says an old, lonely man who never even loved anyone besides himself,” Sam retorted defensively. “Don’t listen to that jerk, you and that girl of yours are pretty solid. Too solid, actually. Didn’t think you’d last if it was all sunshine and rainbows.”

“Suddenly you’re an expert on relationships?” Robert gave a short, bitter laugh. “You moron, Xenia is still ignoring your ass. And for a good reason!”

The mock Valentino smirked confidently. “Yeah, but she will talk to me eventually. Followed your advice, V. Gave her some space. Now she’s at least willing to look at me, and Trisha isn’t badmouthing me as much. Ya know, small victories and all.”

V felt the jabs of two persistent elbows and squirmed, trying to get away from them. She was pulled back and sat down on her ass again. “I don’t need a pity party. I just wanna think.”

“We can think for you and save you some time,” Robert said. “You’re a moron, and Judy is too smart for her own good. But if you care so much then don’t waste time moping around and fix this mess before it’s too late. We’re not going down south for nothin’, are we?”

The whole family was brought into this, the decision would affect them too. That just made things more complicated.

Sam reached out for the mask, but she grabbed his wrist. “Leave it there.” It sounded stupid, but she needed it, if only to hide her feelings.

“I used to think you were a maniac for keeping that thing,” he said in disgust. “But you know what it signifies. Ain’t a joke for you, is it?”

“’Course not,” she snarled. “I’ve seen families torn into pieces, trying to protect their cyberpsycho relatives. In the end, they hovered above them like mindless beasts, but some of them still reacted and begged me to end things. They cried and screamed… Like fuck I’m ever doin’ that to my girl.”

Judy deserved so much better than a walking hazard. If push came to shove, the techie would never overpower her. She might even give up without a fight, bare her neck out and still thank her for taking that chance, for even giving her what little time they could have together past these six limiting months.

The thought of that made her clench her fists, but the rage was only aimed at herself. How could she ever agree to this? Millions of eddies, all for a small fucking chance that might end up turning into a horror story instead of a happily ever after.

The stick flew in the air again, thudding against her cheek, but she barely winced.

“Well, there’s no helpin’ it,” Robert said, leaning over to look at his fellow member of the Fools gang. “Grab her, this calls for some drastic measures.”

“She’ll kick my ass!”

“Then take her phone and call the chief.”

V instinctively pressed her hand against her pocket to protect her cell from deft hands. “Fuck you both, honestly.” Okay, yes, Panam scared the hell out of her right now.

Robert chuckled. “Know you’re pretty much screwed, right? She won’t accept no for an answer. What scares you so much if the chances are so low? At least you could die tryin’.”

For some reason she remembered Skye’s words:

“ _You’ve never backed down from anything, so don’t stop now. Not one step backwards.”_

Sam bumped her knee to get her attention. “You said it yourself. Sometimes you gotta dive into the unknown for your loved ones if you want them to ever do the same for you. Follow your own advice, you gonk.”

She wanted to strangle him at that moment, but he was right. They were both right.

She slept in Robert’s brand new RV, sprawled down in the narrow space between his bed and the small kitchen. The old man snored so violently the floor was shaking with the impact.

After she shoveled her breakfast into her mouth, she went and found Judy tinkering with her deadly butterfly, treating it a bit too roughly.

“Hey, Jude.” V approached her cautiously. “Wanna talk.”

“’Bout what?” She threw her tools down and faced the merc, folding her arms on her chest. “Think we said everything that needed to be said yesterday. We’re done.”

V slid her hands into her pockets just to hide the tremble that overtook them. “Are we really?” Judy frowned, but said nothing. “I’m scared of hurting you,” she said, condensing the whole drama from yesterday into one dumb sentence. “That’s my number one concern – I’m not giving up on you, or on _us._ Don’t wanna talk about it here, though. Come with me?”

Judy mulled it over, not willing to have her heart broken the second time around. “Dunno. I’m not in the mood to hear you monologuing and waxing poetic about what you’re scared of. You refused me, V. That shit fucking stings.”

Carol was not-so-sneakily moving closer to them as she washed her car. Both women looked over at her in annoyance, but the nomad refused to acknowledge them. She was probably readying herself to pounce just to protect her favorite BD editor.

“Not here,” V tried again, gesturing for her to follow. Instead of waiting around though, she left the tent and went straight for her car. She could hear an exasperated sigh and footsteps, which charmed a smug smile on her face. Perhaps there was still hope.

They drove out of the camp, only going far enough to have some privacy. V slipped out of the car and pointed at the steep slope ahead wanting to climb it. Judy was in no mood to do that, but once again, the merc was already on the move and she was forced to follow.

“I’ve just about had it with you, you know.”

V gave her a carefree shrug and lied down on the ground, looking up at the clouds. “How are we gonna get the money?”

Judy’s eyes widened, then narrowed in suspicion. “You’re suddenly changing your mind?”

“Yes.” She grew silent, expecting Judy to blow up on her and chew her out, but the techie surprised her by lying down next to her. Emboldened by her action, V brushed her finger against Judy’s - a touch so shy it was almost amusing. “Know Rache Bartmoss?”

“The legendary netrunner?”

“He’s dead, obviously. Found his deck, though. It’s legit, in mint condition, except I couldn’t crack it and never dared to give it over to anyone else.”

Judy raised herself up on her elbows and looked down at V as if she was high as a kite again. “You’re pulling my leg here, come on. _The_ Rache Bartmoss? How do you know it’s his?”

“I found his body, and I have good proof of that. Planned on selling it eventually, so I took some liberties and contacted a few people. I’m telling you, it’s legit. Preem piece of tech, any netrunner worth their salt will want to get their hands on it.” V sat up, aimlessly playing with the sand, allowing it to run through her fingers as she picked up one handful after another. “That could make us most of the bank for the procedure, if not more. I just don’t know whether I can sell it uncracked, or if the contents of it would be worth much if I did manage to open it. Could be full of nudes, you never know.”

Judy sat up as well, moving as close to the merc as she could. She put her legs into the girl’s lap, ending V’s obsession with sand as the prosthetic hands suddenly had something better to play with. “Let’s say we do that – and then what? You’re not gonna bail on me last minute?”

V patted her knee. “Oh yes, I’ll just take the money and go. Vegas, here I come!” she said sarcastically. “No, Judy. I’m not running away from this. If you’re willing to risk it…then I won't back down either.” She leaned closer, studying all those clashing glimpses of hesitation and desperate eagerness in Judy’s eyes. “Told you once already – I’d do anything within my power to give us more time. But you have to understand, I’m gonna need a bit more to make sure that you’re not in any danger from me. I’ll contact Regina, get in touch with the docs who treated all those I've managed to save back in Night City. And you, my dear, are going to learn how to fight. Need you to be able to kick my ass should it come down to it.”

Judy smirked. “And you sure as hell don’t want me to learn that just because it turns you on?”

Despite the fact that she was relieved that the worst of the tension was gone if they were able to flirt again, V couldn’t help but roll her eyes. “Ma’am, you’re accusing me of being horny when I’m trying to be practical. Focus.” She poked her in the stomach, making her gasp in annoyance. “We get a list of what we need and start buyin’ stuff once we hit Phoenix, and I bet Zoe could do it for us if we ask nicely. I also recall that you and me both are sitting on quite the fortune already…”

“Never thought I’d use my savings gained from years of porn edits just to fix your lungs,” Judy sighed dramatically. “No cigs anymore, V. I see one in your hand and I’ll break it.”

V smiled and nuzzled into her. “Deal. I’ll be a good girl and keep healthy.”

“No suicidal stunts either.” The solo’s breath hitched and Judy pulled her back to look her in the eye. “Had enough of that with Evelyn, V. You’re gonna be extra careful from now on. Let me and Panam take care of you.”

“You’re not the only ones kicking my ass for my own good anymore,” V said in amusement. “I’ll be careful.”

She pulled back a bit and watched the skyline, enjoying the sudden sense of calm. It felt like something had been broken again within her and then fixed, like a bone that has been repeatedly shattered for so long she lost all hope it would ever be fixed. But it could be done, and although she would never call the last twenty-four hours easy, they had bigger impact on her than all her attempts to wrestle her fear in Night City. Talks with Misty, strange meditations, all the calls she left in Jackie’s inbox… all of it took so long and never helped as much as this.

She started at the sudden, gentle touch and brought her attention back to Judy who was caressing her cheek and looking at her in a way that made V’s heart beat faster.

“You look beautiful like this,” Judy said as her fingers glided across the warm skin.

V grew a bit nervous and self-aware, which only made the techie stare more fondly. “Ahem, that’s uh…there goes my chain of thought…” Judy laughed smugly, allowing her some time to gather her bearings after tripping her up so badly.

She could tell that the clouds hanging above V’s head were parting, and that the worrisome, defeated part of her was taking the backseat. It would take some time for her to work things out, but that was okay, for as long as the lesson stuck. _Focus on living for yourself too, calabacita,_ Judy thought, aware that V always put her first.

“I just wanted to say I’m not gonna leave this up to you anymore. I’ll start looking for more solutions as well. And Jude?”

“Hm?”

“Whatever happens, let’s make the most of the time we have.” She took a hold of Judy’s hand, gently brushing the skin on her ring finger. “No holding back. Deal?”

Judy smiled and rested her forehead against V’s. “Girl, I was never able to do so with you in the first place. C'mere.” She kissed her passionately, pouring as much love into it as she could.

The relief of having her back and kicking that dangerous, self-destructive part of her in the balls made Judy melt into each kiss. She was grateful that she was not losing her, that V was willing to fight, proving time and time again just how much this meant to her. Judy still wanted to yell at her, push her down into the sand and vent about how much her cowardly escape hurt her, but time was short, nothing was perfect, and Judy would take this over the prolonged torture of being apart. In the end, Panam was right. V was not a quitter, she just needed a proper push. Or in this case, a battering ram to the gut. 

Once the kiss was broken, they shared a soft smile, simply happy to be in the moment. 

"Race you down?" V asked.

"If you fall on your face, I ain't picking you up, choom." 

V stood up and laughed. "Last one in the car is gay!"

Judy snorted and watched her run off. "You idiot." Despite herself, she grinned and went after her.


	16. Phoenix

The next morning she was allowed to sleep in. Judy stretched on the bed and went about her morning routine, wondering where the hell V was and why she didn’t wake her up.

She wanted to give the gonk harsh treatment after she broke her heart so mercilessly (albeit out of legitimate concerns), but she couldn’t bring herself to maintain that pissed off energy. She’d leave that job to Panam.

“Speak of the devil,” she whispered to herself as she saw the woman hastily walk up to their opened tent. “Mornin’.”

The chief tackled her, trapping her in warm embrace and began spitting out curses and insults on V’s account. “I nearly killed her myself earlier,” Panam admitted angrily as they separated. “How are you doing? Did she do something stupid besides refusing the surgery? Should I kick her ass some more?!”

Judy calmed her down and explained that the hatched has been buried and that the plan was to continue to Tucson to meet up with Panam's contacts, just like before. Hearing that made the woman mellow out quite a bit and eventually they moved onto the second reason why she came over to talk to her.

Embarrassed, the nomad fidgeted with her fingers and avoided eye contact. “Was wondering whether or not you still have some…you know? _Stuff_.” She gave Judy a meaningful look and immediately averted her eyes again.

“Stuff?” Judy folded her arms on her chest and played dumb. “Don’t know what you mean.”

“Oh for—really?” Panam resisted the urge to stomp her feet petulantly. “You’re gonna make me say that?”

“I’m not a mind reader, woman,” Judy deadpanned, now openly grinning. Oh, it was so obvious, after all, she had the misfortune of hearing those two not too long ago. Guy was seriously lacking in some qualities.

Panam rubbed her temples and reminded herself to stay calm. “Fine. I need a BD. A couple of them, maybe. Quit looking at me like that, I don’t want your pity, alright? Just…gimme something _educational_ for the gonk and I’ll be out of your hair. Please.”

The self-appointed porn vendor made a show of opening a locked box full of shards, rummaging through it so slowly that she expected Panam to push her away, grab the whole box and run. “Need specifics.” She listed off several categories and watched Panam blush deeper and deeper red.

“I don’t know!” The chief whined and sank down onto the bed. “Straight stuff, the good shit, something that will make it clear that there are more than two positions!” She was slowly losing patience. “Judy, just give me something so I can get laid, alright? Alright.”

Judy handed her two shards of the most straight, intense virtus she bothered to store away and drag with her all the way through the desert. “Enjoy,” she said, adding a wink just to mess with the woman further. “Sure you don’t want anythin’ else? Nothing more… _educational_?”

Panam yanked the shards from her hands and walked out. “No!”

She was back within less than a minute, hand snapping impatiently in the direction of the porn box. “Yes, gimme the stuff that you and V keep teasing me about behind my back.”

Judy handed her not one but five additional shards. Panam muttered a ‘thank you’ and walked out, bumping into the merc on her way. “I have never been here, and I’ll break your face if you tell anybody.” She disappeared before the two could gang up on her.

The merc raised one eyebrow in a silent question and Judy shrugged. “Code vanilla.”

“Oh…” V made a small sympathetic sound and put the plate and the cup she was holding down on the desk. “Peanut butter and jelly toast with a piping hot cup of coffee. That will be twenty bucks.”

Judy kissed her instead.

“Okay, it’s free,” V blurted out, pushing the modest breakfast closer to her output. “Eat up.”

Judy touched the coffee cup. “It’s cold.”

“Um…”

“And this toast is burnt.”

“It’s just ONE spot in the corner, here, I’ll cut it away.”

The techie sighed and took a sip of the drink. “V, this is Carol’s.”

“Traded her for it.” When Judy’s disbelief became too apparent, V threw her hands up. “Fine! I left a jelly bean in its place. Sue me.” She turned around, taking the cup with her. “I’ll reheat it. Damn it, one time I try to do something nice…”

Judy chuckled quietly as she watched her go. Staying mad at her really was impossible.

When they made camp at lunch after a tediously long ride in the worst heat they’ve encountered yet, V decided it was the perfect time to commit another crime that day. She snuck up on Judy and dragged her behind the water truck to share her evil plan.

“You wanna steal a child?!”

V pressed her hand to her mouth. “And a motorcycle, don’t forget that,” she said quietly, shaking the ‘borrowed’ keys in her free hand. “Cover for me, I’ll be back before we leave.” She kissed the tip of Judy’s nose and went to look forTam.

The kid was crying when she found her. Jolene and her gang stood around her like a bunch of wolves and most of them had the good sense to scatter when the merc approached.

“What did you do?” V knelt down, facing Jolene with that deadly calm that loosened tongues and scared many people shitless. Tam instinctively hid behind her guardian’s back, peeking over at Jolene with puffy eyes.

“She keeps bothering us,” the kid explained, matching V’s tone of voice. “We don’t wanna play with a mute. Besides, her mother is a skank who can’t keep her mouth shut. You should be cross with her, too.”

 _I’m about to throw hands with an eleven-year-old._ Well, did the age of her adversaries ever stop her before?

“Alright,” she grabbed Jolene’s shoulder, leaning in as if to whisper some incredible secret. “Then let me remind you that I am not above kicking a child into a latrine pit. See how many kids will want to play with _you_ when you’re covered in that gunk.” She chuckled maliciously and pulled away, truly enjoying the mental image of her Spartan-kicking the tough girl in the name of justice. She knew it was wrong, but she didn’t give a damn. _Mess with my Tim Tam and you get the boot._ Perhaps the brat could actually learn something from it.

She collected the child into her arms and snuck to the parked vehicles, taking the chosen motorcycle as soon as she strapped Tam into the baby carrier on her chest. Thankfully, the kid was small enough to fit in. Just to humor the promise she gave to Judy, she put on an old helmet as well. _See, I can be careful._

Let’s ignore the fact that she had a child on a motorcycle, though.

The girl forgot to cry the moment V drove out of the camp and she threw her arms wide open, shouting with glee. V had to stop and cover her mouth with a scarf just so she wouldn’t eat a ton of bugs for lunch and resumed their innocent ride, choosing to stick close to the camp, but taking more scenic routes to squeeze the most of that short, but sweet escape. Tam’s laughter made it worth the hassle.

When they came back, the entire camp was standing on alert, watching them with both approval and reprimand.

“’Sup?” V asked casually, noting that Mitch was blinking away tears of joy. Tam’s mother looked mighty pissed though, as was expected.

“Haven’t I told you to stay away from her?” She advanced with maternal fury and froze up when Judy beat her to it and got to the merc first, maintaining the casual façade by helping her undo her helmet as if nothing was wrong. “Excuse me, since when do lesbians steal children so brazenly? You could have killed her!”

Tam’s disheveled hair and wide smile definitely spoke of a near-death experience. Such horror.

“Did you have fun?” Judy asked once she kissed the merc, ignoring the outburst altogether. She helped V free the little girl and put her down.

“Ah!” the kid gave a sharp nod, all businesslike. When she saw her mom approach again, she pointed at the bike pleadingly as if she wanted it for Christmas.

“Absolutely not. Panam!”

The chief looked a bit distracted and flushed. “Present! What’s the problem?”

Tam’s mother forced a smile. “Nothing seems to be a problem, dear. We’re still dealing with blind favoritism, I see.” She took Tam’s hand and began walking to their car.

“Favoritism, she says,” Panam scoffed. “Have you people not seen me putting a boot up her ass this morning?”

“Since I got all of your attention,” V said, clapping her hands together to bring the stares back towards her. “Tam’s being bullied by the other kids, so better sit them down and talk it through.” She looked over at Jolene, silently daring her to retaliate.

The kid would not forget this, though. Their childish war was just about to be reignited.

They stopped several miles away from Phoenix, not daring to go in all at once. By then V had found several potential buyers for the deck, but none of them were willing to swipe it blindly. She had to find a way to crack it first, which was a big problem. If the thing held something useful and dangerous, she’d potentially hand over a powerful weapon to a complete stranger, or if it indeed held nudes, embarrassing doodles or a secret cookbook, the deck would become worthless, and their whole plan would crumble to dust.

It seemed hopeless until one contact made an offer without expecting the deck to be cracked. V called her up after running a thorough background check; a casino owner, wealthy and bored out of her mind, known for buying many fancy relics of the past, especially if her owning them pissed someone off.

“Octavia Dior, at your service,” the woman introduced herself with a sharp smile, revealing vampiric, white teeth. “Knew you wouldn’t be able to refuse me, darling.”

V’s impression of the woman was fairly mixed. She was definitely up to no good. This could be a part of some devious plan to get back at someone else. She looked as posh as she talked and acted, wearing dark make-up and red lipstick while clad in what seemed to be an elegant dress. Her golden eyes shone eerily, somehow more accentuated in the shadow cast by her hat.

“You offer a generous sum,” the merc played dumb, checking more info on her as they spoke. “Two million – I could buy myself a tiny island and never wear clothes again. Live like a queen and a savage, all at once.” There was nothing else. The woman covered her tracks too well.

The casino owner twirled a cocktail umbrella between her fingers with a lazy smile on her lips. “Ah, now that is a vision. May I ask how you came to the possession of such an invaluable artifact, miss Hannah?”

“I’m a secret relative,” V said with all the seriousness she could muster, knowing that the joke was dumb, but it sure as hell did not stop her. After all, she needed to lower the woman’s guard. If she knew she had a powerful netrunner on her case, she’d never let her get close. “But don’t tell anyone. So, got a meeting place in mind?”

“Let’s meet in my casino at night, ten sharp. I’ll send you the nav point, then we can talk things out. I’ll pay you out on the spot if you play nice and won’t try to trick me.” The threat was delivered in a raspy purr. “Come find me, then.”

“I’ll bring two of my chooms with me, if that’s fine with you.” The woman raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting V to make demands in her position. “Can’t walk into an unfamiliar turf without my back watched. Gotta understand that.”

“Indeed,” she said, albeit a bit reluctantly. “But just those two. Until then.”

She slumped in her chair once the call was over, feeling drained and certain that she was being played.

Before arranging the meeting, V took her girl to the new, shiny city. They had to cheat and use forgeries and encrypted IDs to avoid alerting the authorities, after all, they were on a high-priority wanted list after the Arasaka Raid. Or, well, V was, but Judy was in danger by association.

“I’m taking you to the fanciest fuckin’ restaurant there is.” V took the girl’s hand and led her to the nearest taxi. “And then we’re going on a shopping spree!”

Judy let herself be pulled inside, amused by the merc’s good mood and innocent demands. “And here I was hoping for a nice, clean hotel room.”

V asked the AI to drive them to the closest high-rated restaurant and threw herself at the techie, making her gasp in shock. “That too,” V said, lips moving against Judy’s. “Or we could test out this AI’s discretion settings…” One hand travelled down, stopping close to the alluring warmth.

“Indiscretion detected!” the car tripped its own alarm but could not move, or open its doors to kick them out due to being stuck in a tight traffic jam. “Help! Help! Police!”

“No need to involve them, choom.” V raised her hands up, then drew an imaginary halo above her head. “Will play nice now, honest.” Poor Del would have freaked out, too.

Judy pulled her down, pressing on the back of her neck to keep her there. One of her legs languidly rose in the air just to tease the watching AI before she hooked it around V’s hip.

“I am doubling the fee and alerting the news. Your shame shall be broadcasted to the rest of the world, you heathens. Help! Help!”

V pulled away, laughing her ass off as she jacket into the car and began scrambling its systems just to avoid alerting the police. Their presence was virtually undetectable within minutes and the AI forgot to threaten them as it drove through the streets.

They gorged themselves on the best food they could order and fed each other desserts, licking the spoons clean and keeping an electrifying eye contact, which made the other patrons stare, or squirm in discomfort.

Next up, they got more clothes and V bought socks in bulk while casting accusatory glances at her output. She had yet to find all those missing pugs and she felt disheartened by the holes in those that were not yet lost. She bought a cute onesie for Tam with a panda design, complete with furry ears on the hood. Talking her mother into accepting it will be a tough task, but V was unable to resist the urge to buy it nevertheless.

“You wanna tell me something?” Judy teased as they walked the streets, arms full of bags.

“I bread you.”

Judy grinned and kissed her cheek. “Not what I had in mind, hermosa. Meant the kid. You pretty much act like you’ve decided to adopt the girl and share the custody with her mother. You’re pullin’ me into it as well, so I’d like to know if I’m expected to buy her a gift, too.”

V blushed. “I-I’m not adopting her!” She could feel the weight of the bag with the onesie multiply as the realization started to kick in. Worst part of it all was that Judy didn’t seem to be opposed to it. “Fuck, I would never push a parent away from their own kid, Jude. But I can’t just ignore that little gremlin. She’s grown on me.”

“I can see that.” Judy steered the merc to the left and guarded her from any incoming traffic, keeping an eye out for any and all Mai Mais. “No need to worry, I’m not gonna start a kid talk. Just think it’s cute.”

And extremely stupid. If V died prematurely, she’d be breaking one more heart and this one didn’t deserve it at all.

As she let the guilt and confusion eat away at her, she stopped watching her surroundings. Judy kept steering her by bumping into her shoulders, calling her a gonk for having a crisis in the middle of traffic.

When V finally snapped out of it, they were standing inside of a tattoo salon. “Did I teleport here?”

Judy was handing the artist a shard while V took in her surroundings and finally realized what was happening. The techie rubbed her hands together, eyes scanning the exposed skin on V’s arms and her toned abdomen. “Wanna go first?”

The merc looked over at the instruments of artistic torture, wondering how long this would take if they both took turns. Well, it was now or never, right?

“We don’t have the—“ Her protest died on her lips when Judy slotted the same shard into her port, revealing two detailed designs. “Oh. When the hell did you manage that?”

“Had yours done waaay back, calabacita.” She came up to the merc and ran her hand across the skin on her tummy, fingers dipping underneath the tank top’s hem. “And I drew mine when I couldn’t sleep. Go first, I’ll watch.”

It took six hours, but the artist was relentless and absurdly good at her work. Judy was giving pointers when she was putting ink on V, ecstatic to finally turn her fantasy into reality. The roses were blood red on the irritated skin, but thanks to the expensive emulsion and healing stims, V could take the protective film down after an hour and enjoy the ink in its full glory. Judy left the tattoo salon with her own praying mantis wielding Skippy and the Malorian, poking just above the waistband of her jeans. Both of them felt so much closer now that they’ve marked each other for life.

When the time came, Judy and Panam entered the casino right at V’s heels.

“I feel exposed without my iron,” the chief said, blindly touching her empty gun holster. The receptionist was very strict about that, especially when they were meeting with the lady of the house. As per V’s orders, they only brought cheaper guns that they didn’t care for just in case they would not get them back.

The casino was a mix of old-fashioned and modern designs. The impressively huge chandeliers cast neon lights around the place while some areas where the blackjack tables lay were lit up with a more subtle, golden glow. There were slots everywhere and half of them were occupied – the people gambling away their money looked too happy to throw their eddies around. No one looked particularly poor or opportunistic.

V approached the big fountain in the middle of two spiraling staircases. It had a statue of the lady of the house; five Dobermans were sitting at her feet with water trickling out of their snarling mouths. When she looked down she saw clear cut diamonds swimming in the fog coming out of the water.

“Dry ice,” Judy said, instinctively grabbing V’s hand and pulling her away from the shiny trap. “Don’t fuck with that.”

They sat down at the bar and ordered drinks. V opted for a regular soda since she promised to keep healthy and having a sober mind definitely did not hurt. She looked around and felt the old excitement of a street kid salivating at the displays of wealth. Jackie would have loved this place. _Big leagues, right choom? Carelessly rigging her own plumbing with fucking dry ice for a fool trap like that…_ Maybe it was a good thing that Judy pulled her away from it. _Alright, enough stalling._ She slammed her empty can down and asked the bartender to point her to the restroom.

When the merc went away, Judy turned her attention to the nomad. “Still waitin’ for feedback on those BDs. Gave you my best work, you know.”

Knocking the rest of her whiskey back, Panam said, “Do I look like I sit on my ass all day and watch porn? I didn’t watch it. I gave some to Gav and peeked at the stuff I _didn’t_ ask for…” She sighed. “Fiiine, I watched half of them, happy now?!” Irritated, she asked for a refill and moved to sit away from the techie.

Judy smiled and toyed with the rim of her glass. “Never met someone so confused in my entire life. You know, talkin’ about stuff and thinking real hard on it is great and all, but you gotta put yourself out there. Once you’re up for it, I’ll take you to a proper bar.” That seemed to get Panam’s attention. “Can talk V into joining us, too.”

“And?” The chief shrugged. “What then? We get wasted and look at women like a bunch of lechers?” When Judy made an offended grimace Panam hung her head and groaned. “I don’t know how to go on about this. Like, at all. Men are easy to read and predict, but fuck if I know what I’d do with a woman…”

“Just answered your own question there.”

“Oh, shut up,” Panam snapped. “Easy for you to say. When did you know, since birth?” Judy laughed. “You were born on the day the rainbow touched the sky and an angel came down from heavens to give you your gay certificate, is that it?”

Judy was full on chuckling now. Curious and defeated, Panam sat closer to her again, leaning against the bar to inspect the woman closely. She looked comfortable, unapologetic. Happy. The new tattoo didn’t escape Panam’s eagle vision either. “Oh hey, I know who that is.” She smirked down at the praying mantis. “Should have given it the dunce cone.”

“Right, you don’t see much of it. Lemme just—“ Judy pulled her jeans down a bit, nearly sending Panam down to the floor due to her momentarily losing balance.

V cleared her throat as she observed the scene, hands planted on her hips. “Why are you showing her your undies?”

Judy gave her an annoyed look. “I’m showing her the ink, smart ass.”

To Judy’s horror, her lover came up to her and fist-bumped the mantis. “What’s up, bro?” V addressed the thing as casually as if she was greeting a good choomba, then she hopped onto her seat, unaware of Judy’s flabbergasted expression. Panam laughed so hard she had tears in her eyes.

They were attracting a bit of attention, but neither one of them really cared. They had to kill time somehow before the woman of the hour decided to leave her vanity table.

“No, but seriously, when did you people _know_?” Panam asked once she caught her breath.

“Know what?”

“We were talkin’ about tapping into the forbidden knowledge,” Judy explained to her output. “Ya know, when the tall, dark lady came to our doorstep and gave us the pamphlets.” She added a secretive wink.

The merc’s face lit up with recognition. “Oh, you mean _that_ lady. Right. She came to me when I was fourteen – didn’t even know what crushes were back then.” Her two companions seemed taken aback by that. “What? I just kept thinking it was a friend radar or somethin’. I saw a girl and felt the pull, so naturally…”

“You wanted to be her gal pal,” Judy finished for her in between giggles. “Jesus, V. You were clueless even as a kid.”

The merc ordered another soda and winced when the drink shot up from the can and sprayed her in the face. The bartender was quick to throw her a towel, apologizing profusely.

“Ha! Karma struck you for bullshitting me,” Panam pointed out helpfully with a derisive little laugh. “Cut the tall lady out of this, give it to me straight.”

Judy sputtered into her drink. “I literally can’t.”

“Judy!” The nomad slammed her hand against the bar. “Just please say it without any embellishments. I was right, wasn’t I? You knew way sooner than V, you had to.”

Casting one look at her distracted lover, Judy tried to imagine what V was like as an awkward teen, fumbling with her words as her puzzled brain tried to figure out why she wanted to be friends with pretty girls. Probably had that dumb impulse to hold their hands, too. What did she do about that? Probably brood at the inviting limbs and never make a move. Oh, if only knew each other back then, Judy would have rocked her world.

“I knew when I was about six,” she said, still preoccupied with watching V. “Had a crush on the local girl and kept refusin’ the boys ‘cuz they grossed me out. Didn’t really know how to deal with it back then, though.”

“You mean, other than screaming your lungs out in the church and hiding the girl’s doll to get her attention?” V asked, fishing out baby wipes our of her pocket to clean her hands. “I may have had my awakening later, but at least I knew how to deal with it.”

Panam leaned closer. “How?!”

Judy followed suit. “How?!”

V made them wait a bit as she rubbed her fingers with the damp tissue. Judy snatched it out of her grasp and threw it at the bartender who nearly dropped her shaker in shock. Unimpressed by the violent show of impatience, V grabbed a hold of the towel instead and continued, ignoring the growls and kicks. “Hired a hooker.”

Panam spat out her drink all over herself. Judy wasn’t buying it, though. “Uh-huh. You chickened out last minute, didn’t you?”

V smiled. “You have pretty eyes.”

“Don’t fucking stall, woman. There’s no way a fourteen-year-old could get away with that.”

Panam nodded. “Exactly. That’s a freakin’ crime, and it’s gross.”

V returned the towel and carefully lifted the can of soda. “I never said I went full monty with her. We talked. She gave me tips. Next thing I knew, I was asking girls out on dates.” _And getting rejected,_ she thought bitterly, but they didn’t need to know that.

Judy turned to face the chief. “Following that logic, we should get you a joytoy. Or a lap dance.”

“Absolutely not!” Panam breathed out sharply and then slumped against the bar. She felt like an outsider, sitting there with those two who had their shit figured out. “Why am I thinking about this now? It’s not like Gav is necessarily bad, I just keep thinking…Okay, never mind. I wanna ask you about it later. In private.”

Sensing the shift in the mood, both women quietly agreed and did not pry further. As they sat there, listening to the hum of conversations, slot machines and remixed jazz music, they could feel someone’s stare boring into their backs. When they turned around, the spotted their contact leisurely strutting towards them, flanked by five heavily-armed guards.

She was much taller than they expected, towering over them like a dark omen with a visceral, seductive smile. She wore a revealing black dress, high heeled shoes and fishnet stockings – all of which caused the three women to stare at her openly before they could pick their jaws off the floor.

“There you are, darling,” she cooed, her raspy voice turning into a deep, velvety caress as her eyes surveyed the merc. “I am sorry for the wait. Hopefully, we can make up for the lost time.”

Panam looked up at her in awe. “You’re…so…tall…”

Octavia chuckled. “Observant, are we? Do you want to introduce us, Hannah?”

V elbowed the chief to make her snap out of it. “Right, good evening, Octavia.” Her bothering to be so formal charmed a small smile on the woman’s lips. “This one is my trusty confidant Ramona,” V said, squeezing Panam’s shoulder. She pointed over at Judy, “And that one over there is Brody.”

“’Sup?” Judy greeted the casino owner with an aloof nod.

“Consider me charmed and elated,” Octavia said as she briefly shook both of their hands. “Now, let’s go to my lounge. I promise you nothing but fun and games.”

Her demeanor, however, hinted at a barely contained beast hiding in elegant clothes, eager to show her claws.


	17. A Rigged Game

V has met many types of people in her lifetime, but no one was as recklessly transparent as this woman. She looked down on her as if she could break her with a snap of her fingers, but was far too determined to play with her victims and risk having them snap back.

“Come upstairs, my personal lounge is far more comfortable.” Octavia beckoned with her gloved finger, rolling her eyes when she noticed Panam’s hesitation. “Relax, darling. It is a public space, we won’t be entirely alone there. Unless you wished it,” she said, laughing when her suggestive remark seemed to spark interest in the nomad’s eyes.

Panam shook her head as if to clear her thoughts and grabbed V’s wrist as the casino owner started leading them up the stairs. “Is this bitch for real?” she hissed, keeping her eyes trained on the guards.

“Deep breaths, Panam,” V whispered back. “We’re sticking to the plan.”

*an hour earlier*

_V gave both women shards and slotted her own into her port. “The blueprints are from last year, but that’s gotta be enough for now. See the elevator I marked down?” The spot now had a bright red circle around it. “That will take us up to the vault. Whatever she’s got there, it has to be worth more than what we’re sellin’. Still, cash and credits are our priority. Her personal terminal or the access point in the vault are the best way to go, but I have no way of pinpointing where her room is. This big one with a balcony view over the east side looks like it could be what we need, but then again, won’t know much until I get access to the cam feed.”_

_Panam pulled the shard out. “Great, so how do you wanna get up there when we’re supposed to meet her at the bar?”_

_“Don’t say we split up,” Judy groaned. This was a job for a whole crew, not three people without guns._

_V jacked her shard out and pocketed it. “No, actually, this is too risky to pull off right now.”_

_“Then why the fuck are we looking at this?” Judy followed suit, throwing it on top of the table. They sat outdoors in a fast food restaurant that had only two other customers that night. No one paid them much mind. “Why are we even meeting her if you’re so certain this bitch is playing us for fools?”_

_“Because I know firsthand how being underestimated gets you up close and personal, even if you don’t play your cards right.” V reached out to touch the necklace Misty had made for her, but realized it was no longer there. “She needs to see us as idiots –me specifically. I will play it reckless, kiss up to her, let her manipulate me to a point. As for you, Judy, I want you to be yourself. Point out the flaws in her logic, don’t buy into her bullshit, but let me get close. And please don’t react and make it obvious that we are an item. Panam,” she turned to the nomad who was stuffing her face with a burger. “You be anything but yourself.”_

_Panam’s foot collided with her own under the table. “Say it again, asshole.”_

_“Ow, you dick!”_

_“Ladies…” Judy reprimanded the two grownups. “I’ll ask again, V. Why are we doin’ this?”_

_The merc massaged her knee, glaring at Panam as she spoke. “I need to get inside - that is our primary goal here. I’m still bringing the deck, but we are not closing the deal tonight. I wanna have her sweat for it while we make plans to klep something even bigger. To be specific, I will need to tap into her subnet, download the proper blueprints and plant a dormant malware that will weaken the system. As to why…we’re gonna pull off a heist. She will never agree to sell it at full price, so we need to take the scratch by force.”_

_Judy and Panam exchanged a surprised look. “You sure about that?” the techie asked, all too aware of how the first heist ended._

_V’s determined gaze made them both realize that there was no other way around it. They were going to steal from Octavia and use that money to buy V’s life._

The lounge was on the first level, far back in a spacious booth. V and her guardians sat on the same seat with her in the middle while Octavia had her couch all to herself. Her loyal dogs watched from a discreet distance.

“Well? How do you like my casino?” Octavia arched an eyebrow as she lifted her crystal glass to her lips.

The merc took her own glass from the tray on the table between them and gave the liquid a sniff. “Expensive shit.” She knew what it was and felt a chill run down her spine. _Jackie’s favorite tequila. One of the remaining hundred in the world._ “Meant both the drink and the casino décor. Real mix of…everything.”

Amused by the ineloquence and childish ignorance to the specific design choice and the rarity of the drink, Octavia studied the merc with unabashed interest. “Tell me something about yourself, Hannah. I like to get to know potential business partners before I close a contract with them. What brought you to my city?”

 _Acts like a queen of this place… probably a gang leader. Or a fixer._ Still, V couldn’t find close to nothing about her background. It was worrisome. “Nothing to talk about, really.” She pretended to take a sip and coughed, quickly letting go of the glass as if it contained liquid fire.

“Not used to quality liquor, I see.”

“I’ll take it,” Panam said and helped herself to V’s share. “To your health!” As usual, she inhaled the booze within less than three seconds.

V would have smacked her if she could. For all they knew, those glasses could have been spiked. On her left, Judy was watching the exchange wordlessly, but her boot kept bumping into V’s, unable to help herself. If the merc had her way, she’d be holding her hand right now to calm her down.

“Let’s cut to the chase.” V pulled the deck out of her small bag. The plastic container that held it inside had a small Kibble sticker on it, announcing that the contents were flavored as ‘seasoned beef’. Upon seeing this savage treatment of a priceless relic, Octavia had to resist the urge to openly show her annoyance. “Got the deck here, want cash in return.”

“I must say that your claims seem legitimate, dear.” The woman waved one of the guards over with a briefcase full of cash. He opened it and let Judy do a swift count as Octavia talked. “That being said, I cannot give you the full sum for an uncracked, potentially dangerous artifact.”

“Barely a million here,” Judy said angrily. “Seven hundred. What do you think we are, desperate street rats? There won’t be any haggling here.”

“What she said,” V agreed. “Two million or nothing, choom. Got other options on my dial, and I know the mystery deck ain’t exactly _useful_ per say, but it is one of a kind.” She stood up and brazenly leaned across the table, staring into the hypnotic golden depths of Octavia’s eyes. “ _Two_ million, miss Dior. Think you can afford that.”

Judy was about to wrestle her back into her seat. When she noticed the flirty smile on Octavia’s lips, her blood began to boil and the urge to strike with her footwear overwhelmed her again, so much so that Panam had to repeatedly stump on her foot to make her relax. V planned this all along, she understood why she wanted to play the tall bitch by presenting herself as easy prey, but watching her openly caress her output’s jaw line nearly sent her right out of her own body.

“Eight hundred, and I get to keep you around…” Octavia drawled. “Deck be damned, it doesn’t happen every day that a living legend appears right at my doorstep.” She watched as her prey’s eyes widened in shock. “Oh, I know who you are, V. And I know you and your lovely companions are wanted all over NUSA and beyond. Amazing that you had the balls to come here and expect you could walk out scot-free.”

Panam pulled the merc back into her seat and smashed the empty glass against the table. She held the jagged remains as a dagger, launching herself over at the woman. Octavia merely laughed as she felt the tip of the sharp glass press against her throat. “You think I’m scared of you, little thing?”

Five red dots appeared on Panam’s forehead and her friends yanked her back before anyone had the chance to open fire.

“Now, here’s what we’re going to do,” Octavia said, folding her hands on top of one another in her lap. “I will take the deck from your hands. _Brody_ can leave as a token of my good will, but you two,” she pointed directly at Panam and V, “are staying as my honored guests until I decide what to do with you. Be a good girl, darling, and run along.” She shooed Judy away and the guards pulled her out of her seat.

One of them got kicked in the balls while the other received a full frontal kick in the head as they raised her up and started carrying her away. She was like a wild animal, spitting out Spanish curses and threats as she helplessly reached out towards V and Panam.

The merc’s heart was breaking at the sight of so much fear that appeared in her lover’s eyes, but she could not risk causing a scene and potentially getting them all killed. Not yet. “I wanna see the camera feed of her leaving this place unharmed. Otherwise I can promise you a bloody, unnecessary scene.”

Octavia let her jack into the system and watch Judy go, leaving herself completely vulnerable as her eyes were trained on the guards shoving her woman out the door. She didn’t even get her gun back.

“Happy now?”

“Elated.” V disconnected, sinking down into the seat. “You know, I feel kinda flattered.”

Panam looked at her as if she couldn’t believe what she was hearing. “V? What’s the point? The bitch has us surrounded, at least drop the damn game already.”

“You thought you could fool me?” Octavia gave a slow clap. “Wonderful job, truly. I am bamboozled by your wit. Haven’t seen someone this stupid in my entire life.”

 _Like a fly in my web,_ V thought, taking some solace from the fact that she was still considered a small threat.

Ignoring the chief altogether, V put her feet up on the table. “You know we’re on the run. Desperate times, right? I could make this whole city shake, Octavia. Put me to work if you know what’s good for you.”

“I would love to see you murder a bunch of innocents for my amusement, but alas, I got better things to do,” she said as she stood up. “Put them in cuffs and bring them upstairs. I have phone calls to make.”

Judy was beyond furious. There were no words to describe how pissed she was. The damn bitch played them all, and V seemed to have expected it, wanted it to go badly in the first place. At least Panam was there to keep her ass safe, but they could easily get separated or killed on a whim.

When she looked at her phone, she realized what the plan was. V has been steadily sending her encrypted files she pulled out of the subnet – blueprints, cash bundles and coded instructions. Her magical password for them was “I bread you”, which made Judy snort.

V wanted her to stay put and find them a getaway vehicle. She wasn’t certain how the woman was able to plan this far ahead, but she guessed Panam had to get similar messages just in case Octavia lost interest in her too.

“I’m going to saw her damn legs off,” she raged as she walked the streets, kicking at the empty cans in her way. “Then beat her to death with them. _Motherfucker,_ you messed with the wrong bitch. Damn it, I barely avoid one disaster after another with the gonk and now some goth lookin’, fake vamp teeth lookin’ ass _bitch_ comes along and—“ She kicked a trash can so hard it flew across the sidewalk. A trapped cat meowed in fear as the thing rolled down the steep road into traffic. “Sorry,” she murmured as she shoved her hands into her pockets and resumed her angry stomping.

“Spare some change?” A man who stank worse than V when she fell into the latrine pit reached out with his empty hands and in her blind rage she gave him a piece of gum instead of eddies. “Tutti frutti, my favorite!”

She spotted a van that looked almost the same as her old one chilling in front of a shabby megabuilding. Some women were outside, sitting on the stairs and smoking, but the thing was pretty much unguarded otherwise. And the door was left ajar.

Whistling like a doofus, Judy nervously came up to the van and got inside. Once she closed the door, she stopped breathing and listened for any signs of trouble. There was no response. She relaxed, then twisted the key in the ignition and fought with the engine to make it start. “Come on, come on, come on…” When she noticed the Chinese man looking inside through the opened window, she froze up. “Uhm…”

“Ran out of gas?” he asked, completely oblivious to the fact that the vehicle was not hers. “Got a canister in my garage, can be yours for a hundred.”

“’Preciated.” She did not trust herself to speak more. The guy had a good heart, even if he slightly overcharged her for the gas. As he pumped it into the tank, Judy’s eyes kept dancing across the street, fingers clutching at the wheel for dear life. _Do it for her, come on, you can handle a little theft._ When she faced the smiling guy again her resolved nearly shattered.

“All full now.” He accepted the cash from her and tipped his hat in appreciation. “You be careful, a’right? Gangs havin’ races out there tonight.”

 _Wonderful_ , Judy wanted to groan until her throat would give out. “Uh, yeah. Bye.” She sped out of there like her life was on the line, cursing V and her stupid plan.

V spun around on the giant roulette wheel imbedded into the floor of their room, butt seated in the space reserved for the ball. Though her hands were cuffed, that didn’t stop her from raising them up as if she was enjoying a rollercoaster ride. “Woo, I’m faster than diarrhea!”

Panam watched from the bed, too busy seething in anger to enjoy their luxurious prison. “I hate waiting around like this!” She stood up and started pacing. This was the very room V has scouted out earlier in hopes it belonged to Octavia. Surprise, surprise, it did not.

“Can’t hear you, too busy enjoying myself over here.” V hacked the rigged game again and set it into a full spin once more.

Octavia was watching the camera feed from the distance, shaking her head in disbelief. She expected them to start fighting their way out or at least panic since she literally owned their lives now. What a nice catch, having the sole perpetrators of the Arasaka raid on a silver platter, not to mention how many other people V has managed to piss off. They would not hesitate to pay for her, dead or alive. Problem was, Octavia aimed to keep them both, but she did enjoy showing off her collection to those who yearned to claim it for themselves.

Panam walked over to the merc and kicked her off the roulette wheel. Her patience was already spread thin and seeing her second-in-command do anything but take the situation seriously made her question the entire plan.

“Stop kicking me!”

“I will when you quit being such a gonk!” Panam sank down to the floor next to her. “She smashed our phones. What do we do now, huh?”

“We use smoke signals.” When her joke was clearly not appreciated, V took offense. “We’re not dead yet, Panam, cheer up a little.”

“She will kill us, V. We won’t get out.”

“There is a way,” she said quietly. “This bed looks sturdy. Wanna help me break it?”

“WHAT?!”

V jumped up on the king sized bed with satin sheets and began hopping around. Well, if she just aimed to wreck the rich woman’s shit, Panam had no objections. She helped her demolish the bed until the boards underneath it broke in several places, sending them tumbling to the floor. Vases were next, along with the lamps, the small, delicate statues, and finally, the roulette wheel. It was drowned in the best wine, creating a shallow pool inside – a dream of any eccentric alcoholic.

“Okay, I feel better now,” Panam smiled and trapped V in a hug as she brought her hands over her head. She lifted the girl up and gave her a good squeeze, laughing when she fought to get herself free. “Oh you’re not getting away from me that easy. You’re trapped. Pay up, and I will reconsider.”

“I am going to back us both into that pool.”

“We will drown.”

“But what a way to go…”

Panam bumped her forehead against V’s and pulled back. “Idiot. I’m supposed to keep you alive until Judy has a chance to propose. Not gonna fail my mission for some dumb alcoholic prank.”

V looked at her in sheer surprise. “What?” She spoke in such a tiny voice that the chief barely heard her.

“Ah, crap. I have said too much.” Panam retreated and hid behind the bar. “I SAID NOTHING!”

The merc had to sit down. Judy has already brought it up, true, but she didn’t think she planned on going through with it…not before the surgery, at least.

The door swung open. Octavia waltzed in, surveying the room like a mother who has come back home to find absolute mayhem in her house. “Have fun sleeping on the floor because I am _not_ relocating you to another room.” Her lip curled in disgust when she noticed the ruined wheel. “Heathens…”

“Listen here, bitchy tits,” Panam advanced on the woman, “I’ve had it with your games. Let’s resolve this once and for all.”

Octavia shoved her onto the couch with almost inhuman strength, planting her heel right between Panam’s sprawled legs. The sound that escaped her mouth made her blush furious red as she looked down at the close proximity of that sharp object. A few bare inches upwards or to the sides and it would not have been pretty. “That’s cheap!”

“Those are anything but cheap, sweetheart,” the tall woman smirked down at the chief, revealing a sharp canine. “The straps are from real leather. Panther, if you’re willing to believe that.”

A bottle thudded against the back of Octavia’s head as V jumped up at her from the ruined bed. The guards were on her in a second, but stopped short of shooting her when their boss raised her hand dismissively. She turned around to face the merc, eyes ablaze with fury. “Oh you little…” She grabbed her by the throat and lifted her up, “Might as well just kill you and add your skull to my collection. You’re too much trouble alive.”

V repeated a move she has seen earlier from Judy and kicked the woman so mercilessly that she bent over with the force of it. Panam planted her boot against the woman’s ass, throwing her off balance. She fell down to her knees and dropped V before another kick sent her into the roulette pool, which started spinning wildly thanks to V’s quick-hack.

The two then threw themselves at the guards, using everything from tables to spare flip flops as weapons. The handcuffs were restricting, but great for choking, which also provided human shields clad in polymer armor. They jumped from one victim to another, tripping the men before they could take good aim and then grabbing a hold of them, breaking their necks. Those that still survived were finished off with their own weapons.

V took the keys from one of them and undid her and Panam’s bonds.

Before Octavia could join the slaughter, the chief pointed her gun at her forehead. “Drop dead, gorgeous.”

“Wait!” the casino owner raised her hands in surrender. “I am no use to you dead.”

“Perhaps,” V said nonchalantly and silently hinted to Panam to knock her out. The chief was all too happy to do so by slamming the butt of her rifle against her skull. “Well, fuck.”

“What? We got the job done, now let’s get the hell out.”

“Don’t you get how stupid this turned out?” V threw her gun down and knelt beside Octavia. “We have little to no time to act here - can’t get the money so we wouldn’t have to do this twice, and I don’t even know where the deck is. We’d leave empty-handed.”

“Then just leave her, alright? I’m more than happy to kick her ass _again_.” Panam stole the woman’s diamond necklace and unclasped her shoes. “I’m freeing what’s left of the panther by taking it with me. These shoes are too expensive to ignore.”

“Why do you people always steal shoes?” V lamented as she drew data from the unconscious woman. Octavia’s ID pass was now hers. “Think we can use that elevator now. Come on.”

Judy watched the entrance of the casino with baited breath. When the two gonks ran out from the back of the building, she gunned the engine and felt like her heart would burst with the amount of anxiousness she has experienced in these past few hours. “Fuck, I’m not built for this.” Sweet basement. Oh, how she missed it.

“GET IN HERE!” she yelled when they paused to look around.

Panam jumped over the van to claim the passenger seat and V reluctantly got into the back.

“Preem work, babe!” V clung to Judy’s seat to avoid the flying boxes in the back. “Nice van.”

“Fuck you, and fuck your heist,” Judy ignored the praise, keeping her eyes on the road. “You injured?”

“Nope. What about you, V?”

“I’m good,” she said, only aware of a few bruises. They got lucky back there.

Panam put her seatbelt on when she noticed the breakneck speed at which Judy was driving. “Well, we lost the deck, but V has everything she needed for the heist prep and I got this beauty.” She raised the diamond necklace and watched the street lights reflect in it. “Gotta cover our expenses for most of the gear we’re gonna need.”

“Forget it,” Judy insisted. “This was such a loose fuckin’ plan, you both could’ve been zeroed back there.”

V reached out and squeezed her shoulder. “We still need the money from somewhere, Jude. Better get it from the rich girl who doesn’t need it than potentially fuck over someone whose life would be ruined. I’m not ecstatic about it either, believe me.”

A bunch of sports cars flew by them and Judy jolted in her seat, then honked aggressively. “Pendejos, who races around in traffic like that?!” V hid behind the driver’s seat and pretended she did not exist. “Egotistic sons of bitches, flexin’ their rides. Overcompensating much, dude?! That’s a motherfucking Rayfield! I could buy an apartment for that scratch!” More honking followed and the driver honked back before he disappeared. “Hope they care enough not to ram into pedestrians.”

“Judy, pedestrians!” Panam yelled and watched in horror as an old lady made her slow way across the road.

“She can move away!” Judy honked at the woman and had her doing a summersault out of danger. “See? Told ya. Old ones in the cities are healthier than you think.”

V now understood how Johnny used to feel when they drove around with Judy. It was like she was stuck inside of a tin can that was ruthlessly being kicked around. “Judy, please, I’m gonna break something back here.”

“Zip it, need to focus!”

Another sports car ran past them. It was engulfed in flames.

“Shit, wouldn’t wanna be that guy…” Panam cursed when she noticed he was slowing down, blocking their way. “OKAY FUCK THAT GUY, STEER! STEER, DAMN IT!”

“I’m trying!”

V collided against the side of the van. Dazed and confused, she fell down on her back and landed on the boxes. Judy made another sharp turn to avoid the burning car just as it exploded. Shrapnel thudded against the vehicle, denting it slightly from the outside.

Panam looked back and realized that V was unconscious.“I think you just killed your output.”

Judy slammed on the brakes, missing the five people on the sidewalk by a few feet. She opened the door and crawled inside, cradling V’s face. Her forehead was bleeding a bit, but it seemed like a minor wound. “Panam, take the wheel, please.”

“You, uh, should move to the passenger seat. My driving isn’t that different from yours, trust me. Don’t need both of you out cold.”

Exhausted and on the brink of losing her mind, the techie leaned down and buried her face in the crook of V’s neck, finding comfort in her warmth.

Panam sighed and exited the car to move to the driver’s seat. She closed the door Judy has previously opened and got into the seat. “This ain’t the time for a cuddle, but you won’t listen to me, will you?”

She drove as carefully as she possibly could, but the racing cars were running another lap, nearly tipping the van over with the force of their momentum as they fled past. Judy held onto V protectively as they slid around the floor of the van, bumping into walls.

The merc opened her eyes and tried to sit up. The vehicle ran over a bump and she ended up face-planting into Judy’s cleavage by accident. “Oomph…” She refused to move away, though. For good reasons.

Judy rolled her eyes but tolerated it, holding her body close and listening to Panam’s creative insults and complaints as they sped through the streets.

Phoenix was far behind them within a few minutes. Judy never thought she’d get so used to having open desert around herself instead of a roaring city. The change of scenery did wonders for her nerves.

“So, now that we’re done with that mess,” Panam remarked, looking back at them in the rear view mirror, “we gotta talk about the Bradors. Think we got another mutiny coming.”


	18. Family

The Bradors joined out of obligation, or so Panam thought. They owed a debt, and nomads cared for honor and loyalty more than they cared for money. Except it still held sway in matters of life and death.

As she found out, the leader of the Bradors was supposedly diagnosed with both cancer and the first signs of cyberpsychosis. It was just a rumor, and she had no way of confirming it without alering the new clan members up and showing her distrust.

Rumor or not, Bradors might be in need of money and the Aldecaldos were wanted criminals whose heads were worth a bank – not to mention V’s life was worth five times that if given to the right buyer. Add to that the close proximity to a big city and the possibility of adding two whole millions from a fancy rich lady and you’d have the perfect reason to strike. All that remained was contacting the Phoenix military and police force to come and hold them up if that was the route they would choose to follow.

“I filled in everyone capable of keeping their mouths shut, plan B is on the go the moment the assholes starts doing anything suspicious,” Panam explained wearily. They stopped a few minutes away from camp. It would be foolish to go further until she was certain it was safe. “Judy, can you survey the camp for me?”

“Sure thing.” The techie connected to her drone, cloaked it, and flew quietly over the tents. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Many nomads were still up and about, singing by the campfire and eating their late meal. “It’s clear. They might just be waitin’ for us to roll in with the cash.”

Panam rested her forehead against the wheel and breathed in deep to calm her wildly beating heart. She felt like shit for second-guessing those people, especially Gav, but ever since Kylo stabbed her in the back, she would rather guard herself against any possibilities of that ever happening again. People died. However kind a man’s smile was, there were far too many things that could be hiding behind it.

“Gavin isn’t acting weird behind my back, is he?”

V considered it. “I don’t know about him, Panam, but the rest of the clan – except Zoe, of course – has flawed data on them. There is too much that is missing. Ran a background check with Dakota and their medical records and even their licenses seem forged. We were still investigating that but I thought Dakota told you already…”

“She didn’t,” Panam pulled back and looked at the stars outside. “I trust her, so if she thought there was no reason to worry…” For a moment she wished to be back there with V and Judy, or at least to have Gav by her side to offer some semblance of comfort. “I’m beat, let’s go in. Got no money, so fuck them all. If we get jumped anyway, I got an angry panzer boy standing at the ready.”

The van was surrounded the moment it was parked. The nomads wanted news, but dispersed when they noticed how unwilling all women were to talk about what happened. Especially when V summed it up as eloquently as “We came, we saw, we failed.”

“We’re riding out west tomorrow morning. I’m talking super early, perhaps at four if I'll feel merciful,” Panam shouted over the chatting family. “Go to sleep, all of you. Lights out, don’t want anyone to come poking around when our presence is known to the city.”

Gavin took her hand and caressed her knuckles. “I’m glad you’re alright.”

Panam looked over at V and Judy and realized how solid she felt about those two compared to this man. Their loyalty was a given, something she could rely on. For fuck’s sake, V would even take a bullet for her, she did not doubt that she was stupid enough to do so. Gav, though? Just a pretty face, untested, mysterious, and potentially capable of devastating heartbreak. Perhaps this would test his integrity, but for now, all she wanted was a nice bed all to herself.

“That makes two of us, champ. Good night!” She patted his chest and retreated as quickly as her legs allowed.

V dragged her output into their tent and closed the flap. Standing there, all alone, shielded from the rest of the world, V finally let herself relax and drew Judy into an embrace. “Thought playing stupid would get us farther. All it did was lure her into walking inside of our room with the bare minimum of guards.”

“Shh, don’t wanna hear about that.” Judy wrapped her arms around her neck and snuggled closer. “Distract me, please.”

Reaching out to switch on the radio, V flipped through several stations in close succession until she found a slow song, even though it was some Hispanic remix popular at shabby weddings.

“Sorry, lack of options,” she murmured into Judy’s hair as she started to gently sway to the sides. V has never done this before – slow dancing in the dark, pressed so close she could feel her lover’s heartbeat. The attempted romantic moment was tough to maintain, though. The gun for hire has never taken a dance class in her entire life and it showed in her clumsy footwork.

When V stepped on her foot for the third time, Judy lost her patience and did it back to her. Repeatedly.

This sparked a war, and the two tried to throw each other off balance, laughing and twirling in the small space until the back of V’s legs hit the bed. Judy pushed her down, smiling in triumph. “Outdanced ya, prick.” She pecked her on the lips in consolation.

“That was a wrestling match, idiot,” V retorted fondly.

“Not in my book it wasn’t,” Judy chuckled and rolled up V’s shirt to carefully trace the skin around the new tattoo. “Wanna insult me more? Go ahead.”

V smirked. “Horrible driver.”

“Okay, fuck you, you left-footed brute.”

“Fuck me yourself, you messy sock thief.”

“Not with that attitude, my clueless pumpkin.”

V kissed the tip of her nose. “Nerd.”

“Dumbass.”

“Chain smoker.”

“Cracker hoarder.”

Unable to resist anymore, V succumbed to the pull of those luscious lips, if only for a brief moment. “Miss can’t-sit-normal-even-if-her-life-depended-on-it.”

“Like you can do that yourself,” Judy spoke against her lips before claiming them again in a longer, deeper kiss. “Fuck, I love you.”

“You’re so hot right now,” V said between kisses, hands slipping beneath Judy’s shirt to cup her breasts through the bra. “Beautiful...” She looked up at her woman, remembering that she aimed to propose at some point and the thought was so overwhelming she felt butterflies in her stomach.

Unaware of V’s chain of thoughts, Judy arched her back and closed her eyes as she took hold of the wandering hands and guided them wherever she pleased. “Insults, V. Keep ‘em coming.”

“Don’t think I can anymore.”

Judy paused and looked down, realizing that the heat of the moment was replaced with something softer. She let V caress her cheek and forgot about the dumb game altogether.

It took two days of hard and fast driving until Panam was satisfied with the distance they have put between them and Octavia. They camped three hours away from a small town on a rocky hill.

V wanted to take her sweet time planning the heist to come up with the tightest plan possible, so there was no rush to get back to Phoenix and pick up where they left off.

Zoe pulled her aside to the med center with none other than Tam’s mother in the early afternoon. “You both share the same rare blood type, my negative ABs! Woohoo!” The ripperdoc raised her hand up in a cheer, but her enthusiasm was wasted on the two. “Anyway, I need your blood, Kim. Like, a lot, so this one can survive when she gets injured next time.”

The Vietnamese woman was utterly indifferent. “And?”

Zoe scratched her cheek. “I’ll give you candy?”

“I would sooner watch this one bleed to death than move a muscle to help her,” Kim said in all seriousness before turning around and leaving.

“At least you tried.” V patted her shoulder and left the truck. She expected the woman to be reluctant, but never thought her to become this hostile. Guess Tam’s onesie would have to stay with her until this conflict gets resolved. _If_ it gets resolved.

Zoe followed her over to her car. “V, this is a serious problem. Forget Tucson and the surgery, I am not a miracle worker. You die on me and we’re done here.”

V pulled up two stocked boxes to function as a table. She placed a set of spray cans on top and grabbed the red one, giving it a good shake. “You can filter other types, I had Vic do that for me many times. Never thanked me for it, but ya know. Not the end of the world.”

“That is risky in an open environment, even with my gear.” Zoe stopped complaining when she spotted the transgender flag. “Oh my.”

The merc expected another bout of stupid jokes or doubts. Instead, she received a fierce hug that was so brief she wasn’t certain whether it actually happened.

“Ally!” Zoe pinched her cheeks, then grew serious. “You’re not gonna paint over that, are you?”

“I will repaint it back on.”

“And that makes me really happy.”

The merc had a sudden realization as she watched Zoe go. She couldn’t tell with Claire and for some reason she couldn’t see the signs with Zoe either. Not that it mattered, of course, it just hammered in the fact that she was clueless about yet another aspect of life.

Red wasn’t her color of choice, but it was the only paint she could find that they sold in bulks. Once Beast changed her coat to a more fiery option, V repainted the flag and added the lesbian and bisexual ones for good measure. “I might as well do a whole rainbow here.”

She exchanged the cans for black and went to paint the doors when she felt something latch onto her leg. Tam smiled up at her as she sat on her foot. “Bee!”

“No, it’s V.”

“Bee, bee, bee!”

Judy appeared by her side, snickering. “I’m gonna use that from now on.”

Wherever she went, Tam went with her, holding onto her persistently with no intent of letting go. V didn’t want to get more attached, but fighting the urge to pick her up and involve her somehow was absurdly draining. “Come on, your mouth will be full of dust if you don’t let go.”

“Don’t think she cares, my busy bee.” Judy earned herself a pouty stare and she responded to it by blowing her a kiss. “Lemme help out with the painting.”

“Help me get her off first.”

When V bent down to remove the child, Tam instinctively began fake-crying loud enough for the whole camp to notice. Panicking, the merc straightened up and looked for her wrathful mother, but Kim was blissfully oblivious and nowhere to be seen. The crying turned into laughter and V slumped in defeat.

Arms wrapped around her neck as Judy stepped up to her and now she was trapped by both girls. “Seriously?”

Judy tightened her grip and Tam mirrored her action. “You’re a big teddy bear.”

 _A teddy bear with deadly mantis blades and bastardly behavior towards the elderly,_ V thought as she watched the clouds in the sky, waiting to be freed from her prison.

“What is this cute love sandwich, I want in!”

And then there was Panam, colliding into her from the back and latching onto them with determination. “Hi, Tam. Hey, Judy.”

Tam greeted her back with a cute sound that seemed almost like Panam’s name. She started talking more ever since the other kids took her under their wing, albeit out of punishment.

Mitch opened his arms wide and hugged them from the side. When she noticed the merc’s loud protesting, Lucy left her cooking station and jogged over to them. V closed her eyes before the big woman bumped into them and squeezed them all tight.

She couldn’t breathe. It was too hot. And all they did was laugh and ruffle each other’s hair like an annoying family.

_Family…_

This was the first time she ever felt like the word applied to the clan. _My family._

Robert booed them from the distance and out of the corner of her eye she could spot Sam and Xenia shyly holding hands as they sat by an empty table. Despite Kim’s animosity, V could not even remember what it truly felt like to be ostracized from this community anymore.

Once they broke apart, she drew in a deep breath and hid her vulnerable emotional state behind an offended frown. “Almost squeezed the life outta me.”

Panam bent down and picked Tam up into her arms. The child would have avoided her normally, but now she grew considerably more comfortable around other nomads. “Say it to this cute face. See that? The mercenary is being mean to you.”

The kid shook her tiny fist in anger. Feeling thoroughly threatened, V put her hand over her heart and made puppy eyes at the girl, asking for forgiveness. Tam raised her nose up haughtily and looked away.

“She’s too smart for her age,” Judy observed. “If she can resist that look of yours than she has a very bright future ahead of her.”

The girl and the rest of the nomads dispersed, leaving the two lovers alone. V played Samurai and elektropunk on the radio as they worked on Beast. Judy drew her ghost in the shell design over the passenger door and V worked her ass off to make a proper Samurai logo on her door, positioning it into a black background. With a bit of Judy’s help, it turned out almost identical.

“Damn, you _do_ know how to draw!”

V rubbed the back of her neck, smiling modestly. “Only on Mondays.”

When lunch was served, V chose to eat whatever Lucy cooked up for having close to no appetite that day; the relic was malfunctioning again, giving her nosebleeds and another splitting headache. Before she sat down on her chair, she noticed four big pins on it, placed strategically to cause as much harm as possible. V swiped them off, inspecting the rest of the seat carefully before plopping down on it.

Jolene was by her side within a minute. “You got lucky this time. I would be scared to sit anywhere were I you—“

She was gently pushed out of the way.

“Mom!”

Her mother sat down on the chair opposite to V with her own bowl of oily ramen. She cupped her daughter’s cheek and held her gaze. “Enough with the pranks, sweetie. Bring that energy over to your studies, alright? Off you go now, momma needs to talk business with the mercenary.”

Jolene squinted at the smug solo, but did not dare to say a word in front of her mother. Once she left, V awkwardly realized she didn’t even know the elegant woman’s name. It’s been something over a month already and she was still unfamiliar with several of the nomads.

“Didn’t catch your name before.”

“You can call me the queen of poison and subterfuge.” She offered her hand to the reluctant netrunner as if expecting she’d plant a kiss on it. When V simply stared like an idiot, she laughed out loud – a sound that was _not_ so elegant, clashing with the rest of her dark aesthetic. “Oh, I’m messing with you. My name is Rhea, but I do dabble in poison. My child likes to peruse my hidden jars and glass cases with dangerous flowers, so I’d be extra careful about those pins if I were you.”

“Lovely.” God, what a way to go. She could hear the news announcers having a field day with that.

“Relax, she is not out to kill you. The worst she can do is paralyze you for a few hours.” Rhea looked around to see if her daughter was within earshot and then said, “You do realize that she has a crush on you, right?”

V straightened up in her chair as if she was shot by a bolt of electricity. “The fuck?”

Her lunch buddy was not pleased by it either. “Can’t deal with it normally, poor thing. I am not even sure if she knows what it means. I do hope I can expect you to be appropriate with her?”

“I would never—“ The accusation sparked so much anger she could barely contain it. But it all made sense now. _Damn it, she’s like me._ “Listen, I have no interest in paying your daughter even the minimal amount of attention. She has caused me nothing but trouble and I am tired of fighting with her, so don’t even dare think that I would start giving her pamphlets and teach her the tongue pops and death drops, okay? Okay.”

Rhea listened to the outburst with quiet glee. This woman definitely shared her daughter’s delight in messing with people. “I needed to make a point, V, no need to get your knickers in a twist. Now, for the real reason why I’m talking to you…” She took a sip of her ramen and promptly dumped it into the sand. “Don’t eat that. Anyway, my point is: you are planning a heist, and I want in on it.”

Glad to have a change of topic, V gave her own meal a taste. It was horrible, but at least it was warm. “Heard that right, I am still in the beginning phases only. Why the sudden interest?”

The eyes of the black-haired woman shone with restless energy and desperate eagerness. “I might not look like it anymore, but I was one of the best thieves in Oregon once. Ran with a crew, perhaps you heard of them? _The Secret Breakers_.” V started fangirling on the spot and Rhea had to calm her down. “Okay, I appreciate your enthusiasm, but listen. I want this to remain between the two of us and whoever you’re willing to take into your crew. Whatever you wish to steal, I want in on it. Consider it one last thrill in an old woman’s life. You will not regret including me, V, I will make sure of that.”

Gavin was minding his own business at the bar. It was a warm night, and he thought he could enjoy his chilled Broseph in peace, but V had other plans.

“Oi, pretty boy.” She stole up to him, shouldering a shovel and holding a heavy chain. He looked around to make sure she wasn’t talking to someone else, slightly intimidated by the sight of her. “Come along, got a job for ya.”

It looked like she was about to bury him alive out there in the desert. Nervous, the man agreed to follow her to her car. She loaded her equipment into the back of the truck and got in, then drove off into the night.

“This a friendly ride, or am I being tested?” he asked into the silence.

V pried a lollypop from her pocket and placed it into her mouth. It was the brand she used to rely on when Johnny’s cravings got bad– the stuff somewhat helped quell the addiction. Zoe was kind enough to buy her a whole box in order to keep her away from smoking. 

She looked over at Gav and wondered what Panam saw in him. He looked like a regular Joe, handsome, but ordinary enough to get lost in a crowd. His charisma was close to nonexistent too, so either he only showed his true colors around one nomad chief, or Panam’s taste in men was somewhat bland.

“Oh I am definitely testing you,” she admitted without any scruples. “We’re gonna run a gig for the good folks up in the nearby town. Dakota’s orders, I do owe her a job or two. Figured we could work together and bond a little.”

“You threatened to shoot my dick off not too long ago and now you want us to be chooms?” He snorted. “You doin’ this for Panam, right? I get it. Doesn’t mean we have to like each other.”

“Ooh, attitude!” She stopped the car and gestured for him to get out. “Animosity it is, then. Go, walk the rest of the way on your own. You might make it in two hours of relentless sprinting.”

Gav folded his arms and refused to leave his seat. “You’ve made your point, merc. Get us up there and I’ll keep my mouth shut.”

“Small victories,” she muttered and resumed driving. The man had seemed reasonable and mild-tempered before. Odd change, all of a sudden.

The silence was rather awkward. V punched in Judy’s favorite elektropunk band and watched the man squirm in his seat as if his ears were bleeding. By the time they made it to the town, Gav was thoroughly pissed at her.

The job was simple: there was a grave robbery and no one knew who was the culprit, or why the fresh corpse of a deceased grandpa had to be dug up in the first place. Instead of running an investigation, the granddaughter of the victimized old man ordered another body theft done under the guise of the new moon. It was the grandma of the suspected perp, which made for a rather petty, imperfect revenge. Like in some old, shitty western flick.

“We only have one shovel,” V pointed out once they silently snuck into the creepy cemetery. “Wanna do the good thing and dig while I open up a beer and watch you work?”

Gav took out the local guard who nearly walked in on them committing a crime, gently lying him down by the fence. “Your job, remember? Shovel away.”

“I’m literally dyin’.” V coughed weakly, leaning against the shovel. “And I’m the last person who should be disturbing the dead. My final days should not be tainted by such a heinous crime.”

“Shoulda thought of that sooner. Chop, chop, before someone sees us.”

V shook her head and spat down into the sand. _Men._ “You’re doin’ piss-fuckin’ poorly, Arizona boy. Bet you wouldn’t let Panam get her hands dirty.”

Their banter ceased as V started digging in earnest. It went pretty fast, though she was certain she was overexerting herself while the gonk sat around and drew barely visible landscapes in the sand. The shovel hit the coffin and she dug around it until they could lift it out safely. V did not intend to look inside, but her partner did steal a peek before she could stop him. He gagged at the stench that wafted out.

“That’s a bit rude,” V scolded him, ignoring the awful smell with all her might. “She can’t help it.”

Unsettled, he began moving away from the grave. “Shit, death really don’t look pretty on her. Don’t know how you stand even handling that thing.”

“No one told you to open it. Grandma’s coffin isn’t a loot box.”

“You callin’ me a grave robber now?”

She huffed, suppressing the laughter that was slowly building up in her chest. He was looking for something valuable in there, as if they uncovered King Tut instead of a regular woman from a small backwater town. “A bit late for denial, don’t you think?” She knelt down and wrapped the chain around the shabby coffin, fixing it in place with a padlock. “Grab her, come on.”

The unassuming grave robbers put the shovel on top of the coffin and carried it around the sleeping town as fast as they were able, clinging to shadows and avoiding all the guards. V knocked on the contact’s door and greeted the vengeful granddaughter with an easygoing smile. “Midnight grandma delivery, at your service.” _Want fries with that?_

“Oh, good,” the woman looked down at the chained wood. “Why is she locked in there?”

“We don’t want her to get out,” V said with a shrug.

Gav looked at the client apologetically before he turned to the merc. “She isn’t a zombie, mind being more respectful?”

“Could be one for all we know.” V reached out impatiently. “Money, please. And let us deposit her inside, we are literally standing at your doorstep with a stolen corpse.”

The woman looked outside, terrified and unsettled worse than Gav when his eyes spotted the dead body. “I don’t want her! Just take the coffin away, do whatever you want with it. Just get her out of town.” She pressed a credit chip into V’s hand and shut the door in her face.

V slid it into her pocket, thinking how much she hated jobs that involved getting creative and doing shit you weren’t specifically paid for. They loaded the grandma into the pickup truck and drove back. Half-way to the camp, V stopped and dragged the coffin across the ground to a spot surrounded by three big rocks and Joshua trees, determined to bury her there.

Gavin offered to help her this time around. As she passed him with a shovel, she made a sudden turn and the man fell down into the sand, unconscious.

“Oops, clumsy me.” V threw the shovel aside and took his phone. Her face scrounged up in disgust when she noticed Panam’s cute selfie as his wallpaper. “Don’t pretend you’re in love, Gav.” She slapped the man’s back, testing how out of it he really was. She hit him pretty hard. “Okay, time to snoop.”

And snoop she did.

By the end of it, she pulled out enough data to make a clear conclusion. She covered her tracks and put the phone back into the man’s pocket.

V buried the body and held vigil above it once she wrote the woman’s info on one of the rocks with a marker. “How’s it going, Petunia? Hope you don’t mind and think about this as one last adventure in death. Preem spot for a resting place, if I do say so myself.” She picked out another lollypop, wishing it could have been a real cig instead. “Johnny Silverhand would have given everything to be treated like you, but I get it. Kids prolly can’t walk all these miles into the desert to visit so often. I’ll ping them the nav point eventually, don’ worry. Rest up, you’ve earned it.”

Gav came to with a pained whine, running his hand through his short hair to make sure he was not bleeding. “The fuck happened?”

“Didn’t look where you were goin’ so I clocked you. Sorry?” She didn’t really care, though. “There’s a storm coming, let’s delta.”

He agreed and they drove back to the camp. V walked into Panam’s tent to wake the woman up, but she apparently couldn’t catch a wink and spent the night hunched over the table, tinkering with her sniper rifle. When she spotted the merc, she immediately stood up. “Well? Is he…”

“You were right, Panam.” V patted her shoulder in sympathy. “He’s a mole.”


	19. Bad Influence

All the nomads were ready to execute plan B within a heartbeat. Mitch and V got up into the basilisk and the seven Bradors were apprehended, tied down, and thrown in front of the tank. Despite the extremely late hour, everyone was awake, eagerly awaiting what Panam would do with the traitors.

“You piece of—“ The chief swung her arm and slapped her lover so hard she sent him flying backwards. She yanked him back up and pulled him to his knees again. “SHIT! YOU WERE IN CONTACT WITH ARASAKA AND BOUNTY HUNTERS THE WHOLE FUCKIN’ TIME?”

V peeked out of the tank, wanting a better view on the action. “Mitch, you got some popcorn?”

Upon hearing the merc, Gavin spat out a mouthful of blood and looked up at Panam defiantly. “We are just trying to survive and give Leopold more time to live. I thought you of all people would understand that.”

Zoe cried genuine tears and held her hands clasped together as if in a prayer when she regarded the chief. “Please, I had no idea what they were up to. I came here for the Relic, not the drama.”

“But you knew about Leopold’s condition, did you not?” Panam fixed her with an icy glare. “You had to treat him, Zoe.”

“Fuck no!” The ripper fell down and beat the ground with her bound fists. “I hate the man and he hates me, he would never even let me touch him, let alone diagnose him. Please, Panam, I beg you. All of my efforts, all of my motivations were _just_ for V.”

Judy knelt by her side and wrapped a blanket over her shoulders. “C’mon, she’s all shaken up. You know how much she cares, Panam, and we need her. _I_ need her.” Her own plan B had no hope of succeeding if the woman died now.

Panam deflated somewhat and ordered Cassidy to undo her bonds. “I’m sorry, had to make sure. As for the rest of ya money-hungry hyenas, there’s a storm gathering in the distance and I got no time to deal with you shitheads. I’m leaving you out here with nothing but the bare clothes on your backs, bound with no shelter around for miles. You can call it mercy, because I would love to do so much worse…” Her gaze fell on Gavin. “Everyone, break the camp and hurry the fuck up. They ordered six hunters on our hides and whole Phoenix knows we made a visit at the casino. We gotta hide it out for a while. Dismissed.”

The nomads went their way and ignored the six Bradors begging to be released. They left them there just like Panam ordered, at complete mercy of the elements.

Several days on the run had them scrambling for supplies as they were pushed deeper and deeper into the desert, away from Tucson. Panam closed herself off and had many fights with Dakota, who had previously withheld information on the Bradors to “avoid further conflict”. If they wanted money to save Leopold, they could have worked it out together, or so the old nomad believed. V’s life was not their only concern if others were in danger, and Bradors once were a sibling clan to the Aldecaldos. Naturally, Panam called her reasoning complete and utter bullshit.

As much as V wanted to console her broken-hearted friend, she could tell that the woman needed some space. Even though she’s avoided a potentially fatal betrayal before it could happen and saved lives, she still paid a high price for that peace.

In a poor attempt at consolation, her second-in-command left a pair of socks with polka dots on her bed, identical to the ones Panam once described to the unsuccessful sock detective over a beer. It was easier to find a new pair than to potentially present her with a worn out, dirty sock anyway. Panam smiled when she found the gift and sent her bestie a message, thanking her for the thoughtful gesture. It was a small thing, but it did make her feel better. At least for a little while.

V spent her free time avoiding Jolene’s poor pranks and playing with Tim Tam when her mother was occupied with gossip and yoga classes. She held the girl up in her arms and walked around the camp, pointing at things and naming them.

“Say truck, Tammy.”

“Fuck.”

“Oh no.”

V looked around, but no one seemed to have witnessed the new term in Tam’s growing vocabulary. Perhaps her mother was right, she _was_ a bad influence on the kid. She let go of her and ended their until-then innocent playtime prematurely, deciding to check on Zoe instead.

She found her sitting in the ripperdoc chair with her face hidden in her palms.

“Still beatin’ yourself up?” V sat down on the floor in front of her. Seeing the usually hyperactive, chipper woman so passive and in such a bad mood was a cruel reminder of what they left behind. “Can give you something to do if you want.”

Zoe did not respond to pity, or offers of help, but she welcomed distractions with open arms. V had something else in mind, like a game of cards, but when the brunette asked to poke around her head again (for therapeutic reasons no less), she basically cornered herself into accepting. Zoe sawed into her and began performing small surgeries as prep for the final one. By the end of it V was high on pain killers and sporting fresh bandages. It was nighttime already and she wobbled over to the shared campfire, only realizing it belonged to the kids.

“Wrong spot, sorry,” V slurred and tried to leave, but the kids pulled her back down on the blanket.

“Well, well, well.” Jolene rubbed her palms together. V could imagine the cogs moving in her head as she began scheming. “Didn’t even have to dip your toothbrush in wasabi sauce. You’re so vulnerable right now, I could just throw you into this fire.”

Jax pulled her aside. “Jolene? A bit extreme?”

“You only defend her because you like her output!”

“She gave me bubble gum!”

“Traitor.”

The rest of the kids held the merc down as if she was about to resist. V was slowly nodding off, half-convinced this was some strange fever dream. When she slumped forward and fell into the sand, the kids stopped bickering and stared at her in horror.

“We killed her.” Jax took Jolene by the shoulders and started shaking her. “We are so dead, my mom will be furious! Panam will leave us in the next sandstorm just like what she did with those other people. I’M NOT READY TO DIE!”

Martha checked the merc’s pulse, though she touched her forehead instead of an actual artery. “She flatlined on us. I can already feel her getting cold.” She looked down at her hand as if it has been tainted by the foulest of bacteria. “Ew, I touched a corpse!”

“Calm down, all of you.” Their gang leader sighed and freed herself from Jax’s grasp. “We have to hide the body. Help me burn her, we will need to make a big pyre if we want to cremate her into pure ash.”

Jax pointed a finger in her face. “This is what you wanted the whole time, you git!” He sprinted away, yelling, “Murder! Hide your women, Jolene is coming!”

“Idiot,” the kid sighed, turning to regard the three other kids at her disposal. “Well? Are you gonks deaf? I need wood.”

“There is no wood!” Martha cried, wiping her hand off on Jolene’s blouse. “Just leave her for the coyotes.”

There were no other options. They rolled her into the blanket like a burrito and dragger her off into the night, going as far as they could to dump her in a ditch. Jolene put her hands on her hips and considered whether this was a good thing or not. Definitely did not feel like it, now her favorite torture toy was dead.

“She was sick anyway,” Martha said, trying to console herself. “Right?”

“Tell no one of what we did here tonight.”

Jax burst into Judy’s tent, waking her up from her nap by shaking her chair like crazy. “What? What’cha yellin’ about?” She fell asleep at the desk while installing new parts to the tech she was prepping for V and her brain needed an extra kick to fully restart again.

“She’s cold already!”

“Who’s cold?” Damn, it did get cold now. She had goosebumps all over her body.

Jax broke into tears. “The merc. She’s cold as ice.”

“No wonder, her jacket is still here,” Judy noticed it hanging from the steel pipe holding up the ceiling of their tent. “That idiot…”

Snot was running from the boy’s nose as he ugly-cried, still holding onto her chair with a vice grip. “They wanna burn her, prolly did it already.”

“Burn her?”

“In the fire.”

“Are you guys playing some sick version of Salem witch trials or what?” She got up and collected the two jackets. “Jax? Deep breaths.” V always had ridiculous amount of tissues handy so naturally, one pack manifested right within reach and she cleaned the boy up as he did the breathing exercises.

The kid went in for a hug, which threw her off. It was one thing to see V get close to a kid and encourage that relationship – it was another thing entirely to be the sole subject of such maternal affections. Sirens went off in her mind as she kept thinking she was not ready for this, not by a long shot, but she still hugged the kid back when she felt the strong tremors overwhelm his lithe body.

“You good?” she asked as gently as she could, awkwardly patting his back to signal that she wanted to be released.

Jax pulled away and sniffled. “Jolene killed her.”

“Like…in a play?”

“For real. It was an accident.”

She shot out of the tent like a rocket, donning on her jacket as she power-walked across the nomad camp, looking for the kids. Jax ran after her and Tam followed out of pure curiosity.

“Where the hell were they last time you saw them?” Judy asked through clenched teeth.

“Over there.” Jax matched her speed and led her to the spot. Judy had to pick Tam up into her arms as the girl kept stumbling and falling when she couldn’t hold their pace.

The campfire was unoccupied and there was only an imprint of a blanket in the sand. There were, however, obvious traces of something heavy being dragged across the ground away from the camp. Judy followed the trail and found her output wiggling in a ditch, trying to roll free from the imposing blanket.

Judy put Tam down and breathed in deep to calm her nerves. V didn’t deserve her anger for this, she couldn’t help but pass out sometimes. The kids, though… they were in for an earful.

She got down to her and unwrapped her from her prison. “Cover your eyes, kids.” She made sure that Jax turned around and Tam wanted to play the game too, so she eagerly did the same. Judy lunged at the merc, ravenously claiming her lips to quell the aftertaste of raw panic on her tongue.

“What happened?” V blinked dumbly as they separated. Tam threw herself at her from that small height and the merc deftly caught her in her arms. These kids really knew how to completely sober one up within a second. “Jesus Christ!”

Jax began crying again, this time in relief. “I thought mom would kill me for sure this time.”

Judy relaxed and draped V’s jacket over her shoulders. “Let’s get back to our tent and brew some hot cocoa, alright?” All of them visibly cheered up at that and Judy couldn’t help but wonder how all of this felt so right when it did not truly belonged to them yet; when neither of them was ready for it.

V avoided Zoe like the plague the next day, though she did text her nice messages through her new phone in hopes of cheering her up. She had to get in contact with Regina regarding the cyberpsychosis therapy and dreaded that phone call even more than meeting the ripper face to face again.

The fixer shared both good and bad news: only two people she managed to save actually made some progress and one of them died after testing out the first experimental drugs. Additionally, she did mention a certain MaxTac officer who has successfully battled the illness, saying that perhaps there are more people like her in their ranks.

So it was possible to overcome it, but there was still too little to go on. Regina’s second advice was to simply keep a steady mind. How helpful.

“I’ve heard a rumor, by the way,” the fixer said, clearing her throat. “About a certain gun that people kept seeing you with? Apparently it liked to talk a lot.”

“I’m losing reception, kcchhh, it’s the static!” She bumped her phone against the blanket on her bed a few times and then picked it up again. “Sorry, bye.”

She exited the tent and nearly lost her balance. Whatever Zoe did yesterday messed her up so much she had to postpone Judy’s training. Again. If this kept going she’d never prepare the woman for the worst case scenario…

 _We’ll never be ready for it,_ she thought, but chased those thoughts away as she took in the clear desert air. The sun did her good these days and she felt a bit silly for appreciating such little things in her life now. Speaking of little things…

She found Jolene sitting on a rock, all alone. A book lay open on her knees. As the merc approached, the girl’s pupils dilated momentarily, but she did not let her relief be known otherwise. “Leave me alone, I am reading.”

“What is that book called?”

“Why do you care?”

V squatted down in the sand and rested her back against the rock Jolene was seated on. “I’m tired of this stupid tit for tat you’re playin’ with me.”

She smiled and waved at Sam and Xenia when the two passed them by, being all lovey-dovey like a bunch of saps. She didn’t even mind that the boy stopped following her around everywhere, but she did feel bad for Robert. He got used to having two henchmen at his disposal.

“But I’m not tired of it yet,” the girl snapped back, closing her book shut. “I want to lead our clan one day.”

“Oh really?”

“You don’t believe me, but I will learn. And for me to learn I need to be able to handle all types of people, even the likes of you.” She slid her book down into the merc’s lap for closer inspection.

V looked at the cover and whistled. “ _Will My Cat Eat My Eyeballs_? You know, Night City had surprising amount of cats. Gave one stray to my neighbor Barry. So, do they eat them when their owners die?”

“Depends.”

“On what?!”

“How hungry they are.” Jolene took the book back. “But they will opt for the more tender meat on your face first – like lips and tongue. Wait, why are you so okay with this? Shouldn’t you be scared of death? Or reprimand me for reading about it?”

V shrugged. “Eh.”

It was like trying to communicate with a dimwitted five-year-old. Jolene flicked a rock in her direction and it bounced off the top of her head. “Tell me. This interests me. I don’t know many people who are—“

“Dying?" V tilted her chin towards Robert. “He and I are in the same boat. Jake has barely made it when his kidney got damaged, plus he is still struggling with sickle cell anemia. Ain't easy to fix that. The meds he is taking will slowly cause more trouble and he knows it. See? I'm not that special, kid."

“Aren’t you scared?”

“I’m freaking terrified.”

Jolene didn’t know what to say to that.

“If you wanna be a leader,” V said as she picked herself up and dusted her pants off, “you should talk to Panam.”

“I already tried. She just laughed awkwardly and sent me away. I know she doesn’t really feel confident, but I would appreciate some help. It will only benefit the family in the long run.”

Shit, this kid saw too much in people sometimes. “Well, if she isn’t comfortable with it, can’t force it. See ya around, Jolene.”

The chat could not have been enough, but V was cordially invited to join the small gang by their campfire that night. Judy was drinking with the yoga moms and Robert was pestering Panam who welcomed his angry company as a form of stress relief. The two yelled at each other over cards and it was cute for a little while, but one got fed up with the noise very quickly.

V sat down by Martha’s side and heard the girl breathe hard, watching her like a startled owl. “Um, here I am.”

Jolene nodded. “I can see that.”

“Helloooo!” Jax gave her a clumsy fist-bump and pointed at his painted face. “Do you like the skull?”

“Amazing details on the teeth,” V said, truly impressed. “Gonna need to use a lot of skin cream afterwards. Come find me when you need it, I got just the thing.”

“Thanks!”

“AHEM!”

They all brought their attention back to Jolene. “As our honored guest tonight, you are obliged to provide entertainment!”

V thought hard about it and decided to make this educational. It weighed on her mind a lot lately, so she opted for a retelling of the heist. She changed everyone’s names and pretended that it happened to someone she knew while claiming it was a cautionary tale about wrongly motivated desires. As in, “the greatest crimes issue from a desire for excess and not from necessity”.

Jolene listened to it all patiently, but once it was over ,she dissed the whole thing in one breath. “Shouldn’t have gone to Dexterina after such a botched up gig and instead go to Shmevelyn. The job was doomed from the start when they only had one netrunner. Think about it, one runner to deal with the security in the whole building? And no plan B? Those speeches about life of glory from both Dexterina and Shmevelyn reeked of manipulation, they obviously considered Vincent and Jackita to be absolute idiots and good-for-nothings who would not be missed if they died. Which they did.”

V’s eye twitched, but she kept her mouth shut.

“What about Madam Smasher?” Martha asked. “Sounds elegant, why did she guard the corpo boss dude?”

“What happened to B-Tug?” Jax wanted to know. “Always wanted to be a netrunner, they’re so badass.”

Another kid asked why Dexterina’s surname was something as obvious as DeFraud, but V chose to end the session there.

“A’right, I’m tired, you guys enjoy the rest of the night.” She walked away and cast a longing glance towards the bar. Just one drink. Something hard to calm the nerves. But no, it would be a temporary relief with bigger consequences in the end, she’d have to seethe in that anxious anger without substances running through her system.

The bloody know-it-all was right. What was she thinking, going to Dex after Jackie literally died on her? The moment Del parked the car at the motel, she was free to run off. Find a better solution, trust Evelyn. Maybe…maybe she would have survived then…maybe the chip could have been extracted without a problem, even if the Voodoo Boys tried to interfere…

As she wandered around, she heard yelling. Following the noise led her to a dramatic fight between the yoga moms with Judy in the middle of it all, cheering for Trisha as if she was watching an unfair wrestling match. Panam pulled the women apart and settled the fight with a few threats veiled as jokes.

“What happened there?” V asked her output, supporting her so she wouldn’t fall as they walked over to their tent.

Judy couldn’t even remember, but she knew it got her pissed off. She let V push her down onto the bed, but was far too irritated with every human on the planet to as much as kiss her. When her hand brushed against a silky leopard g-string, she paused and held it up. “This ain’t mine…”

V was shoved out of the tent before she could say anything. It was obviously another dumb prank, and it hurt that Judy fell for it so easily. The woman was not thinking clearly though, and probably wanted any excuse to sleep alone that night.

Instead of bothering others, the merc climbed up into Beast’s driver seat and pulled a blanket over herself. She’d be sore in the morning. She wanted a cuddle, damn it. Or at least be allowed to stay close to her output after being forced to have another existential crisis triggered by kids.

 _Stupid heist_ , she thought, sinking lower in her seat. _Stupid g-string_. Rhea’s underwear sure was ugly.

Her phone buzzed and she unwillingly accepted a call from none other than Octavia Dior herself.

“Darling, you look dreadful!” she said, taking pleasure in seeing her so miserable. “My agents haven’t caught up with you yet? Told them to bring you back alive, but if you should resist…I’ll take a corpse as well. Decided not to sell you after all. You should be flattered.”

V yawned. “New phone, who dis?”

Octavia was slightly taken aback. “Excuse me? You think these phone companies value your privacy more than my money? You’re lucky I can’t track you.”

“I should change my operator…”

“Good choice, do that. Won’t keep you long, V, I just wanted to say,” she took a dramatic pause, inhaling audibly. “I’ll keep in touch. Good night, mon chéri.” She blew her a kiss and V dodged it on instinct, disconnecting the call first.

She made herself comfortable and closed her eyes. The passenger door opened and for a second she thought Judy has changed her mind, but she only found Jolene sitting there instead.

“What do you want from me now?”

“Let this be a lesson to you two.”

V made a puzzled grimace. “A lesson? YOU wanna teach _me_ a lesson by turning my output against me?!”

Unfazed by her raised tone, the girl maintained a rather smug, happy posture. “You two are gross with each other. You should thank me, truly. She deserves better, and you will die soon anyway.”

Unable to take it anymore, V turned the key in the ignition and backed the car out of the tent line before making a sharp turn and speeding off deeper into the desert.

“What are you doing?” Jolene’s voice skipped as she momentarily lost control over her calm demeanor. “You’re going to kill us.”

“I won’t.” V pulled the blanket off herself and threw it aside, gunning the engine even more. “We’re going on a trip, you and I.”

The radio buzzed with static and then cleared out. “Going somewhere, V?” Panam asked sharply.

“Set a trap out back, wanna check it out.” She muted the radio after that, hoping that Panam would accept it and leave her alone. She had other things to worry about back in the camp.

Jolene was too dignified to yell for help, so she let herself be kidnapped.

V stopped the car a few miles away from the camp. “Out of the car, now.”

“What?”

The merc went out and dragged the kicking girl out of the seat before planting her feet down on the sandy ground. “You can see the camp’s lights from here, just keep following that and you’ll be fine.” She patted the girl’s head and re-entered the vehicle.

Jolene watched her go in mock apathy, but her resolve broke when the pickup truck kept going and going until it was so far it would take her several minutes of running to get to her, not to mention the miniscule camp in the distance.

Left there, all alone and scared witless, Jolene began looking around in fear. The desert was nearly devoid of life (unless V was around), but she was not afraid of the animals. The images of the cannibal clan flashed before her eyes and she found herself running breathlessly towards the waiting car in the distance. She knew V wouldn’t just up and leave her there, she was testing her.

By the time she got to the merc, Jolene was so shaky and lonely that she had no strength to maintain her calm persona anymore. She found V perched on top of the hood of the car with a cigarette-shaped lollypop in her mouth. She handed Jolene the blanket and slid down, wordlessly inviting her to come inside again.

The car was nice and warm after that merciless chill of the night. Still shaken, the kid opted to say nothing and just take whatever punishment V decided to dish out.

“You were right, you know.”

The words surprised her so much that Jolene forgot to be scared. She turned to face the merc who looked sad and contemplative.

“About the heist,” V continued. “Suppose you saw right through it and knew it was about me. A true story like that is hard to sell as a lie.” She left the kid some time to interject, ask questions, or be defensive, but Jolene just kept quiet. “At that moment, when it all happened and I was stuck in the car with the body of my best friend, every bit of logic evaporated from my noggin. There was nothin’ else but fear, Jolene. I hope you’ll never experience that kind of helplessness, but I truly wished Dex would have somehow made everything right, because I sure as hell wasn’t in the right mindset to do so.”

Entranced by the honesty and vulnerability, Jolene selfishly wished for more of this, so she finally spoke up. “I…am sorry you had to go through that.”

“Yeah,” the merc gave a small laugh filled with enough sorrow to break one’s heart. “You wanna be a leader? You will have to do everything with enough confidence to save people like that scared young mercenary who came to Dex for help. No matter how frightened and lost you are yourself – you lose the right to be selfish. Panam doesn’t know how to teach you all that, she is still learning it herself.”

She offered the girl a can of soda and they shared it as they listened to the radio, watching the stars outside. Beast became a small, comfy cocoon for them, if only for a little while.

“My mom doesn’t want me to stay with the clan, let alone lead it,” the girl complained bitterly. “She either wants me to become famous or smart. Like university level smart.”

“Don’t listen to that.” V noticed that stifling power dynamic earlier. “Parents can’t live through their children. Keep doin’ what you feel is right, but take advice on the way.”

She drove them back to the same spot near her and Judy’s tent and killed the engine. “Alright, good talk. Tomorrow you’ll set Judy straight.” God, that sentence did not even sound right. “I am _not_ fighting with her over some stupid pranks. Understood?”

Jolene sighed. “Fiiine. Can I, um…stay here?”

“No.”

“Goodnight then. Sorry for what I said.” She got out and gently closed the door.

V snatched her blanket back and wrapped herself in it. She cast a longing glance at the tent nearby and grumbled angrily as she settled to sleep, truly hoping that Jolene’s confused war of attrition was over for good this time.


End file.
